| Title | : | How to Be Perfect: An Illustrated Guide |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 1566894557 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9781566894555 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Hardcover |
| Number of Pages | : | 112 |
| Publication | : | Published September 13, 2016 |
Ron Padgett's How Long was a Pulitzer Prize finalist in poetry and his Collected Poems won the William Carlos Williams Award from the Poetry Society of America and the Los Angeles Times Book Prize for the best poetry book of 2013. His work has been translated into eighteen languages.
Jason Novak is a cartoonist whose work has appeared in the New Yorker the Paris Review and the Believer among other places. He lives in Oakland, California.
How to Be Perfect: An Illustrated Guide Reviews
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Kind of cute book of whimsical advice by old(er) poet Ron Padget, with absurdist illustrations by New Yorker cartoonist Jason Novak.
My favorite one: Don't give advice.
Here are all of them, care of the Poetry Foundation:
How to Be Perfect Related Poem Content Details
BY RON PADGETT
Everything is perfect, dear friend.
—KEROUAC
Get some sleep.
Don't give advice.
Take care of your teeth and gums.
Don't be afraid of anything beyond your control. Don't be afraid, for
instance, that the building will collapse as you sleep, or that someone
you love will suddenly drop dead.
Eat an orange every morning.
Be friendly. It will help make you happy.
Raise your pulse rate to 120 beats per minute for 20 straight minutes
four or five times a week doing anything you enjoy.
Hope for everything. Expect nothing.
Take care of things close to home first. Straighten up your room
before you save the world. Then save the world.
Know that the desire to be perfect is probably the veiled expression
of another desire—to be loved, perhaps, or not to die.
Make eye contact with a tree.
Be skeptical about all opinions, but try to see some value in each of
them.
Dress in a way that pleases both you and those around you.
Do not speak quickly.
Learn something every day. (Dzien dobre!)
Be nice to people before they have a chance to behave badly.
Don't stay angry about anything for more than a week, but don't
forget what made you angry. Hold your anger out at arm's length
and look at it, as if it were a glass ball. Then add it to your glass ball
collection.
Be loyal.
Wear comfortable shoes.
Design your activities so that they show a pleasing balance
and variety.
Be kind to old people, even when they are obnoxious. When you
become old, be kind to young people. Do not throw your cane at
them when they call you Grandpa. They are your grandchildren!
Live with an animal.
Do not spend too much time with large groups of people.
If you need help, ask for it.
Cultivate good posture until it becomes natural.
If someone murders your child, get a shotgun and blow his head off.
Plan your day so you never have to rush.
Show your appreciation to people who do things for you, even if you
have paid them, even if they do favors you don't want.
Do not waste money you could be giving to those who need it.
Expect society to be defective. Then weep when you find that it is far
more defective than you imagined.
When you borrow something, return it in an even better condition.
As much as possible, use wooden objects instead of plastic or metal
ones.
Look at that bird over there.
After dinner, wash the dishes.
Calm down.
Visit foreign countries, except those whose inhabitants have
expressed a desire to kill you.
Don't expect your children to love you, so they can, if they want to.
Meditate on the spiritual. Then go a little further, if you feel like it.
What is out (in) there?
Sing, every once in a while.
Be on time, but if you are late do not give a detailed and lengthy
excuse.
Don't be too self-critical or too self-congratulatory.
Don't think that progress exists. It doesn't.
Walk upstairs.
Do not practice cannibalism.
Imagine what you would like to see happen, and then don't do
anything to make it impossible.
Take your phone off the hook at least twice a week.
Keep your windows clean.
Extirpate all traces of personal ambitiousness.
Don't use the word extirpate too often.
Forgive your country every once in a while. If that is not possible, go
to another one.
If you feel tired, rest.
Grow something.
Do not wander through train stations muttering, "We're all going to
die!"
Count among your true friends people of various stations of life.
Appreciate simple pleasures, such as the pleasure of chewing, the
pleasure of warm water running down your back, the pleasure of a
cool breeze, the pleasure of falling asleep.
Do not exclaim, "Isn't technology wonderful!"
Learn how to stretch your muscles. Stretch them every day.
Don't be depressed about growing older. It will make you feel even
older. Which is depressing.
Do one thing at a time.
If you burn your finger, put it in cold water immediately. If you bang
your finger with a hammer, hold your hand in the air for twenty
minutes. You will be surprised by the curative powers of coldness and
gravity.
Learn how to whistle at earsplitting volume.
Be calm in a crisis. The more critical the situation, the calmer you
should be.
Enjoy sex, but don't become obsessed with it. Except for brief periods
in your adolescence, youth, middle age, and old age.
Contemplate everything's opposite.
If you're struck with the fear that you've swum out too far in the
ocean, turn around and go back to the lifeboat.
Keep your childish self alive.
Answer letters promptly. Use attractive stamps, like the one with a
tornado on it.
Cry every once in a while, but only when alone. Then appreciate
how much better you feel. Don't be embarrassed about feeling better.
