| Title | : | Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 0385236824 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9780385236829 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Paperback |
| Number of Pages | : | 165 |
| Publication | : | First published January 1, 1975 |
Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life Reviews
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Though I haven't read much Nouwen, my experience of this book is reminiscent of my experience of his book With Open Hands, which I read at the end of 2021.
I already feel inclined toward him for two reasons. One, Nouwen's writing has lastingly formed my dad's thinking and feeling as a Christian psychologist, especially his letters and journals. Second, I'm often dissatisfied by the responses of his fans and critics alike, a reception that I think mirrors Shusaku Endo's. Nouwen receives both shameless flak and effusive praise, and while those are seemingly polarized responses, I think they converge in their tendency to sentimentalize him. Similarly, Endo is often subject to thin, watery readings, with people swift to assume his heterodoxy, both affirmatively and censoriously.
This is not to say that I think everyone has these two men wrong, that I have finally unearthed the secrets that have remained quietly submerged. I think Nouwen is sentimental and Endo often heterodox, but I think their reputations often loom too largely for clear-minded readings. It took me several bad readings of Endo before I began to read him more maturely.
I say all this precisely because I thought this book would be too sentimental, and it knocked my socks off. It's been a while since a spiritual work so easily mapped onto my life. Already a reassuring experience, It's even more comforting because Henri writes in the acknowledgement, "this book is closer to me than anything I have written."
Nouwen wants to know what it means to live a spiritual life, a life in the Spirit. The spiritual life is, of course (though I often forget this), always life. He wants to know how we can move beyond "our inner restlessness, our mixed feelings toward others, and our deep seated suspicions about the absence of God." These are the three movements:
loneliness to solitude
hostility to hospitality
illusion to prayer
A seemingly contrived structure that Nouwen deftly holds together. It makes head and heart sense.
It would be silly to bombard this review with quotes, as the whole book has a cumulative effect. The third section only arises out of the first and second. So I'll conclude with one of his thoughts on our failures of hospitality. Nouwen captures how our gatherings—at church, at work, at home—often fail to open up our lives to one another:
"Most people keep encouraging each other to keep their body and mind in constant motion. From a distance, it appears that we try to keep each other filled with words and actions, without tolerance for a moment of silence. Hosts often feel that they have to talk all the time to their guests and entertain them with things to do, places to see, and people to visit. But by filling up every empty corner and occupying every empty time their hospitality becomes more oppressing than revealing" (73).
In constant motion and speech, we don't allow our guests the space necessary for the "[artificial] distinction between host and guest" to "evaporate." I think my friends Joel and Grace have figured out how to avoid this. Almost every Sunday, they open up their home after church, and it has become a place where "guests" can enter in and, because the space is sufficiently open, all can eventually open up their lives to one another. -
Story:
While Aryssa was away in California, I would walk to the park alone and sit on a bench beneath the trees. For two weeks I listened to the same birds, read the same book, and received a daily Howyadoing from a man walking his dog. I would end the day by calling Aryssa and reading passages from Reaching Out to her, telling her how Nouwen, more than any other author, knows my heart-cry, and that the book was doing a real number on me. Our call usually ended with her saying that she looked forward to hearing more tomorrow, after I spent more time in my "Contemplation Station" (her nickname for my bench). I loved that time, even though I missed Aryssa. Richard Rohr says that we enter spiritual maturity through great love and great suffering. While my love for Aryssa is small and my suffering from her absence was even smaller--that time beneath the trees, reading Nouwen and missing Aryssa, matured me into a more sensitive, attentive person, and I'm so thankful for it.
Review:
I won't review this book for the same reason I won't review Thomas Merton's books. They're too special to name or analyze. I consider Reaching Out on par with Rowan Williams' Being Series, Merton's New Seeds of Contemplation and Thoughts in Solitude, as well as the mystical Catholic text The Cloud of Unknowing. Those books, as of now, form the tapestry of my faith, and I recommend them to everyone! -
I've completed this, my first Nouwen book, with the conviction that I waited far too long to begin reading this author!
"Reaching Out" is a simple, straightforward, deep, and dense treatment of the inward, outward, and upward movements of the spiritual life.
The inner movement (from loneliness to solitude) involves letting go of expectations from others, and being willing to be alone. Once contentment is found there, one can act in accordance with his/her deep desires, rather than reactively and impulsively.
