| Title | : | Percy Jacksons Greek Gods |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | - |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Kindle Edition |
| Number of Pages | : | 417 |
| Publication | : | First published January 1, 2014 |
Percy Jacksons Greek Gods Reviews
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FINISHED THIS AND LOVED IT! Here's my review:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBm6K... -
4.5 stars
Reasons to read Percy Jackson's Greek Gods to your kids (or let them read on their own without any parental censoring):
1. R-rated action
There's rape—in so many forms! Zeus ravaging Demeter as a cobra, Poseidon ravaging Demeter as a horse, Hades kidnapping Demeter...'s daughter, Persephone to be his wife and play footies with under the covers. Actually, throw zoophilia in there too.
And incest! Zeus married his sister, Hera; Hades married his niece; Poseiden bumped uglies with his sister... the gods make Game of Throne look tame.
There's also cannibalism, murder, thievery... if that doesn't make you the favorite parent, I don't know what will.
2. It's family-friendly
It is middle-grade after all and Riordan does a fantastic job of covering up some of the, ahem, nastier bits. The word 'rape' is only ever mentioned once and is used in context of a mortal. When the gods do it, it's delicately written as "so-and-so got his way" or "so-and-so got a little too cuddly with the unfortunate other so-and-so".
The incest is bluntly mentioned, but Percy spins it by saying the gods don't view relationships the same way humans do, which is valid. Hell, they're gods, they can do whatever or whoever they want.
3. There are Public Service Announcements
In a book where no punishments are awarded to the main characters, that is, the gods, there has to be some preaching to mold the minds of the impressionable young who will, for once, be quiet while they devour the passages of Ouranus devouring his kids. There's the usual: no drinking until you're 30, don't have sex in temples, eating your kids will cause your wife to plot your demise, etc.
But what I love best is the overarching feminist themes.
With goddesses themselves being violated left and right, I think a little education would be beneficial. Percy also comments on how unfair it is that the goddesses weren't invited to the meeting to decide who rules over what. Veterans of the Percy Jackson series already know that Riordan is capable of creating strong, intelligent female characters and equally as strong and intelligent male characters who don't necessarily feel the need to remind everyone of his masculinity or top his female companions. Percy is a fantastic example of the latter:"Back in the old days, the writers (who were all guys) would say, "See? This story shows you that women are troublemakers! It's all their fault!"
Epimetheus and Pandora. Adam and Eve. The blame game has been going on for a long time.
Zeus got his way. Afterward, Kallisto was too ashamed to say anything. She was afraid it was somehow her fault. Pro tip: if you're attacked by a creep, it's never your fault. Tell somebody.
4. It's hilarious"I am king of the universe!" [Ouranus/Sky] bellowed. "How could I not be? I am literally above everything else."
“He was also the god of (take a deep breath) commerce, languages, thievery, cheeseburgers, trickery, eloquent speaking, feasts, cheeseburgers, hospitality, guard dogs, birds of omen, gymnastics, athletic competitions, cheeseburgers, cheeseburgers and telling fortunes with dice. Okay, I just tossed in the cheeseburgers to see if you were paying attention. Also, I’m hungry.”
“I mean, five gods in one stomach—dang. That's enough for doubles tennis, including a ref. They'd been down there so long, they were probably hoping Kronos would swallow down a deck of cards or a Monopoly game.”
Need I go on?
5. Percy's narratingSome girls might've asked for front-row tickets to the hottest boy band concert, or a date with someone awesome, like, I don't know, Percy Jackson, or somebody. (What—it could happen)
Yes, that's a reason.
If you're a beginner at Greek mythology or eager to become someone's favorite aunt/uncle (and get crossed off their parents' Christmas card list), give Percy Jackson's Greek Gods a try. The sole reason I knocked off 0.5 star was because I'd read all these myths before in their true, uncensored glory as a child(insert image of nine-year-old me grinning as Kronos chopped his dad's balls off), and even Percy's special brand of snark couldn't put a new enough spin on them to fully earn my interest. But for you, my dear untainted soul, prepare to have your mind blown.
