When a Man Cries by Siphiwo Mahala

When a Man Cries Reviews

• 
  Hloni Dlamini

  i
• 
  Unarine Ramaru

  An enjoyable easy flow read, will definitely follow the author's other work.
  
  An eye opening experience and a great yet sad account of the men that we are to ourselves, loved ones and society. The main character Themba is introduced as a likable and upright man, as the story continues he becomes a frustrating self-centered man driven by blind logic. Accusing his actions to the fault of others. Only after his 'deserved' fall begins to see his perception (which sadly is the largely shared perception by us men) of manhood is toxic. A deserved 3/5 from me. The title is best explained by this line in the last page of the book, "Crying is the expression of a true self." Men need to understand crying and feeling emotion is necessary and it doesn't make us any less of a man. A message which the book successfully brings across.
• 
  Puleng Hopper

  The setting is in Sekunjalo township Grahamstown Capetown. The story centres around the life and experiences of teacher, municipal councilllor, and headmaster Themba Limba. As a young married man, he gets to luxuriate in the benefits and privileges of patriarchy as perpetrated and condoned by society. Was it because ? "We were brought up in a tradition of not questioning norms and beliefs . I had to believe in or do things in a particular way because they were done that way by my parents and their parents before them "
  
  He then takes full advantage of the situation. Takes it to another level . He transforms into an arrogant casanova, disrespects, abuses and objectifies women, effectively so as he became powerful and influential.
  
  Some of his utterings were:
  " A man who is outwitted by a woman not only dishonours himself but also denigrates the dignity of manhood"
  
  "She was famous for her strong feminist principles and her heavy hand against men . No wonder she had not gone down the aisle"
  
  "I wanted to cry like a bereaved woman . But I am a man. A man never cries. He bows his head and listens to the pain deep inside"
  
  A well narrated story that I resonated with in terms of lived experiences and language. I loved how Siphiwo did direct translation of vernecular language to English without it loosing meaning "Age mate" ntanga. "God of our father's" .
  "Thulis family would not let the dog that had bitten their daughter and destroyed her future anywhere close to their village" Only if you are familiar with traditional wedding process, this will make sense. Thando Mgqolozana thrived on this style in his book "Hear Me Alone" He wrote of "Old eyes" mehlomadala and other phrases.
  
  The humour entailed in the narration comes in handy in creating light moments whilst tackling serious and emotive themes. Themes of rape, love, family, politics, education, community, country , sex, abuse, career, power and patriarchy.
  
  The Wordie in me picked up on the story of the SS Mendi on page 123. Further more I was tasked to stretch my mind and be a participatory reader. I was not spoon fed at all times. I had to imagine how aunt Glady's and her boyfriends murder case could have penned out. Also what mess Zakes could have further been cooking in Johannedburg . The ending is beautiful , leaves the reader to imagine what the ultimate outcome could have been. More importantly how Themba manages in the future, with his family, employer and community
  
  Discover for yourself how far Themba Limba advances. Does he become a zero or a hero ?
  
  I thoroughly enjoyed the book. Baba Jongilanga remained my hero. I loved Thandi's feminist stance. Limba remained my villain to the end.
  
  If you fancy, you can grab yourself the isi Xhosa version of the book titled Yakhal' Indoda.
• 
  Mpho Bernadette

  The making of a man is the ability to contain tears, even when they try to force their way out.
  
  The book takes the reader through the journey of a young man trying to navigate his way into manhood. The story explores various rights of passage that a young man must experience to reach the infinite stage of manhood. The main themes addressed are on integrity, sexuality, fidelity, emotional intelligence, pain, respect, loss, status, fatherhood and surviving a scandal (amongst many other things).
  
  Themba Limba is a young man, growing up in Grahamstown, who is sent to live with his maternal uncle for a better opportunity at a decent education. He forms an instant connection with his cousin Zakhele (Zakes) and they become brothers who are each other’s supporters as they grow into young men. Zakes moves to Johannesburg after his father’s death and this is the beginning of Themba’s life lessons in becoming a man. During this period, as he is faced with a test of morality and integrity, he also learns that the decisions you make at times, have an effect on your future.
  