The outer movement (from hostility to hospitality) follows from the inner movement. If we can avoid being desperate and impulsive, we can focus on others - and create free, receptive space for them to grow. Nouwen compares hospitality to parenting - not clinging or controlling, but enabling one's development and departure. He adds that church should not be a place of coercion and conformity, but feeding. Pastors should be not people with answers, but people who are able to listen.
Nouwen claims that the upward movent (from illusion to prayer) undergirds the other two. We must identify and release illusions such as the "immortality of our stuff," and certain dreams and expectations. Instead we must strive for true reality in prayer, while also receiving it as a gift. Nouwen recommends listening to Scripture, spending alone time with God, and having a spiritual guide. He also mentions developing a "heart prayer" through meditation/repetition, as well as communal prayer, which keeps us from becoming too narrow and sectarian.
All in all, you might not agree with every little point by Nouwen, but such an approach would be missing the point. Nouwen's strength is in his balanced perspective, where he somehow is able to present both sides of every issue on a consistent basis. He follows his own advice - he is heartfelt rather than reactionary, welcoming rather than divisive, and God-focused rather than oriented toward some lesser goal.
A must-read, for anyone with an appetite for soul-searching. -
Nouwen is always good. Page 45 is one of the best things I’ve ever read.
“It is the Christ in you, who recognizes the Christ in me. […] from now on wherever you go, or wherever I go, all the ground between us will be holy ground. And when he left I knew that he had revealed to me what community really means.” -
Key idea: Nouwen teaches us how to convert our loneliness into solitude and our solitude into healing action.
First Movement: We are lonely as a society and we mask our loneliness by busyness. As Nouwen says, “We must find the courage to enter into the desert of loneliness and change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude” (Nouwen 34). Solitude allows us to listen to and enter into the troubles of others.
Love protects “and respects the aloneness of the other and creates a free space where he can convert his loneliness into solitude” (44).
Second movement: From Hostility to Hospitality
Hospitality is “a fundamental attitude toward our fellow human being” (67). It is a “creation of a free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy” (71).
Indeed, we resist these “open spaces,” those moments in which we have nothing to do
Nouwen has some good criticisms of the bureacratizing of education, though he would probably be horrified even more at today’s standardization model. In education we often give “solutions without the existence of a question” (85). Rather, the best thing I can do is a teacher is open a space for my students to grow.
Healing: “healing means, first of all, the creation of an empty but friendly space where those who suffer can tell their story to someone who can listen with real attention” (95). “We let strangers become sensitive and obedient to their own stories” (96). It is the “receiving and full understanding of the story so that strangers can recognize in the eyes of their host their own unique way that leads them to the present and suggests the direction in which to go.”
Lonely people cannot create the free spae they need. -
Some favorite quotes:
“Only few ‘happy endings’ make us happy, but often someone’s careful and honest articulation of the ambiguities, uncertainties and painful conditions of life gives us new hope.”
“When we think about the people who have given us hope and have increased the strength of our soul, we might discover that they were not the advice givers, warners or moralists, but the few who were able to articulate in words and actions the human condition in which we participate and who encouraged us to face the realities of life. Preachers who reduce mysteries to problems and offer Band-Aid-type solutions are depressing because they avoid the compassionate solidarity out of which healing comes forth. But Tolstoy’s description of the complex emotions of Anna Karenina, driving her to suicide…, can give us a new sense of hope. Not because of any solution they offered but because of the courage to enter so deeply into human suffering and speak from there. Neither Kierkegaard nor Sartre nor Camus nor Hammarskjold not Solzhenitsyn has offered solutions, but many who read their words find new strength to pursue their own personal search. Those who do not run away from our pains but touch them with compassion bring healing and new strength. The paradox indeed is that the beginning of healing is in the solidarity with the pain. In our solution-oriented society it is more important than ever to realize that wanting to alleviate pain without sharing it is like wanting to save a child from a burning house without the risk of being hurt. It is in solitude that this compassionate solidarity takes its shape.”
“We will never believe that we have anything to give unless there is someone who is able to receive. Indeed, we discover our gifts in the eyes of the receiver.” -
The late Henri Nouwen's works are always worth reading. I was surprised, however, when this book seemed to start off slowly for me. As I got into it, I realized that the first two "movements" of the book's title promise, "The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life," relate to things I've gone through some time ago (though I probably will again). The movement from loneliness to solitude is something that I've dealt with since I was a lonely / solitary child. The movement from hostility to hospitality has been a lifelong pursuit and one that I encourage now in others. But the movement from illusion to prayer got me right where I live.