Do not inhale smoke.
Take a deep breath.
Do not smart off to a policeman.
Do not step off the curb until you can walk all the way across the
street. From the curb you can study the pedestrians who are trapped
in the middle of the crazed and roaring traffic.
Be good.
Walk down different streets.
Backwards.
Remember beauty, which exists, and truth, which does not. Notice
that the idea of truth is just as powerful as the idea of beauty.
Stay out of jail.
In later life, become a mystic.
Use Colgate toothpaste in the new Tartar Control formula.
Visit friends and acquaintances in the hospital. When you feel it is
time to leave, do so.
Be honest with yourself, diplomatic with others.
Do not go crazy a lot. It's a waste of time.
Read and reread great books.
Dig a hole with a shovel.
In winter, before you go to bed, humidify your bedroom.
Know that the only perfect things are a 300 game in bowling and a
27-batter, 27-out game in baseball.
Drink plenty of water. When asked what you would like to drink,
say, "Water, please."
Ask "Where is the loo?" but not "Where can I urinate?"
Be kind to physical objects.
Beginning at age forty, get a complete "physical" every few years
from a doctor you trust and feel comfortable with.
Don't read the newspaper more than once a year.
Learn how to say "hello," "thank you," and "chopsticks"
in Mandarin.
Belch and fart, but quietly.
Be especially cordial to foreigners.
See shadow puppet plays and imagine that you are one of the
characters. Or all of them.
Take out the trash.
Love life.
Use exact change.
When there's shooting in the street, don't go near the window.
Ron Padgett, "How to Be Perfect" from Collected Poems. Copyright © 2013 by Ron Padgett. Reprinted by permission of Coffee House Press.
www.coffeehousepress.org -
Enjoyed this so much -- great advice for everyone, everywhere at any time.
Reminded me of Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen." -
Well, I'm glad I got this from the library and didn't buy it. It was cute to flip through but basically it's just a to-do list of good behavior with some doodles. So not worth the cover price.
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"Be nice to people before they have a chance to behave badly."
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When I told my sister I wanted Ron Padgett's How to be Perfect for my birthday, I didn't realize I needed to specify I wanted the poetry collection, and got instead this illustrated version of only the title poem, and I am so glad, because this book is delightful. Now I want the full collection even more.
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I wasn't sure what to expect when I found this at the library. Once I saw page 1, I couldn't put it down until I finished it. It's an INTERESTING read that is quite memorable 😜
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A mix of funny and poignant suggestions, plus excellently scraggly drawings
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Such a cute book, some parts were simple and funny, well other quotes really stood out to me!
“ imagine what you would like to see happen, and then don’t do anything to make it impossible.” -
Ron Padgett has a special place in the history of American poetry. He and Ted Berrigan both moved from Tulsa to NYC to form the nucleus of the second generation of New York School poetry. They made poetry that is zany, spacey, exuberant, and very influential. His poems, such as those found in Pulitzer-finalist How Long and New & Selected Poems are absolutely worth checking out, as is his Handbook of Poetic Forms, which will expand your sense of what a poetic form can be. This isn't really a book of poetry, though. It's more like a piece of Wisdom literature such as one of the Proverbs or the Tao Te Ching.
The aphorisms in the book veer from ironic ("Don't Give Advice") to banal (Take care of your teeth and gums"), from quirky ("Make eye contact with a tree") to vengeful ("If someone murders your child, get a shotgun and blow his head off"). Most of the advice is good, if forgettable, and the illustrations are fun. I was sort of expecting a poetry book, but what I got was more of a coffee table book. As such, it's fine. Not worth the cover price ($14.95), maybe, but I got it as a Christmas present. -
This was a silly little book full of advice. Some of the comments were basic, like "Hope for everything, expect nothing" while others got quite silly, like "Make eye-contact with a tree" or "Do not practice cannibalism". But, by far, my favorite part was the illustrations, especially the quirky references to the Universal Monsters (Gill Man, Invisible Man, Metaluna Mutant...)
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Super short, but sweet and entertaining.
“Learn something every day.”
“Appreciate simple pleasures, such as the pleasure of chewing, the pleasure of warm water running down your back, the pleasure of a cool breeze, the pleasure of falling asleep.”
“Answer letters promptly. Use attractive stamps, like the one with a tornado on it.”
“In later life, become a mystic.” -
I expected to enjoy this book more. It's trying to hard to be funny or maybe not hard enough. Some tips are true to life and then they throw in a completely obscure one. Though my favorite was - Be honest with yourself, diplomatic with others.
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charming, strange, aphoristic
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It's the most basic advice. It's the most ludicrous counsel. It's the most poignant ideas, paired with touching and hilarious imagery. It is a must read of poetry and visuals.
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Adorable, witty, and a wonderful five-second read.
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Perfect book for a little pick-me-up and this-to-shall-pass moment.
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so cute and not really a book as much as it is a collection of illustrations. very cute and fun
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OMG...awesome.
