| Title | : | The Science of Likability: Charm, Wit, Humor, and the 16 Studies That Show You How To Master Them |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | - |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Kindle Edition |
| Number of Pages | : | 114 |
| Publication | : | First published July 26, 2015 |
How about step by step, methodical, literally foolproof approaches to just make people want you around more?
In The Science of Likability, that's exactly what you'll get. I've taken 16 of the most influential, famous, and effective psychological studies and broken them down to see exactly how you can use their findings to your advantage. Every piece of advice in this book to increase your social standing and likability factor is 100% backed by in-depth, peer-reviewed research.
It turns out that the majority of what we do and feel is determined subconsciously - even how much people like you. Ever get that feeling that you just don't like someone's vibe, but can't explain why? It's the little things that influence our psychology, and you'll learn how subconsciously make yourself seem likable, trustworthy, and intelligent.
From Freud, to Cialdini, to Pavlov, to Schachter, to Goleman, these 16 studies are insightful, analytical, sometimes surprising, but most importantly effective and actionable. They're easy to concretely implement in your daily life to level up your charm, wit, and humor.
Likability is the key to business, love, and relationships - make sure you are living your potential!
What will you learn? Well here's a preview...
- Chapter 2: How to read people like a book.
- Chapter 3: How to make friends out of enemies.
- Chapter 5: How to instantly become a close friend.
- Chapter 6: How to negotiate anything and be persuasive.
Intrigued? How about the following?
- Chapter 8: How to make people trust you.
- Chapter 11: How to make people do what you want.
- Chapter 12: How to be a leader that anyone will follow.
- Chapter 15: How to be credible and trustworthy.
Being likable unlocks the doors to everything you want in life. A better career? You better believe that the people with the most promotions and highest salaries aren't just the most qualified. Better love life? Being likable keeps you a potential date to anyone you want. Better relationships and friendships? Not only that, but you open the door to people wanting to be friends with you.
16 tested and proven ways to be the person you've always imagined yourself as.
Don’t hesitate to pick up your copy today by clicking the BUY NOW button at the top of this page!
P.S. Make it so people can't help but simply like you.
The Science of Likability: Charm, Wit, Humor, and the 16 Studies That Show You How To Master Them Reviews
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Entry level "Win Friends and Influence People" pop psych with a greasy Machiavellian undertone that makes you want to wash your hands.
Sort of like Jordan Peterson, in that the people who need it most can actually benefit from it, but well-adjusted humans will find it kind of gross. -
Well... Author likes dogs more than cats so there is no way I am giving him more than 3 stars. Other than that it was fun, short book. Haven't learned almost anything new. Still, not a bad book. Probably could of used more examples or something. It's weird because I mostly hate books that use too many examples, it's one of the few times in which situation is the opposite, it uses too few.
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Sometimes you wonder why some people don't like you and with this book you will probably figure out the reason why.
I think one of the major takeaways of this book is that it says that "Relationships and friendships are happiest when there is parity". I wholeheartedly agree with this.
Example: My friend lives on the province and I live on the capital. She always makes the effort to coming here and because she is used to doing so I take it for granted. Next time, try to go to the providence or just show her in a way that you are thankful she came all this way to visit you.
This book has nice little tips such as to not stereotype. We are all three-dimentional, complex creatures and one of my favourites is to try to agree on the small things. I never realized how important that was till now.
At the end of the book it has a cheat sheet where there is a resume of every chapter. Quick read and you'll probably find something useful that you'll want to apply to you daily life. -
A concise and practical guide to being likabile. Each advice has some psych studies backing it.
In sum: Impressions are largely subconscious, and applied psychology is useful to help bond with, convince, and appeal to others.
Summary of author's advice:
Influence mood
Being up positive memory to associate it with you
James-Lange theory:
Emotions arise from physical arousal
To read people & determine mood:
Body lang, ask questions of activity & gauge excitement
Enemy to friend
Ben Franklin effect:
Asking favors to turn enemies into friends
Mechanism: cognitive dissonance
And show you generally do people favors
Don't repay favors immediately, as that’s transactional
Balanced give & take
Subconscious accounting of value of friendships (largely emotional)
Aim for balanced give and take:
but note that we overestimate our own contributions
Friends don’t like being in debt or feeling used
Acting like a good friend
Positive transference, uses template thinking
Act like a good friend:
inside jokes, emo intimacy & support
Fake it till you make it
Negotiations
Reframe offers to emphasize what they value, so they think they win (platinum rule)
Footing in the door technique: establish agreement
Door in face technique: contrast creates humor, but risks outrage
Instant bonding
Mirroring: body lang, parlance
Ask questions to find deeper commonalities
Trust
Mere exposure effect:
Repeated exposures establish trust
But depends on level of interaction
Eg rule of seven in advertising
To enter inner circle: Stimulus-value-role theory
Stimulus: attractive
Value: belonging
Role: activities together, eg roadtrips
Endearment
Perfection elicits insecurity and envy, while flaws humanize
Show vulnerability, especially in dating
Pratfall effect:
Foibles endear us to others, as they feel more at ease & less judged
Reactance
Reverse psychology:
Use need for autonomy, taboo things are more desirable
Using devil’s advocate to convince:
Argue for otherside with weak arguments, alluding to stronger arguments for own side
Leadership
Most would rather follow than lead
Different emotional leadership styles:
Visionary leader: for indecisive moments
To convince experienced people: invite to table
Coaching leaders: vs micromanaging
Affiliative leader: seeks team bonding
Democratic: process oriented