  When Themba’s parents are killed unceremoniously, he is told to be strong and that a man does not cry. He complies with the norm and holds back the tears. Through many traumatic experiences, he is told to be strong and not to cry. Themba conforms and does not cry. Themba’s integrity is put on a pedestal as his scandalous secrets are exposed, and on one fateful day, he could not take it anymore.
  
  The book is light and has funny and painful moments. The writer is excellent at using words to paint a vivid picture for the reader. You can tell that he truly writes from the heart. The book is very short but entertaining from page one.
• 
  Tony

  The main character of this book Themba Limba begins as a likable and affable person but as the book progresses I became frustrated with him and then quite angry as he succumbs to one temptation after another. It always seems to be the fault of another, or the circumstances, or society or even God. He only begins to recognise his responsibility for his own behaviour after his inevitable fall from grace. Through Themba's story the author explores the importance of status in township life and of the tensions between the contemporary and traditional practices that face the people in the poorer communities in South Africa. Themba's decisions seem to be so self-centred but are heavily influenced by his perceptions of manhood and a man's place in society. In that context there is a blind logic to his actions. However as he starts to come to his senses he begins to revise his outlook on life and begins to think for himself, to decide for himself what makes a man. I enjoyed reading this book and will be on the look out for more of the author, Siphiwo Mahala's work.
• 
  Zozo Mogoera

  Light & very funny read. The twists were unexpected. A showcase of a full spectrum of seasons of adulthood. Happy, sad, triumphant, regrettable, top of the world, repentant, redemption... moments.
  
  He brought it home, very familiar Darkiehood.
• 
  Teboho

  Nice, easy, humurous read. The story of Themba Limba's tribulations from one end of the economic divide to another. How he has to face the consequences of his actions.
  I'll start with the negatives:
  It might be an easy read, but the jumping between the present and flashbacks got me lost at times.
  I wasn't too happy with the conclusion of the various storylines. I felt like his wayward cousin should have been brought back when we find out about the consequences of his fling with his aunt.
  Plus although it's a happy ending, the fact that we don't know whether he has contracted HIV is significant in 2004 when anti-retrovirals were not freely available in SA.
  
  But (positives) I had read three depressing books before this one in the space of one week so I was happy with the end.
  I thoroughly enjoyed the humourous narrative and I could relate to many of the characters having grown up in the Eastern Cape myself.
  Nice and short (perhaps too short).
  I'll read Siphiwo Mahala again.
• 
  Smangele Belebesi

  very light reading, you can read it on your way to work, in the toilet, on your break, during ad breaks….it doesn’t require much of your concentration!The author did a brilliant job of allowing his reader to get a glimpse into the inner workings of a man’s mind without being "preachy". As a female reader, I got to understand how men view relationships and affairs.
• 
  Leke Giwa

  Superbly written. What a talent. Africa seems to be teeming with so much excellent literary talent these days
• 
  Phumlani

  A goodread, a good story and a sad one too. Though i did at times feel like the author forgot that Themba had a car, i mean he bought it,used it when Zakes was around and after that he was seen walking up and down Sekunjalo.And also the kids, Themba doesnt talk or hang out with his kids, like when he slept with Nosipho, he was home alone because his wife liked to work late, but what about the kids,where were they?.
• 
  Ditshego Madopi

  I didn't enjoy this book as much as I thought I would. I felt like the time transition in the book didn't happen smoothly. But it was a very light and easy read with a good plot.
• 
  Baggio Luvhengo

  not bad
• 
  Olwethu Nqevu

  Reading this book has been an emotionally appalling journey. I am grateful for the insight it gave me to/about the philosophy on men not being expected/allowed to cry by societies.
  Themba Limba’s story started off very interesting. Although the interest was not lost I was shaken by the men he later became when he had power, authority and money. He became what I’d call a disappointment of a man.
  BUT his genuineness especially after he’d realized his flaws moved me to empathize with him deeply. Although saddened that it was on Nosipho’s death, a daughter he wrong too many times, I am very happy that in the end his wife forgave him and his society welcomed him back as a forgiven sinner.
  This is a story of a life fully lived!
  
• 
  Mamokete

  I thought I would enjoy this book more than I actually did. The time transition frustrated me a little, and how the stories were put together moved slowly from chapter to chapter. I personally feel like that main character was a coward for most part of the book, and wss holding on to the person he used to be, or more like what society says he should be. But, other than that the plots were good, and I enjoy a happy ending.