Women are Scary: The Totally Awkward Adventure of Finding Mom Friends by Melanie Dale

Women are Scary: The Totally Awkward Adventure of Finding Mom Friends Reviews

• 
  Meredith

  I think I am too advanced in my parenting years to fully appreciated this book. I became a mother at 23, when most of my friends were either still in college or just wrapping up their formal education. When I took my kids to the park or the library, I was the youngest parent by several years. This did not make for "mommy bonding." Even now, when I'm friends with many parents who have kids the same age as my teens, I'm still the "young one" compared to most (which, frankly, is kind of awesome when your 40th birthday is closer than you want to admit).
  
  My foray into the parenting world has been a mix between hanging out and learning from parents who have years of life experience on me, or trying to relate to my college and high school friends raising preschoolers. In some ways, though, I'm glad I did it this way because the Mama Drama Melanie Dale writes about it just too much. I'm all for forming friendships with other mothers, but does it really take so much effort that we should approach it like dating?
  
  I've met some incredible parents through school events, extracurricular activities, volunteering, killing time in the school parking lot, etc. I've also met parents I knew right away I would not have anything in common with and that's OK.
  
  (Well, maybe it wasn't that one time I texted my husband from a PTA event that I felt like the girl in middle school who didn't have anyone to sit with at lunch. But I'm over it now. Really.)
  
  Dale is right when she writes that navigating friendships as a parent is tricky. My advice for moms searching for mom friends? Limit the amount of parenting talk you do. Every child is different. What works on one kid won't work on another. Not every part of your parenting philosophy will mesh. Instead of letting that destroy what could be a great friendship, focus on each other, not your offspring. After all, mothers deserve to have a life, too.
  
• 
  Chantel

  I follow Melanie's blog (
  www.unexpected.org), so like thousands of other women who read the post that inspired this book, I knew Women are Scary would be both poignant and hilarious--poignant because she speaks truth and hilarious because, well, she's Melanie Dale. She likens finding mom friends to the traditional dating metaphor of rounding the bases on the baseball field. Melanie encourages women to embrace their inadequacies, even while forgiving those of the other women in our lives. She's transparent about her own weaknesses and in the process shows us all how to make them work to our advantage. In my own life, I felt the most isolated in terms of my friendships when my kids were very young. I wasn't working, and my four small children were very demanding. Getting out proved difficult, if not impossible, most days. I had to learn how to be intentional with relationships, and mostly just get over myself. I wish I would have had a book like this to reassure me that I wasn't alone and that there were other women out there just like me! The Women are Scary book outlines some practical steps for forging meaningful relationships. It even includes real stories from real women from all over the country. Finding mom friends is an adventure, and it doesn't have to be awkward. It might be a little scary, but only because we remember how friendship used to come so naturally and now that we're older and our lives are busy, it just takes more work. I read this book in two days, laughing out loud over and over again. You will especially enjoy this book if you are a new mom or a working mom or a mom who just wants to develop deeper relationships with the people she already knows and loves. It's not all sunshine and roses, though. There's also a chapter on breaking up, which is never easy, but sometimes necessary. As an added bonus, Melanie includes ways to engage with the broader community to make the world a sweeter place to live. Read the book, and discover that women are anything BUT scary.
• 
  Nicole Smith

  This book totally surprised me! I thought the cover was funny so I grabbed it off the library shelf on my way out (always risky). I debated reading it because I don't really have problems making friends and consider myself an outgoing person. But I was drawn in from the first couple pages by her writing style, love of God, amazing one liners, and hilariousness. Seriously such a funny book. It made me think more about the friendships I have, the ones I wish I had, and what I was going to do about it. It made me realize that we can never have enough 'momlationships' and need them as much as we need anything else. They really help us be better mothers as we create safe places and communities of love. It's important for our emotional health and it's important for our kids to see us socialize. And it makes life more fun! A great read. I would recommend this to anyone, whether you think you need it or not!!
• 
  Kim Thompson

  Disclaimer: I am friends with the author.
  Truth: I loved this book. It's hilarious and oh so honest and a good read.
  
