| Title | : | Die, You Zombie Crackers! (Splattire Series Book 2) |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | - |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Kindle Edition |
| Number of Pages | : | 120 |
| Publication | : | First published October 2, 2014 |
Die, You Zombie Crackers! (Splattire Series Book 2) Reviews
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The deep, dark woods. They can be scary as hell, especially for the folk that live and love in 'em. Making moonshine and selling moonshine and drinkin' moonshine are all anyone ever cared about... until it happened. Even in the back woods, the yokels weren't safe from no undead poxalips. The dead done come back to life, bad 'shine bein' the cause, and it is up to a small band of hillbillies to stop them new kind a' zombies from killin' everybody. Four rednecks stand between a horde a' un-living rubes and the rest of the world. Only they was brave enough to say, "DIE, YOU ZOMIBE CRACKERS!
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I received this in exchange for an honest review but I have to say that Die You Zombie Crackers may not be enjoyed by traditional horror fans and that's okay because there are fans out there who are just like me and like an occasional b-rate horror film that pokes fun at the horror genre. If You're easily offended or have no Sense of humor then you Should stay away from this book. It takes everything you think you know about zombies and chucks it out the window.
It takes the piss to the Zombie mythology gives It a redneck makeover, The quest to make better moonshine leads to the Zombie apocalypse. These aren't Your average every day heroes and that's Where Zombie's shines. Despite Bob being stupid you can't help but like him even though his stupidity was what created the zombie horde. You Can tell that the writers had a lot fun writing this, and that also makes it fun to read. For those who are easily offended you may want to skip this but honestly you're missing out on a great book.
Hayes and Scioneaux haven't really added anything to the zombie mythos that anyone can use but in creating Die, You Zombie Crackers they have created a masterpiece of bizarro/horror. Without a doubt this is easily one of my favorite novels. For those looking for something a bit different you should pick this up. -
Beautiful one liners like, ” Now, let’s kick some zombie ass,” and ” Get your hands off my woman, you zombie bitch!” are not the only appealing qualities to this duo’s piece of work. Between the redneck town and it’s residents, the lesbian zombie leader, the toxic moonshine, the ridiculous rompings of unlikely redneck heroes….well heroes is used loosely, and the point of contact used to destroy the moonshined zombies (not the head….least not THAT head) this hillbilly, backwoods, ignorant undead, tale of dominance and territory through moonshining is pretty fucking spectacular.
Meet Billy Bob, the towns vinyl sheep fucking (Hey she has a name!…Gladys….) stiller of the finest moonshine around. Billy Bob is the only provider of the sweet nectar to town folk until newcomers Rufus and his sister Anna decide to run him out of business with a moonshine recipes that rivals Billy Bob’s. Refusing to let this brute run him out of business, he confronts Rufus, and after a devastating brawl, Billy Bob is left bleeding and limping away by his best pal Crazy Al, broken but not defeated. He owes his ability to walk away to Anna, who rushed to his side and kept Rufus from finishing him off. This heroic gesture left Anna not only on Billy Bob’s mind but he on hers. Needless to say, Rufus is not too keen on his sister falling for his competition and when the towns people aren’t showing up for their daily dose of his liquid product, Rufus knows who to blame.
Meanwhile, on the open road, we have Zeke and Frankie. Two redneck lackeys sent on a mission by the boss to dispose of some barrels containing,…something…they don’t know…and they don’t care, that is until one of the barrels pops open and green ooze is revealed leaking out. Well of course, this prompts one of the redneck idiots to dare the other redneck idiot to taste the shit. Everyone has their price and apparently $100 is enough to ingest some seriously toxic looking green goo. This clearly does not go well for our idiots, and seconds after consuming the goo, Zeke doubles over in excruciating stomach pain and becomes our first redneck turned redneck zombie (which lets be honest…the transformation is not THAT extreme for these rednecks).
After being beaten and humiliated in his own town, all that’s on Billy Bob’s mind is how to get back at Rufus and reclaim his territory that even Anna knows is rightfully his. When he and Crazy Al stumble upon a mysterious green glowing goo, Billy Bob with his friends support decide that this would be a perfect addition to his moonshine in order to outshine Rufus. Cause ya know, mysterious green goo found in the woods should def. be digestible….
It’s not and soon the townsfolk are turned into raving zombies bent on using the goo and their lesbian leader, Leon, to grow in numbers and essentially make a redneck zombie army. It’s up to Billy Bob, Crazy Al, and Anna to defeat the zombies, but unlike the movies a blow to the head does not kill these fuckers. At least not a blow to THAT head anyway….
This short read was super fun! I've read CANNIBAL FAT CAMP from these fellas, and they're a match made in literary heaven. I’ll more than likely seek out more of their work. -
I saw this book and immediately knew I had to have it. The cover is brilliantly done to make it look like an old Goosebumps book from my childhood complete with false creases. Once I began reading I couldn't wait to finish it. I've read a great deal of zombie books and this one reinvents the traditional zombie rules and redefines the genre. Hayes does an excellent job of keeping the reader guessing as to what will happen next while still bringing the twisted (and often disturbing) wit that he's known for. I've picked up the first book in the series, Cannibal Fat Camp, and I can't wait to read it as well.
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This is a great way to spend an hour or two. If you're looking for high brow literature, well...get the fuck away from this book. I mean seriously, read the title! Does it SOUND like deep lit? Hell no! Does it sound like fun? Fuck yeah! And it is. But don't take my work for it....get the book and read it yourself! I love the splatire series, and this doesn't disappoint. Funny, short, and disgustingly gross...just like a B-movie in book form. That sounds awesome, doesn't it?