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I love Rick Riordan; he just has a gift that anything he writes is very readable. I liked this book, as well.
However, I do have pretty good knowledge of Greek mythology; I sometimes found this slightly dull. Still, it got the Percy Jackson vibes to the writing and everything. So, I would say that overall, this is 3 and a half stars for me. -
SO FLIPPING GOOD!!! Percy is a hilarious narrator, as you would expect, and hearing about the Greek Gods from his perspective is so interesting! I listened to the audiobook and I HIGHLY recommend it!
Note: don't read until you've read PJO and HOO - there are references to those that could be considered spoilers. -
PERCY IS OUT HERE PREACHING AND I LOVE HIM EVEN MORE NOW. GOOD JOB SEAWEED BRAIN. -
Percy please be my teacher please please please please please please pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Teacher: Does anyone know something about Greek Mythology?
Me (after reading Percy Jackson's book):
I wrote it many times, but one more time: You don't find better book about Greek Mythology than those from Rick Riordan. He should definitely write all text books, because he would turn studying in something you will enjoy. In this book you get to know main Greek Gods in a hilarious way, which can provide only Rick's writing style.
She (Tethys) ended up marrying Oceanus, which was kind of a no-brainer. 'Hey, you like water? I like water too! We should totally go out!'
My personal favorite narration was suprisingly about Hades and Hephaestus, not my favorite Apollo. That one was actually the most boring.
Hera pushed her bowl away. 'And where is your son Pelops?'
'Actually,' Tantalus said, 'that's him in the stew. Suprise, you idiots! Ha, ha! Ha, ha!'
Honestly, I don't know what he was expecting. Did he think the gods would chuckle and slap him on the back? Oh, Tantalus, you old kidder, Good one'
I didn't want to read it at first. I thought it will be another boring book about Mythology, but no.
I enjoyed every chapter, every page!
If you are in a bad mood, read it. It surely cheer you up. I highly recommend it and I swear it's not waste of time and you will not regret. -
Vale, pues esto lo acabé de leer hace unos tres días, pero se me había olvidado actualizar Goodreads, así que aquí va la reseña :)
¿Cuándo un libro de Rick Riordan me ha decepcionado? NUNCA. Es decir, creo que no puede haber algo mejor, más gracioso y más divertido de leer que los mitos griegos clásicos contados por Percy Jackson y sus habituales sarcasmo e ironía en un punto perfecto. Yo soy una sucker para todo lo relacionado con mitología y, por lo tanto, estoy muy enterada de los mitos y sé en qué partes a Percy se le está yendo la olla contando algo, ¡pero eso lo hace aún mejor! Está claro que este libro no pretende ser una guía académica que puedas consultar en lugar de ir a los mitos originales, sino que pretende ser una versión muy auténtica PercyJacksonianamente hablando(?), jajaja. Pero, mira, dentro de todo, las versiones de los mitos de creación y de los momentos más altos y bajos de los doce Olímpicos no están nada mal y se ciñen bastante a lo tradicional.
A mí me encantó encontrar guiños sobre la trama de los libros a medida que Percy narraba algún deliz de Ares o los melodramas de Afrodita, pero lo que máááááás me gustó fue el tipo de personalidad que le imprime Percy a cada dios. Es decir, claro, por los mitos clásicos nos podemos imaginar a Zeus como un tipo fortachón, serísimo y muy mujeriego, pero aquí Percy/Rick le da un tono muy propio de Don Juan, de esposo atemorizado por que su mujer lo agarre y, encima, un poco despistado... ¿o será que finge demencia? Jajaja.