As with his other books that I've read, Nouwen's writing here is full of simple wisdom, helpful illustrations, and poignant memories. His relatively early death has been a loss to all those who seek the spiritual path. -
"Hospitality means primarily the creation of free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place."
Henri Nouwen gets 5 stars no matter what out of principle!!!!!!
But even if that weren't true, it'd still give 5 stars to this book (and
Wounded Healer, I mean come on).
We love you Mr Nouwen. -
Simply beautiful. ‘Reaching Out’ has easily become a favorite of mine. Chapters 5 and 8 were particularly practical. I would certainly recommend this for anyone in a pastoral role, but also for anyone who is interested in growing in their spiritual life with Christ.
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Thoughtful and thought-provoking. I appreciate the somewhat juxtaposed realism and spirituality. Nouwen's voice is honest and therapeutic. He doesn't pretend life is easy; he responds to loneliness, hostility, and illusion, with succinct direction towards God.
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What a book! Nouwen's writing on the movement from loneliness to solitude was so convicting. A bit "disconcertingly vague" at times, as my mother would put it, but overall a wonderful little book for spiritual growth.
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Since I started reading this book I have reccomended it to over ten different people. We will be in the middle of friendly conversation and they will say something that will spark a connection to something I had read in the book and instantly I know that the answer they are looking for is found. In life there is a time where you realize the person you are and the person you want to be. This book embodies the person I want to be. The growth I want to achieve in my faith. This book doesn't provide you with an end result. Instead it acts as a guide, bringing together life examples and works from other authors to share in the journey of spiritual growth.
I've loved every second of this book. It's an easy read that expands your vision of what it means to be a christian, your idea of relationships, your view of prayer and how you interact with the world. If you want to have your eyes opened to areas of spiritual growth, this is the book to do it. -
This remarkably slim book was my first entrance into Henri Nouwen’s writing. The overall structure of the book consists of these three movements from one disposition to another, much like opposing poles on a magnet.
The first movement, from loneliness to solitude, was one of the more ambiguous ones. Perhaps it’s my deep-seated Presbyterian/Calvinist leanings that cause me to struggle with the language of “inner life” and “deepest voice of yourself”. Regardless, I do think that by the end of the movement I was beginning to understand what he was getting at with the term “solitude”. From my poor perspective, solitude consisted of creating a space both physical and spiritual in which tensions can dwell without troubling your mind. Nouwen referred several times to the modern, insatiable drive to find solutions for every problem and tension that exists in our life. Solitude seems to refer to the ability to live at peace with those inherent tensions within yourself.
The second movement, from hostility to hospitality, had some insightful connections as well, particularly hospitality’s connection to solitude. To be able to truly welcome in the stranger, a certain peace is require within yourself - this understanding that you are a fallen, paradoxical person. A lack of peace can cause you to place undue burden on the guest to fulfill unspoken expectations; which they will inevitably fail since they are a fallen, paradoxical person as well. I found this to be very helpful wisdom both when I am a host and a guest.
The third movement, from illusion to prayer, was important but not groundbreaking. Nouwen sets up prayer as the language of the believer and the church. The opposite of illusion would be reality, and prayer is the posture from which the believer and the church as a community should understand what reality is. To truly take a posture of prayer informs our understanding of who we are in light of God, to whom we pray, and to understand others. This in turn informs how we find solitude and enact gracious hospitality.
Overall, it was a good little book. There were moments of good insight and also sections of extended anecdote which I didn’t care for. I imagine I will read Nouwen again, but this book didn’t exactly increase my interest drastically. -
Nouwen was a gentle and fresh voice to hear in a year of not much theological/spiritual reading. In fact, I'm always impressed by his gentleness and humility, all while sharing deep and vital truths.
This book receives 5 stars simply because it resonated with me and communicated simple and profound truths in a very accessible way. Nouwen was sometimes vague or went on a tangent I didn't follow well...sometimes I thought he overspiritualized things and sometimes I wasn't on board fully with his conclusions. But as with talking with a good and true friend, I felt as if Nouwen was creating a space for sincere questions, seeking, pilgrimage, and community within the pages of this book. He invites readers to listen in as he shares his own revelations; he does not demand readers to cosign his doctrine or opinions. Therefore, I felt invited to see myself, others, and God more honestly through this book and Nouwen's tender offerings of wisdom.