  Melanie knows women are scary. They are intimidating and mean and callous. And they're all afraid of each other. But we shouldn't be and she points out ways to make friends and put yourself out there in her book. She goes over the four bases of dating, a baseball reference that she admittedly doesn't really get, but nonetheless fits her analogy. She references science fiction movies and TV to her nerdy heart's content and throws in a few book quotes too. While she's a Christian and has a few Bible verses, she isn't pushing an agenda on you. Melanie writes with a genuine heart for women and just wants to share what she's learned over the years since becoming a mom in a way that makes you feel included. She even gives you a full frontal hug from the opening pages.
• 
  Jenny

  I was disappointed in this book. I thought from reading the excerpt that it had been written by a woman who had experienced difficulties in making other female or mom friends. The author seems to not have any trouble making friends at all. I just didn't feel like it was written by someone who could understand my perspective. I guess I did learn a few things, but it just wasn't exactly what I was looking for.
• 
  Sara

  Enjoyed Dale’s sense of humor in her writing. I was laughing out loud at times. This book seemed geared more for moms of babies and toddlers, so it didn’t really speak to my current life stage.
• 
  Sunflower

  Witty.
  Filled with catchy cultural references.
  Insightful.
  Candor about the difficulty of meeting "Mom Friends".
  
  "Women are Scary" dives into the "complicated" world of women/mom friendships in light of a transient society despite the prevalence of social media, making developing new friendships, particularly in the life change of becoming a mom, often seem scary for many women.
  
  Just making friends period as a mom or not is a scary enough proposal, unless one is either lucky to have the personality where no one is a stranger, have grown up with a long term friendship or through work or school, have the opportunity to make friends, but for many, navigating this road is often filled with drama, misunderstandings or in some cases, non-opportunities.
  
  Now the traditional suggestions have always been, go to the park, go to the library, volunteer, but it's often taking things to the next level of just saying "hi" to actually beginning the steps to finding friends that is difficult for many to sometimes overcome.
  
  In comes Melanie Dales book, "Women Are Scary"; A book that is filled with chapter headings such as:
  "A Complete Lobotomy of the Heart", "Trolling for Moms", "Wield Your Weirdness Like a Boss", you can easily tell this book was written for moms....or moms that are just plain weird. No, don't worry, it's written for all moms who have found themselves faced with the ultimate challenge: interacting with other women.
  
  Written by a Christian, Melanie Dale, fills the book with personal anecdotes, encouraging Scripture that is a reminder of how we are to interact with others and a very upbeat, cheerful voice to help the discouraged mom know that not only is she not alone, but there is hope when it comes to interacting with other moms and well, just women.
  
  There's thirty-two chapters, broken up into 5 parts, making up a total of 240 pages, but don't pass out thinking this is going to be a boring reading.
  
  "Women are Scary" is a great mix of humor, encouragement, serious insight (but not too serious that doesn't make this book more academic, but rather a "Yes, I totally can relate to that, thank you so much for sharing")work that helps encourage the discouraged in all of us that finds ourselves in situations, maybe we are a first time mom, we have had to move for the uptenth time,whatever is the reason and we now find ourselves eyeing a book, whose title beckons us to read and navigated the sometimes not so fun adventure of trying to make friends.
  
  The book reminds me a bit of the movie,"Moms Night Out", but for the mom whose looking to find her friends that she can have a "Moms Night Out" with or at least another adult that she can be herself and talk with and gets where she is coming or going.
  
  Melody offers down to earth insights that range for instance from how to meet moms, in the chapter, "Trolling for Moms"
  
  "...figure out who your people are,then start trolling", to how to have small talk if you happen to be allergic to small talk.
  
  The illustrations that are found throughout the book are cute and honestly hilarious that any mom could relate to in some form or way.
  
  At the very end, she offers resources for moms that are worth checking out and I really like how in the chapter, "The Mother Network", Melanie talks about the importance of developing a support system to be like a rah-rah cheerleading team for each other.
  