En fin, por último, no puedo dejar de mencionar los momentos épicos de Percy narrando cosas en plan: Y sí, Hera se presentaba como una diosa hermosa con ojos de buey... pero, ¡hey!, no juzguen, que aparentemente en la antigua Grecia tener ojos de buey era bonito. No sé, había muchos comentarios así y yo me partía de la risa leyendo. -
Pre-Reading Review: (Real Review included below :D)
Do I really need to elaborate how this book will deserve more than 5 stars? Because being a Percy Jackson and basically a Rick Riordan fan, we 'know' how awesome this book is gonna be. But if you really wanna know why, here are some reasons-
1. Book Cover- FANTABULOUS COVER! Seriously, The cover says all! How can you not just get the urge to peek inside a little after seeing the cover of this book?
2. Percy's POV - Percy Jackson, who being a modern world teenager, has a sarcastic yet easily descriptive point of view, with scenes so well elaborated that even a five year old child can imagine them well. Plus his witty comments win the hearts of millions of his fans!
3. Greek Mythologies - Greek Mythologies, without a doubt, are one of the most famous mythologies. Honestly, I didn't know much about Greek Mythology (an understatement really :P) before reading Percy Jackson & Olympian Series. So, I'd love to know more!
Waiting for the book eagerly!!!
Real Review or Post-Reading Review
What did I tell you??? *virtually elbowing you right now* You're welcome By the way :D!
Alrighty, SO This book has Just officially BLOWN my mind. I mean, come on, could this book be more Awesome than that, in any freaking way?? This was the HEIGHT of EPICNESS!
This book gave me EVERYTHING I hoped for and SO MUCH MORE! I craved for Knowledge- I got so much of it I think my head is going to explode (nah, not really, but you know what I mean.) I craved for Percy's sassiness- we get to enjoy that so much that I still can't contain my smile whenever I remember a quote from this book. I desperately wanted to see the illustrations- and they were just Marvelous.
The most important part is that we get to actually observe the Greek Gods in their days. Before this book, whenever I read Heroes of Olympus series and the Demigods would say that Gods are so dangerous and stuff, I would be like Psshh... They're okay! They're not that scary as demigods think. But now...uh, not so much. If I was a demigod, or even a mortal that somehow got involved in the world of Gods, I would be pretty much running away from them, because they're DANGEROUS! I mean, seriously, no wonder Demigod life is hard!
Some stories were so intriguing, like Athena's. Some were a bit emotional, like Hephaestus and even Dionysus (the wine dude!). And yeah, some were pretty gross too; but thanks to Uncle Rick they were actually pretty funny to hear (but no, I'd rather not see those incidents in real life). And some of them were soooo sweet, like the Hades and Persephone love story (I did some countless 'Awwwwws' during that). All in all, this WHOLE book, Was a bucket full of AWESOME!
So, once again, Thankyou so so so much Percy Jackson for writing this one (of course he gets the credit, right?). I bet there must be many difficulties, which most likely includes Gods and Monsters, but just keep being Awesome like that! And if possible, write more.
Olympians Rulez
P.S.- Psst, Uncle Rick, how about Jason Grace's Roman Gods? *wink wink* -
I was first introduced to Percy Jackson over eight years ago and my love for this series and Rick Riordan has only grown over the years. When Rick Riordan announced that these books were finally getting their own series, I sobbed and jumped in joy. These books and these characters mean so much to me!!
I was determined to reread the entire series but a few moments later, the idea seemed slightly daunting. And then my gaze landed on this book in my bookshelf and I realized that even though I'd bought it six years ago, for some reason I never got around to reading it.
And so I finally read it and loved it and felt like I was thirteen again, engrossed in the world of Greek Gods and the shitstorm they always seem to be brewing. Greek mythology narrated by Percy Jackson is the only way I want to learn about the subject. No one can do it better.
So, obviously, it deserves all the stars! -
Dragged a little bit at times since I already knew most of these stories from the series, just not as expansively detailed. Still pretty entertaining.
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Me tomó mas tiempo del que creía terminar este libro, a pesar de que tiene como narrador a Percy Jackson que tiene un humor muy fino y una forma de narrar historias cautivadoras, sentí que el libro es muy lento.