There is much in this book that I needed to hear, and much that I know I will continually need to hear forever probably. So this review is, more than anything, a note to self: return to this book often! -
The sections on loneliness are absolute gold. The final chapter of the hospitality section is also very, very good. There's a good deal of meandering in between. Some of it needs to be chewed on for a while, particularly the last section. Another solid Nouwen book.
A few of my favorite quotes:
"Pornography...is intimacy for sale" (25).
Our superficial language of welcoming "is a language that reveals the desire to be close and receptive but that in our society sadly fails to heal the pains of our loneliness, because the real pain is felt where we can hardly allow anyone to enter" (26).
"Friendship and love cannot develop in the form of an anxious clinging to each other. They ask for gentle fearless space in which we can move to and from each other" (30).
"Preachers who reduce mysteries to problems and offer Band-Aid-type solutions are depressing because they avoid the compassionate solidarity out of which healing comes forth" (61).
"When we feel lonely we have such a need to be liked and loved that we are hypersensitive to the many signals in our environment and easily become hostile toward anyone whom we perceive as rejecting us" (102). -
I was very thankful for this energizing & thought-provoking quick read. In an age of "me-centered" culture, Reaching Out was both challenging and refreshing. Nouwen pushed me to think differently about cultivating solitude rather than accepting loneliness... which is super relevant during an isolating pandemic! His chapters on hospitality did make me long for social gatherings but were inspiring too - to keep seeking out and serving others in creative ways.
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Really love Henry Nouwen’s work but this was not my favorite. An aside, this is the 3rd book I’ve read with reference to Philippe Petit, the man who walked a tightrope between the two World Trade Centers.
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Not the Nouwen I'm used to. A little less poetic; maybe the closest he ever came to a manual for spiritual formation. Well-conceived and meaningful. 4 stars.
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I will read this book over and over again.
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Ontzettend mooi en 50 jaar later nog steeds/weer actueel
Jezus gebed stukje raakte me enorm als biddend antwoord op de klimaatramp. -
I still have yet to pick up a book by Henri Nouwen's own hand that I have found to be mediocre by any means. I first discovered this particular title as a citation in Leslie Verner's book "Invited," in which she shares her stories about hospitality. While Nouwen has a lot to say about hospitality in many dimensions, more importantly he zeroes in on three crucial movements of spiritual growth: loneliness to solitude, hostility to hospitality, and illusion to prayer. An essential work of spiritual growth for any Christian, Catholic or Protestant.
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The author speaks a lot of wisdom within this book and I like his honesty when it comes to his own journey in the practices he is speaking of. Will definitely need to read again though as I feel there was so much good stuff in it that I didn’t take it all in !!
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Five stars for the fact I read this with a black pen in my hand, finished it, and immediately picked up a blue pen to mark different things on my second turn.
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فحيثما يُرٰحب دائماً بنا لا يُكترث كثيراً لغيابنا وعندما يُأهل بأي شخص كان فما من احد يُفتقد كثيراً
