You Have to F*****g Eat by Adam Mansbach

You Have to F*****g Eat Reviews

• 
  Khanh, first of her name, mother of bunnies

  Sometimes I wish I had children, so I can corrupt their little minds. Imagine the evil little progenies I could bring up, especially when I've tainted them with profanity from the beginning with passages such as these?
  
  
  
  Free audiobook here:
  
  http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Fre...
  
  Listen to parts of it narrated by Bryan Cranston here:
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2co-...
• 
  Petra X is feeling lighter and fluffier

  The first time my son said 'Fuck' he was about three and we were at a very posh cocktail party full of politicians given by his snottiest auntie. Dora wanted me to help out serving stuff and I didn't want to do it. I told Daniel to tell his auntie that I was a bit busy right now. He apparently went up to her and said, Mummy says she's too fucking busy right now. He told someone else that he didn't like fucking meatballs. He said to an auntie with a very hairy chin that his mother said he didn't have to fucking kiss her if he didn't want to, and so it went.
  
  Neither his father nor I were aware of any of this until it was time to go and I told him he couldn't stuff his pockets with all the sweets from the candy dishes and he shouted loudly "I fucking hate you". WHAT!?!?!?! Dora came over and told me what he'd said as did several other people, everyone was mildly amused. His two older brothers - who weren't there - had put him up to it of course, they were 9 and 10 and had learned exactly when not to use the word (in front of the parents or anyone who would tell on them).
  
  Almost every parent has gone through something similar to this and it was really very funny although his father and I couldn't show it in front of him.
  
  But it was only hilarious the first time.
  
  So it is with this book. Adam Mansbach's
  Go the Fuck to Sleep was very funny. Yes we all use the word when our kids are really frustrating us and it was funny the first time we read it in his book, but the joke's worn off. Just like it did with my son.
  
  The book was mildly amusing. At best.
• 
  Anne

  If you don't have kids will you think this is funny?
  Hard to say.
  It's basically the companion to
  Go the Fuck to Sleep, which is a tongue-in-cheek bedtime story for parents who are dealing with young children.
  Thankfully, all of mine are now old enough that I can actually just tell them to get the hell in bed and stay there...Or else.
  I no longer have to screw around and be nice about it.
  *insert evil laugh here*
  As far as getting them to eat?
  Been there. Done that.
  And this book brought back all the memories and frustrations beautifully!
  I (like the parent in the book) was convinced that if the child in question didn't eat, they'd...well, shrivel up and die, I guess.
  Until you're so sleep deprived (see: Go the Fuck to Sleep) that you can't see straight, you can't possibly understand the mindset that would allow you to imagine starvation as the outcome of a kid who is just a picky eater.
  A picky eater who doesn't actually need that many calories to survive.
  Seriously.
  It doesn't matter that your pediatrician has already told your stupid ass that if the kid gets hungry...they'll eat.
  I've done the Food Dance, and it ain't pretty.
  Most days, none of this MOM crap is very pretty.
  In fact, this is much closer to the reality of parenting than any of the What to Expect When You're...Whatever books.
  But.
  Children are worth it.
  *cough*
  Really.
  I mean it...
  
  
• 
  Mischenko

  Another hilarious story by Adam Mansbach. This one is very similar to Go the F*** to Sleep. Colorfully illustrated and a laugh out loud story.
  
  4****
• 
  Kemper

  Do you want to hear Walter White curse at a child? (And who wouldn’t?) Then you can download this from Audible for free now and listen to Bryan Cranston profanely urge a youngster to eat something just as Samuel L. Jackson once begged another kid to
  Go the Fuck to Sleep. It’s as funny as you’d expect it to be.
• 
  Kelly (and the Book Boar)

  Find all of my reviews at:
  http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
  
  
  
  
  I know I’m super late to this party, but after spending Thanksgiving in a house occupied by a three year old, I realize there may be no better gift for parents of a toddler than You Have to Fucking Eat. It had been a long time since I’d dined with a three year old. You know what they eat? Frosting. Blue frosting. Not the cupcake, not the turkey that has cleverly been called “chicken” all day in a futile attempt to foil their little genius brain. Certainly they would never eat sweet potatoes or stuffing. But they’ll eat frosting. You know what good parents do? They let the kid eat the fucking frosting in order to save all the other guests from witnessing the morphing of a perfect towheaded angel into a poster child for Histrionic Personality Disorder.
  