  At the end of the day, any type of friendship takes a lot of heart, humility and work. It can be done and it's always possible no matter what stage of life one is in at that moment.
  
  "Women are Scary" was a great read that I would recommend to first time moms who may find themselves in a new town or just wanting to connect with other moms and don't know how, maybe you are in a new stage of life and finding yourself having to start over, no matter what it is, this is a book to take the time to read.
  
  You will laugh. You will cry. You will find yourself going, "This.Is.So.Me".
  
  It is a book every mom, no matter where she is in life, should read.
  
• 
  Virginia Garrett

  bookcover-flatAs long as there have been women writing books there have been books about the friendships of women. Dee Brestin wrote one a number of years ago, Lisa Whelchel wrote one a few years ago. I've read most of them. I've learned from them too. None of them have impacted me like Women are Scary by Melanie Dale.
  
  Melanie Dale. I had never heard of her before seeing this book. Intrigued by the title, I picked it up. And honestly, I thought it would be another one of those books. You know the ones, books that lead you to believe the whole world has this figured out and you're the only flunky.
  
  I could not have possibly been more wrong. I LOVE this book. Note the use of the present tense verb, I love this book. Present. I will come back to this over and over because in the pages of this book I found a new best friend. We can just forget that she has no idea who I am, just like I had no idea who she was and that I live in the plain states and she lives in the South. I felt my spirit mesh with her. I found myself repeating "oh my! Me too!"
  
  Women are Scary is a book about Momlationships. We all have them. We all need them. We all crave them. Yet, we're all unsure how to pursue them. And is it really okay to pursue and date other moms?
  
  Really!
  
  In this book, you will laugh. You will cry. You will shout, "ME TOO!!!" You will relate. You'll find yourself hungry for more momlationships. You'll gain the courage needed to reach out to other women. You'll gain ideas for deepening friendships.
  
  I can not begin to recommend this book enough. I just can't. I was in our bookstore over the weekend and found myself gushing over it to two of the ladies working there. Gushing. Telling them repeatedly how much they needed to read this book.
  
  It is full of life stories, silliness, and truth. It has practical advice, advice you would seek out from a best friend. Melanie doesn't pull any punches, but she speaks with grace and a whole lotta humor.
  
  
  
  So visit her web page linked up there, visit amazon.com or your local Christian bookstore and get this book. You'll thank me and you'll gain a brand new best friend.
  
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKnlV...
  
  I received a free copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of review. All opinions are my own.
• 
  Callie

  I just finished reading Women Are Scary: The Totally Awkward Adventure Of Finding Mom Friends by Melanie Dale. I think it’s funny that I have read two different friendship books so close together (the other was Heart Sisters), because it gives me a chance to compare them. If Heart Sisters was a guide to deepening your friendships, I think this would be more of a guide to forming friendships. Dale takes you through that awkward first phase when you know nothing about each other with humorous tips on how to take your “mom dating” friendships to the next level.
  
  I think the subtitle does describe some of my feelings about this book pretty well - I felt like much of it was awkward. Dale uses a dating, first-base, second-base, etc. metaphor to describe the different stages of forming friendships with other moms. That was just an awkward comparison to me to start with, and Dale’s sense of humor thrives on awkward, so the awkwardness was just emphasized. If you like that kind of humor, you probably would love this book. For me, I thought the dating comparisons bordered on inappropriate at times, especially in today’s world where references to homosexuality abound. She wasn’t suggesting anything of the sort in the actual meat of this book, but that’s why I found it hard to relax and enjoy reading it. Plus, I’m just not a potty-humor kind of person, and those jokes are prevalent. Dale self-identifies as “gross”, so you can get an idea of some of the humor.
  
  That said, I did think a lot of the situations and movie references in the book were funny! I thought there were many useful tips and inspirations for making friends scattered throughout, as well as just commonsense advice about how to handle certain difficult situations with friends. Her stories were hilarious, and if you have ever had an awkward friendship moment, you can read this book and know you are not alone. It made me think about and appreciate the friends I have who have stuck with me through all these stages, and it was good inspiration to put the effort in with some ladies I haven’t known as long. I’m not sure I would necessarily recommend this book just because of some of the humor, but it kept me interested and I did enjoy it.
  