Pace setting: for competent people seeking motivation
Commanding: for crisis
Deter Stereotyping
Provide life details, oversharing makes you 3D
Classical conditioning: associate positive feeling with you
Be a positive presence (joyful, optimistic)
Compliment others naturally, & bring food / what they like
Credibility
Is context dependent
Appeal your past exp & qualifications,
Show you care,
Show similarity (dress, parlance, mother tongue)
Be assertive (preempt & destroy counter arguments)
Use social proof: introductions bridge trust as others vouch for you
Destroyers: contradiction, hesitance & verbal tics, caught telling lies
When in doubt, leave it out: say “I don’t know”, or “I’ll get back to you”
Don’t overqualfiy, eg. “i guess”
Don’t be overly polite
Winning over the majority
Use group dynamics / herd behavior
Factors of persuasion: size of majority, closeness & important to you
implicit leaders, focus on influencers vs trying to be everything to everyone
Identify by noting who’s taking initiative & who everyone looks to -
How to evaluate this book? I'm always stuck on the fence about books like these. As a primer on the subject, I find it lacking. I'm not saying that I know a better primer on the subject of 'likability', because I'm not sure I've found a book that meets the subjects of regular persuasion, instant influence, getting people to like you, converting enemies, negotiating, etc, at the same time. Rather, on the scale in my head of books that are good primers on their respective subjects due to intangibles like depth gone into the subject, tools given, efficiency of content delivery, quality of references, novelty and total aggregate utility, this book does not stand up as a shining beacon. I'll recommend it only because I have nothing better to recommend on this specific subject (niche as it is) but I'm far from satisfied with it.
I also cannot consider it as a novel source of information, the kind of book I would read, cherish, possibly annotate, cite in an argument, but never recommend to the lay reader because, frankly, it's not written for that. This isn't original research. The author isn't a researcher, so far as I can see. They're presenting canned information from other fields and from other books, several of which I've read (side note: Cialdini is less Cee-al-dee-knee and more Ch-e-all-dee-knee, audiobook reader).
It's worth a read, I suppose, but I'm not going out of my way here to tout its benefits. It gets 4 stars for not having any grievous errors in chunking the data. -
Not a bad book, the author says himself this book works great to tie together a lot of concepts that you have likely seen before and works to embed them into your subconscious. There was still plenty of things in here that will make a ton of sense in hindsight, yet you won't have given them too much thought otherwise. I'll be looking back through this book any time I would like to further consolidate the information. It's easy enough to re-read and remind yourself of the information.
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I need ALL of King's books especially after reading this. Unfortunately, I'll need to read it again to record his practice exercises. One was regarding charisma. He said people that answer first whether right or wrong were perceived as charismatic for the their confidence. He suggested free association, open a book, any page, point to a word and rattle off five things to come to your mind. This will build your ability to free associate when presented with a question.
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The writing style of the book comes across like a term paper. Not having page numbers further added to that impression. Each chapter comes with a brief surface level reference to scientific studies, but beyond these mentions, there appears to be little substance. I found it difficult to find any content engaging, and in the contrary felt queasy about some of the borderline manipulative implications.
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Most of the book is the compressed version of Cialdini's
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion but with almost no anecdotes and almost no explanation. The book feels rushed through and does not bring a lot of new value. If someone never read Cialdini, than I can imagine that this book still can come over as entertaining. -
Easy breezy to use. It's okay clear understandable and easy way to get what you need to get liked. I choose this rating course i know the material and it's completely worth it.
Easy breezy to use. It's okay clear understandable and easy way to get what you need to get liked. I choose this rating course i know the material and it's completely worth it. -
There were some interesting ideas in this book, but overall I did not like the language of this book. I felt like I was studying how to manipulate people and it didn't feel right. I got through half of it and, regardless of being told by the author in the book that this wasn't manipulation, I couldn't get over it. Maybe I will pick it up again sometime, but I am done for now.
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Sweet and Simple
Very good book for beginners, atleast you can create good perception for you or acceptance by the people but while going forward you need more subtle techniques to crack them up, YOU NEED TO INFLUENCE PEOPLE IN ORDER TO ATTRACT THEM, stick to this fact and do your acts, and start with this book. -
Nice and quick review of many popular ideas used nowadays in marketing, politics, and self-help literature along with some of the studies backing their validity. Shallow and simplistic, of course, but good enough as a quick review.
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Interesting studies, but it's presented in a very robotic manner. That makes it a little boring to read. More like reading a research paper, than reading a book that I can relate to.
Good materials though. -
This book cleanly presents some interesting (though sometimes smarmy) tips. But there’s a lot of filler for a short book, and it’s not clear how well the suggestions are extrapolated from the science.
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It's a good book about ways to become more likable. It's not very deep and practical but yet you can learn good things.
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Good read for psychology majors and degree holders.
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A better title would be, “A Psychopath’s Guide to Humans.”
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3.5 Good short book
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Vond het niet de moeite waard.
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Great psychological study