  Watching our friends’ kid reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:
  
  "My kid brother hadn't voluntarily eaten in over three years."
  
  If you have kids, are planning on having kids, or will be babysitting a kid you will eventually experience the non-eating phase. You will be convinced that the child has Scurvy due to his/her refusal to eat a fruit or vegetable or that you are slowly murdering your child via Goldfish cracker since that is the only thing the little bastard will eat without having a total meltdown. You’ll call friends and relatives – seek out “expert advice” from various child behaviorists – you’ll get really close to using extreme measures in order to get some sustenance into this tiny little creature . . .
  
  
  
  
  You’ll hit rock bottom on the day you can’t even go to super shitty chain restaurants any longer because THE. ONLY. GODDAMNED. FOOD. THE. KID. USED. TO. EAT. IS. NO. LONGER. PALATABLE. TO. THEM.
  
  
  
  
  Seriously – who DOESN’T like pancakes????
  
  
  
  
  They even work as an agent to help get your kid to Go the Fuck to Sleep . . .
  
  
  
  
  And then, guess what? One day you wake up and the phase is over and eating with gusto begins again. That’s the day you get the bright idea that maybe you should have ANOTHER baby.
  
  
  
  
  I’m sure plenty of people will argue that this book is too short and way overpriced, but really? It’s pretty much perfect.
  
  Although I’m a paper kind of person, it’s hard to resist this story as narrated by “Uncle Walter.”
  
  
  
  
  Give it a listen
  here for free : )
  
• 
  ♥ℂĦℝΪՖƬΪℕÅ

  4 Fucking Eat ★'s
  
  “You woke me and asked for some breakfast. So why the fuck won't you eat?”
  
  
  I came across this on YouTube, you can watch/listen to it here.
  You Have to Fucking Eat
  
  Oh, Wow. This was some knee-slapping kinda funny right here! I'm sure most if not all of us have at one point or another said some form of what's in this book 😂... Lord knows kids can be so frustrating and sometimes a real pain in the ass to get them to eat... ANYTHING! This was very amusing and I can always use a good belly laugh. The illustrations are beautifully bright and colorful. I recommend this if you're looking for a hilarious read. 😂😂😂
  
• 
  Carlos De Eguiluz

  Sí, tal vez también necesitaba esto.
  
  "I hope you know it's super-special
  To go to a restau— Hey, back in your seat
  You shitting me? This whole menu's crap
  But a roll on the floor—that you'll eat?"
• 
  Ian D

  Απολαυστικό όπως ο προκάτοχός του. Αν μπορούσα να ταξιδέψω πίσω στο χρόνο, σίγουρα θα το έπαιρνα στη μάνα μου (ναι, υπήρξε περίο��ος που δεν έτρωγα - ωραίες εποχές...).
  Εκτός αν είστε τίποτις φάμπιουλους και σας ενοχλεί ο τίτλος ή το κόνσεπτ.
• 
  Trish

  The first book by this author is the pretty famous Go the F*ck to Sleep that was read by Samuel L. Jackson (who did a great job).
  This second book is about children's eating habits (and other things like clothes) and brought to life by the unrivalled Stephen Fry.
  
  I might have missed out on the illustrations (though I know some of them from Amazon's inside look) but the audio version was worth it as I believe it's even funnier this way.
  
  No, I myself don't have kids (yet), but that doesn't mean I don't know about some "difficulties" parents sometimes have to go through when it comes to rebellious kids or kids that are simply tired and uncooperative (no malicious intention necessary). And many parents refuse to just say out loud and in no uncertain terms what the downsides of being a parent can be so the author's contribution is not only hilarious and spot-on but also necessary.
• 
  TL

  Slightly better than the his other book...
  These are surprisingly addictive :)
  
  Narrator Stephen Fry: 5 stars, love his voice.
• 
  Rachel Aranda

  3.75 stars
  
  I loved that the narrator is Bryan Cranston! Him cursing and just talking is wonderful. He’s the main reason why I picked up the book. The story reminded me so much of my times babysitting young kids. I can only imagine what it’s like for parents of picky eaters. Makes me feel I need to apologize to my parents lolz. That being said the story wasn’t the best but for a free audiobook it was worth it.
• 
  Athena Shardbearer

  You Have to Fucking Eat!
  
  Too fucking hilarious! And Bryan Cranston narrated this one. Giving this one out for Christmas presents. Also, it's free right now till 12/12 on Audible.
  
  
  http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Fre...
   