  Note: I received a copy of this book for free from BookLook in exchange for this review - this is my honest opinion.
• 
  Amy

  I found out about this book from my alma mater's magazine. Melanie Dale just so happens to have graduated from the same college I went to and was featured in the magazine. Denison has many things to be proud of and Melanie is a great addition.
  
  This book has so many references in it that I can relate to about making mom friends and the way in which Dale writes cuts straight to the chase and really brings out her quirky personality, nerdy and sometimes gross references. I felt like I knew her by the end of the book and could call her up and talk to her about my child or anything else for that matter. She makes references to bases when explaining the steps of "momlationships" from 1st to 4th. (She admits she is the least athletic person she knows and that there is no 4th base in baseball but she made it her own!). Each base has its own set of rules and
  
  There are references to the bible as well but they are not shoved down your throat nor do they feel preachy. If anything they are incredibly appropriate and are good bits of advice no matter what religion you may follow.
  
  There is one quote that I really like because it is something I have to deal with as an army wife. "I learned to beware the super good listener who soaks up all your details but doesn't reciprocate. Vulnerability is a two-way street."
  
  The chapters are nice and short and made for great reading while nursing. The author herself even told me in an email that she had that in mind when writing the book which was awesome not only because she responded to my email but because it made the reading experience that much better. I didn't want the book to end but fortunately, Melanie Dale writes regularly on her own blog and on other blogs too.
  
  I highly recommend this book to all the moms out there looking for a good fast read. You are bound to relate to at least a few things she mentions.
  
• 
  Laura W

  Women are Scary is about how to make friends as a mom. Melanie Dale shows the stages of female friendship ("bases"), with tips on when and how to move onto the next "base". She shares stories along the way that are relatable and usually hilarious to illustrate her points. She is honest about how sometimes relationships fizzle out in first or second-base, and how a third or fourth-base relationship break can be painful and heart-breaking. Included are tips on how to survive a break-up, heal from the past, and try again. Bible verses are sprinkled throughout to back-up her perspective, and movie quotes kick-off each chapter.
  
  I loved this book. I read it in 2 days, and laughed out loud at least once per chapter, and sometimes multiple times a page. I could totally relate to her weirdness and sense of humor, as well as her oversharing tendencies, infertility struggles, and desire to save the world, one orphan at a time. I appreciated her honest struggles in making friends, the great tips for how to meet moms and how to recover from failures. More than anything, I was thankful for the laughs, and felt like she and I could be fourth-basers, if we only lived in the same area. I began to think of the women in my life, and what base we are on, and which ones I might be able to take to the next level, and which ones I might just need to let die a natural death. I thought about which friendships we could make couple friendships with, or at least give it a shot.
  
  I recommend this book to any mom who has trouble with friendships or needs a good laugh. I'm pretty sure that if you are a mom that you would fit into at least one of those categories, so check it out!
• 
  Elizabeth

  Women Are Scary by Melanie Dale focuses on the totally awkward adventure of finding mom friends.
  
  It started off so promising. Sentences jumped out at me.
  
  Learning how to bless each other and not destroy each other.
  
  All of us come to motherhood by different paths and choose different methods. Some things we choose and some things are chosen for us.
  
  The humor was funny. Much like my own. But then it seems that Melanie tries too hard to bring the humor and it become more awkward than funny. "By third base, I'm full-frontal hugging, so prepare for that. If you're my third-base friend, get ready for our boobs smashed up together while I ask how you're doing right in your ear." Funny, or over the top?
  
  I honestly couldn't tell if this was meant to be a comedic tale on finding mom friends or an actual how to book on the subject. I stopped reading mid-way as it no longer held my interest.
  