وتكبر وحدتنا عندما ينتابنا الشك في ان لا احد يعيرنا اهتماماً او يمنحنا الحب بلا شروط وكذلك الامر كلما نُستغل في نقاط ضعفنا وهناك ظواهر طفيفة وكثيرة تدل علي رفض الآخرين إيانا
كما ندفن آلامنا وكأنها معدومة ، وقد جعلنا تعودنا المتزايد هذا النوع من التخدير نخاف ونرتعد عندما لا نجد احداً او اي شئ يلهينا وبالمقابل نقترب اكثر من اكتشاف وحدتنا الانسانية المتأصلة فينا وذلك عندما لا يعد لنا مشروع ننجزه او صديق نزوره او كتاب نقرأه او عرض نشاهده او تسجيل نسمعه ففي هذه الحالات نلتجئ الي اي وسيلة لمزاولة اعمالنا ومتابعة لعبتنا السرية التي توهمنا بأن كل شئ علي ما يرام بالرغم من كل مشاعرنا
فكلما هربنا من وحدتنا وسعينا الي الهاء انفسنا من خلال المعاشرة وتجربة بعض الخبرات نكون غير واقعيين مع اوضاعنا البشرية الصعبة وقد يؤدي بنا هذا الهروب الي ان نصبح اناس كئيبين يعانون من حاجتهم العميقة التي لا تُشبع ويتألمون بسبب رغباتهم وتوقعاتهم التي لا تُحقق ابداً
عندما تفقد حياتنا طابعها الباطني الخاص تنحط محادثتنا مع الآخرين فتصبح مجرد ثرثرة ولهذا لا نلتقي الا نادراً شخصاً يمكنه ان يخبرنا شيئاً لم يقرأه في الجريدة او سمعه من جاره
وكما تفقد الكلمات قدرتها عندما لا تولد من الصمت كذلك يفقد الانفتاح معناه عندما تصبح امكانية الانغلاق معدومة
وعوضاً عن الهروب من وحدتنا ومحاولة نسيانها او تحاهلها علينا ان نحميها ونحولها الي وحدة مثمرة
ومع هذا فأن العزلة ذات القيمة هي عزلة القلب التي هي حقيقة سجية داخلية او موقف ضمني لا يعتمد علي الانفراد الجسدي
ونشعر احياناً كأن نصف العالم يطلب نصيحة النصف الآخر في حين يقبع الطرفان في الظلمة نف��ها
عندما نحول وحدتنا ببطء الي خلوة عميقة نخلق فينا مساحة قيّمة حيث يمكننا ان نسمع الصوت الذي يخبرنا بما يدفعنا بإلحاح نحو ما نحن مدعوون اليه اذ لا نكون واقعيين ولا نتوصل الي اجابات نابعة منا الا اذا افسحنا المجال لأسئلتنا ومشاكلنا واهتمامتنا لتنضج وتُختبر في العزلة
اني اكتشفت في العزلة العميقة اللطف الذي يؤهلني لأحب حقاً اخوتي فكلما كنت اكثر انعزالاً كنت اشعر بحنان تجاههم اكبر
فليس من برية رحيبة وجميلة وقاحلة ومثمرة كتلك التي هي برية التعاطف والشعور بالاخرين
فالذين لا يهربون من اوجاعنا بل يلمسونها بتعاطف وشعور بالاخرين هؤلاء يأتون بالشفاء والقوة الجديدة فالمفارقة هنا ان اي بداية الشفاءتكمن في التضامن مع الالم
الصلاة هي تنفس الله فينا
الانتظار بتأن وترقب هو اساس الحياة الروحية
فالمرء بانتظاره الشخص المحب بصبر يكتشف كم سبق وملأ الحبيب حياته
في ما يخص الصلاة في عمقها لا بد لنا من ان نكون في حضرة الله صامتين وبلا نفع وفي اول الامر تكون غالباً اصواتنا الذاتية الباطنية جامحة ومدوية فنسمعها اكثر مما نسمع صوت الله ويصبح من الصعب تقبل صوت الله ونكتشف تدريجياً وببط شديد ان وقت الصمت يهدئنا ويعمق ادراكنا انفسنا والله وسرعان ما نصبح متحسرين علي الاوقات التي كنا محرومين فيها من الصمت
ان صلاة القلب غمرته بفرح كبير واكسبته بخبرة لا توصف عن حضور الله ومنذ ذلك الوقت لم يكن بوسعه الا ان يتكلم عن الله الساكن فيه اينما ذهب
عندما يمتلك الله قلبنا فان العالم بقواته لا يستطيع ان يسرقه منا وعندما يصبح الله سيد قلبنا فاننا نتغلب علي غربتنا في اساسها
وكلما اصبحت صلاتنا صلاة القلب احببنا اكثر وتالمنا اكثر وراينا مزيداً من النور والظلام والنعمة والخطيئة وراينا الله والبشرية بوضوح اكبر . اذ الحب والالم يتواجدان هناك معاً -
Doesn’t feel right to rank this one with the star-system; a good quiet read, especially the first two sections on loneliness/solitude and hostility/hospitality; Nouwen’s books repeat themselves often and also state the obvious, but I always find surprising new gems in his simple-seeming books.
Been thinking a lot about my philosophy of teaching lately, and he says beautiful things here about teacher as host, class as a space of hospitality: “A good host is the one who believes that his guest is carrying a promise he wants to reveal to anyone who shows genuine interest. It is so easy to impress students with books they have not read, with terms they have not heard, or with situations with which they are unfamiliar. It is much more difficult to be a receiver who can help the students to distinguish carefully between the wheat and the weeds in their own lives and to show the beauty of the gifts they are carrying with them.” (87)