   
  
• 
  Olivia-Savannah

  Funny and very relatable. Getting children to eat can be so difficult! Love the illustrations as well as the little nod to the first book.
• 
  Mara

  Currently FREEon Audible as read by Bryan Cranston!!
  You Have to F--king Eat!
  
  Publisher's Summary:

  Cranston (Breaking Bad, Malcom in the Middle) follows in the exasperated footsteps of Samuel L. Jackson, giving voice to the long-suffering father whose indifferent child will just not eat in this hilarious follow-up to Adam Mansbach's international best seller,
  Go the F--k to Sleep.
  Mansbach's long-awaited sequel is about that other great parental frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal. Profane, loving, and deeply cathartic, You Have to F--king Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving moms and dads (new, old, grand-, and expectant) a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem.
  
  Anchored by a hilarious performance from Cranston, You Have to F--king Eat is the perfect blend of talented voice actor and subversive fun that expertly captures Mansbach’s trademark humor. Due to its explicit language, you probably shouldn't play this one for your kids.
  You Have to F--king Eat is available free through 12/12/14.
• 
  AH

  *11/14/14 - Free audio book download on Audible*
  
  This very short little (4 minute) audio book is narrated by Bryan Cranston of Breaking Bad. He captures the true exasperation of a parent trying to get their young child to eat. You Have to Fucking Eat is hilarious and something most parents can relate to.
  
  Definitely not for the little ones.
• 
  Paul

  If you've already experienced Mansbach's hilarious 'Go The F--k To Sleep' then this is really just the same joke transposed to slightly different circumstances. For me, this second book was irresistible, though, as I'm a huge fan of Stephen Fry, and his narration is as delightful as you'd expect.
  
  Taken from my original review on Audible.co.uk
  
  Buddy read with Sunshine Seaspray
• 
  Dee

  too funny again 😂 laugh out loud funny. This man could literally write about any situation regarding kids ways and it would be an instant hit. I hope he does more of these books this just couldnt get old lol
• 
  Nouru-éddine

  That's fanfuckingtastic!
• 
  Ɗẳɳ 2.☊

  Here's the follow up to the hugely popular
  Go the Fuck to Sleep, or what I like to call the Hangover II of audio books. What made the first installments so funny was the fact that they were original. This one, much like that uninspired movie, simply rehashes the same old script, same old jokes. Hey, let’s just slap a new location (problem) on it, and call it good.
  
  Granted, Sam Jackson's reading did add quite a bit to the first book. I mean just the thought of Mr. Mother Fucker himself reading to a child made it quite hilarious in and of itself. Here though, I had to listened to Stephen Fry. Would Bryan Cranston’s version have been funnier? Yes, I'm sure it would. How much though, who can say?
  
  Here's some suggestions for the next several installments. Put Down that Fucking Phone. Fucking do Your Homework. Clean Your Fucking Room. Take This Fucking Medicine. Stop Hitting Your Fucking Brother.
  
  Let’s have Jerry Seinfeld & Bill Cosby reading. Oh my goodness, two clean comics reading dirty? Hilarious! Instant classics. We’ll make a fortune!
  
• 
  Agnė

  DISCLAIMER: This is a review of an audiobook.
  
  Adam Mansbach’s poem “You Have to Fucking Eat” is a cathartic ode to so many parents who are so damn exhausted trying to make their little ones eat normal meals at normal times. I absolutely loved this grown-up poem because it is hilariously accurate and, even in its explicit version, it somehow still manages to sound cute. And the best part yet: it’s brilliantly narrated by Bryan Cranston, better known to many as Heisenberg from “Breaking Bad.” Honestly, I like this poem even better than Mansbach’s preceding international bestseller “Go the Fuck to Sleep” and I prefer Cranston’s narration over Samuel L. Jackson’s (Jackson was the voice for the first book).
  
  VERDICT: 5 out of 5
• 
  Kaethe

  I played the audio of this for my kids and we all laughed ourselves silly. It may be repetitive, but hey, what about raising children isn't?
  
  Available free from Audible
• 
  Chris Haught

  Awesome. Mansbach knows kids, yes he does. This kind of thing brings back memories....
  
  And Cranston as a narrator, excellent. Almost as funny as Samuel L. Jackson was in the first book.
• 
  Jason McKinney

  This is as good as the first one; maybe even a teensy bit better. A lot of this is my life!
  