  This book was sent to me by BookLook Bloggers in exchange for my honest opinion. See my whole review at
  http://www.trenchesofmommyhood.blogsp...
• 
  Sharee

  The thing about having a dry sense of humor, as I do, is that rarely can something make me break out into a full blown, side splitting laugh. Women are Scary had me giggling right into a snort! What an amazing book about the ups and downs of friendships between women. I want a copy for every one of my friends! Melanie Dale shares her personal experiences with her marvelous sense of humor, while expounding on the importance of community.
  
  The book touches on areas from being the new mom in town to dealing with painful mom breakups. She even tosses in a section about Bromances! All the while, she keeps a Christian perspective. Anyone who has ever thought Christian books are boring has never read Ms. Melanie Dale.
  
  Women are Scary lays a truthful foundation while giving women the push needed to step out and make some new connections. It is a book that will make you smile, laugh and definitely want to pass a copy along because it is just too good to keep to yourself. Women are Scary gets a five out of five stars for sure!
  
• 
  Noelle Kelly

  I know you are wondering how I even get to read right? Well, I have been MORE intentional about reading books that pertain to my life or that are edifying because, goodness, I need to feed this brain of mine, you know? While I might not get the chance to read something in a day or two, I make an effort to read a chapter a night or a good portion before going to sleep instead of watching to television
  
  One of the new books I recently finished is called Women Are Scary: The Totally Awkward Adventure of Finding Mom Friends by Melanie Dale. I was SO intrigued by the title and loved the cover picture that I knew I needed to finish this book especially when I found out that the author is a blogger herself.
  
  Continued here:
  http://singerskitchen.com/2015/03/wom...
• 
  Tiffany

  Didn't love this book. We are reading this for book club, otherwise I may have never picked it up. I have friends that have absolutely loved it, so there is certainly that potential. The author provides 4 "bases" of "momlationships". Kind of like dating, but with other moms. I just couldn't really relate with the author. Maybe if I was more like her? There were moments I nodded my head and agreed, but never the out-loud laughing I had been promised. Does this change how I view relationships with other moms? Not really. Wish I could review it otherwise.
• 
  Molly Grimmius

  Really this gets 3 1/2 stars...super funny author....I laughed a lot with all of her movie quotes, hilarious quips, over exaggerations but in reality the truth as we moms know it, funny dialogue. Plus it is hits the truth that find friends as an adult and as a mom is hard and sometimes SO awkward but TOTALLY necessary too. Some parts I was like really I don't think I need help figuring out how to find a mom...or talk to them...or break up with them...so I just skipped the parts that didn't pertain.
• 
  Trace

  2.5 star rating.
  
  I spied this in a box of book donations (I'm organizing a used book sale for my son's school) -so I borrowed it to read.
  
  There ARE some true nuggets of wisdom within these pages..however you have to really dig for them....and it is covered with corny and at times vulgar humor. The humor was cute for the first couple of pages, but it wore pretty thin a couple of chapters in. Not my cup of tea.
  
  
• 
  Heather

  I loved this author's humor and total sci-fi nerdiness. I guess I felt like the middle section of the book went on a bit longer than I needed, or maybe I just felt depressed because advice about getting to third or fourth base (play dates at each other's houses and dates without the kids, respectively) with mom friends isn't really realistic during a pandemic.
  
  Also, maybe I was a little mad that the author loves to sit all day and is a champion sitter. If I sit all day, I will end up in horrible pain, hunched over like a wizened potato bug. Feeling some jealousy here.
  
  I felt a bit inadequate reading about all of the awesome things that mom-friends-of-faith were doing together... and maybe a bit not ready for upbeat, super positive god talk. There wasn't anything that the author said that bothered me theologically, just...
  
  ...well, it's been almost four years and one take-home baby later, but faith-wise, I have not been able to shrug off the loss of my first baby. I can't make it work in my mind or my heart. So, the peppy god talk just landed wrong for me at the moment.
  
  Another thing--I think the author said she's an introvert, but I am an introvert, and I can't imagine cultivating the number of mom friends it sounds like she does. The book's advice in general is good for when you wanna do that, but I don't really get maintaining acquaintance-type friendships for very long. I don't have a lot of energy, so there's a fine line for me between "acquaintance who has third-or-fourth-base-friend-potential" and "waste of time." Maybe that's harsh, but that's how I roll.
  