  My favorite stanza:
  
  You're not finished, and no, you can't go to school
  
  In pajamas, a hat, and bare feet.
  
  Whatever, put shoes on and bring me your plate,
  
  My whole diet's the shit you won't eat.
• 
  Adriana Scarpin

  Particularmente não gosto de audiobooks quando os livros impressos são ilustrados, parece que fica faltando alguma coisa, mas tenho que confessar que a leitura dramática do Bryan Cranston compensou e muito qualquer coisa. Divertidíssimo.
• 
  Lori

  I held no allusions that it would surpass its predecessor, or Samuel L Jackson's amazing narration, but it certainly held its own.
• 
  Renee

  Ok, so when this book was offered to me through the Book Depository’s Book Review Programme, I have to admit that I was very curious. I had, of course, heard of the first book by the same author, Go the F**k to Sleep, and I jumped on the opportunity to grab a copy of the second book in the series, You Have to F**king Eat so I could see what the fuss is all about.
  
  You Have to F**king Eat is designed as a rhyming picture book that features a number of frustrated Dads trying to”encourage” their child to eat the food they have prepared. The children depicted in the book range vary by gender, age, and race – so that’s one positive thing about the book. The illustrations are bright and cheerful and are actually quite child-friendly. It really has the look and feel of an actual picture book. Of course, to be clear… this is 100% an adult book!
  
  So, let’s begin with an analysis of the theme… I, for one, can relate to food battles. While this certainly improves over time, all parents will be able to relate to their children turning their nose at foods that they once loved; or demanding their favorite for dinner after the meal is already on the table; or how there ends up being more food on the floor than their tummies; or kids come back from school with their lunches untouched. Yes, these themes are all too familiar and the author does put a humorous spin on them.
  
  The first issue I have is that so much of the book doesn’t even make sense:
  
  

  If we were both pandas, I’d know what to feed you,
  But seafood is scary, we’re leery of meat.

  
  
  I could not make sense of this sentence at first and I eventually chalked it up to poor grammar. How about this one?
  
  

  The sloth and the lemur, the chipmunk and cheetah,
  The slow and the sleek and the fleet
  Share one thing, my love: they make less of a mess
  Than you f*cking do when they eat

  
  
  How are the first two lines even related? The fleet? What? I don’t get it (other than the author had to find some way to rhyme the second and fourth lines)?
  
  Let’s address the swearing. Yes, this book is for adults – I get it. Yes, I have felt the same level of frustration with my children’s eating issues – I get it. But, let’s face it, the author just did it for the shock value so he could make money off the books. This series of books are a total gimmick. While I may feel some frustration with my kids, the inner dialogue is not even close to what goes on in my head. Actually, the book left me feeling quite disturbed.
  
  To be honest, I don’t know what to physically do with this book. First, I don’t want it in my house because I don’t want me children to stumble upon it. I also don’t want to gift it to anyone because I cannot think of one person who would appreciate this type of humor. I also can’t donate it to my school library nor the public library. What the f**ck am I supposed to do with this book now?
  
  My Bottom Line:
  
  You Have to F**king Eat is worth a chuckle or two and I’m sure parents will be able to relate to many of the scenarios depicted in the book. That being said, the book is largely a gimmick and is not particularly well-written. I recommend that, if you are curious, browse through a copy at your local bookstore. Frankly, I found the book somewhat disturbing.
  
  * This book was provided to me by the Book Depository’s Book Review Program in exchange for my honest review. All opinions expressed are my own. *
• 
  Renee

  The sequel to
  Go the Fuck to Sleep.
  I got this free from Audible. It was narrated by Dave Hughes, who did a great job.
  I giggled all the way through. A picture book for adults. It's written in the style of
  Time for Bed but about eating, and with lots of swearing.
• 
  Empress Reece (Hooked on Books)

  Now this was even better then Go the F*@% to Sleep! : ) I think because I related to it more and still battle with my youngest son about eating breakfast, eating healthy, and not waiting until 9:00 pm to decide he's hungry, etc. etc. : )
  
  Mansbach's books are a definite must read for anyone with kids.
  
• 
  DeeTimes' Nook

  Listen to this audibook here:
  
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0Vou...
  
  and it was quite cute and entertaining for 'adults' but the cuss words... now really but still "You Have to Fucking Eat"... read by Stephen Fry!