  It's a funny book, though. I would recommend it to sci-fi nerd moms who like burping and need some good tips on how to obtain and retain mom friends.
• 
  Kathryn

  This was pretty easy to read, and, though her humor is exactly the same kind I prefer, it was lighthearted and fun. A lot of what I got out of it seems a little obvious after the fact, but it was all good reminders for me. My major takeaways were:
  - being yourself is the best way to make genuine friends, even if you feel like you’re weird
  - giving others the benefit of the doubt is always a good idea
  - having strong relationships outside of marriage can strengthen you and your marriage
  - everyone feels intimidated and like an outsider sometimes, don’t be afraid to reach out with kindness and don’t be discouraged if someone else isn’t interested
  - there are lots of ways to make the world a better place through service and donations, and doing service together is a great way to get to know other women
  - everyone’s kids are badly behaved sometimes
  - when you feel like falling apart, try pairing a drink, movie, dessert, and scripture together that match your mood (this was random, but also I thought a fun idea to match food + movies + scriptures, haha—now I’m dying to try it!)
  - look outside the box for ways to get to know other moms, like lunch meetups, walks, grocery shopping, service activities, etc.
  Overall, I got some good reminders out of this book and, though I thought it ran a little long, it inspired me to try to be a better friend, and be better at seeking new friends / deepening friendships I have, which was a good reminder for me :)
• 
  Jen

  Momlationships for dummies. ❤️
  
  This book was brilliant! It's like momlationships for dummies. Granted, this took me 4 months to read this bc life just got crazy. But i felt like with every chapter i read, it gives me hope that i will find my fourth baser! Seriously though... Finding mom friends is exactly like dating. Haha! Thanks for the wonderful, inspiring and entertaining read!! ❤️❤️
• 
  Patsy

  I think this engagingly written book is a good guide to finding and maintaining friendships when a mom is in a certain stage of life. Now 68 years old, I remember craving conversation with other moms. Now, I don't crave that, but I still have a need for friends. In addition to the specific purpose of having young mom friends, this book had many good ideas and validating concepts about friendship in general, which will be helpful for me.
• 
  Amy Merritt

  1 star feels pretty cold, but she just went on and on and on. It could have been a blog post, but she turned it into over 30 chapter. Yes. 30. I was so ready for it to be over. She is also probably a very funny outgoing person in real life and she tries really hard to transfer that to her book and it just comes across as trying WAY too hard.
• 
  Alex

  What shall I say? The beginning is nice, the first chapters too and in each of the four bases you find funny stories to make you laugh. But it starts to repeat itself really quick and after a certain point I was just reading quickly but not with full attention anymore. I can imagine this as a blog – a sequence every week – but as a book it is not really interesting to read.
• 
  Jessica Hermiller

  Nice concept, thought there would be more to it beyond the basics - it would have been nice to see something from a working parent's perspective beyond one chapter. Or having kids earlier/later in life than your peers.
• 
  Steph Cherry

  This is a funny book about mom dating. It puts it all in to perspective and helps us deal with life without fear. There are goofy parts and parts with depth. The part about mom breakups hit home. It’s good to know we aren’t alone on this crazy road. It’s an easy read to cheer your mama heart.
  
• 
  Stacy

  Melanie offers many ways to start and build 'momlationships' in a world that can feel isolating. She shows the joys of community with others, and the struggles too, and underscores the importance of inviting others into your life. Melanie is quite funny, authentic and easy to read
• 
  Keisha

  This book was just what my momma heart needed. So much truth weaved with lots of laughter and tears. Melanie's way of writing is easy and fun to read. She gives hope and challenges you all at once!
• 
  Caity Gill

  Hilarious and accurate.
• 
  Jill

  The best mom book I have ever read. Humourous, insightful. Truthful.
• 
  Erica

  It's not just about making mom friends. It's about being a woman and surviving and thriving as a mom, and teaching her full potential as a woman of God, not "just a mom ."