Lo primero que hay que decir es que este libro no es una historia en sí, por lo tanto no hay que esperar llegar a algún punto específico o seguir una trama como tal. Este libro son muchas, muchas historias sobre los dioses griegos (como su titulo lo dice), son principalmente cuentos clasificados por dioses, por lo tanto como un repaso de historias de mitología y los dioses griegos esta perfecto, principalmente si eres un pequeño y quieres leer/conocer todos estos mitos de una forma muy divertida.
A mí personalmente, este tipo de libros me aburre un poco, me gusta mas cuando hay una trama y personajes con los que encariñarse y por los que sufrir, sin embargo entiendo perfectamente el punto, este libro es una enciclopedia de mitos griegos, y como tal esta muy bien. -
I didn't connect with this at all. The humour that I enjoy in the Percy Jackson books just bugged me in this. I guess I like my mythology to be a little more serious. Before long I was having to grit my teeth a little as I pushed through and I was relieved when I finally finished it.
The insert of artwork by John Rocco were gorgeous. I may buy the larger, full-colour version of this, as I feel more of his art would elevate the book for me. -
![Hershey [[stay in my memories]]](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/users/1642054551i/120168821._UX200_CR0,6,200,200_.jpg)
I wanna scream about how great this book is but I also want to act civilized. I took a toss and 'Civilized' won. Unfortunately. If you want to ask me about the greatness of this book, I will be too busy laughing about the humorous events in it. So, don't!
Rick Riordan has made me see the Greek gods in such a way that I will never be able to look at them the same again. No book will be able to change by view on them unless it is written by Rick.
The Plot
The book starts with Percy narrating the story of how the Earth was created and how Gaea and the titans come into existence. How Titans overthrow their father Ouranos and rule the world, how the gods were born, how the gods overthrew the titans and we go into depths with each of the 12 Olympian gods/goddesses along with Hestia, Persephone and Hades.
We learn almost every thing there is to know about the Greek gods and goddesses. The way the story is conveyed is entertaining and humorous. Come on! This was written by ‘Percy’! I would not expect anything less.
The Writing
Did I mention the ‘humour’ part? I did? Who cares? I brought proof for it.
“He was also the god of (take a deep breath) commerce, languages, thievery, cheeseburgers, trickery, eloquent speaking, feasts, cheeseburgers, hospitality, guard dogs, birds of omen, gymnastics, athletic competitions, cheeseburgers, cheeseburgers and telling fortunes with dice. Okay, I just tossed in the cheeseburgers to see if you were paying attention. Also, I’m hungry.”
“Hermes played a little Mozart and some One Direction, and Apollo cried, ‘I must have it! The girls will go wild for that!”
“In the beginning. I wasn't there.”
“Excuse me, have you seen Death? Big guy with black feathery wings? Likes to reap souls?”
“He was proud of his "hometown" goddess, even if he hadn't found his one true pairing (OTP) yet.”
“ZEUS SUX and TYPHOEUS WUZ HERE.”
The writing is totally Percy-ish
My thoughts
I adored this book. The whole ‘Greek gods’ thing is simplified here. This book is really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really AWESOME!
READ IT MORTALS OR ELSE I WILL KICK YOU TO TARTARUS! -
Rezension:
https://youtu.be/Nm9lDT2X6zs -
Oh, so much fun.
I am an ardent PERCY JACKSON fan. And I don't care if Rick Riordan is milking a cash cow here by spinning out...er....spinoffs.
I will read them all.
Percy Jackson telling the tale of the Greek Gods, or to be more precise, his sincerely powerful and definitely dysfunctional family is pure gold. In vintage Seaweed-Brain style, the treatement of the Gods is irreverent, bordering on cheeky and utterly lacking in blind adulation. Percy tells it like it is.
From Gaia who probably invented the first swear words to the gentleness and wisdom of Hestia to Demeter going grainzilla on amorous men to Hera being Hera (with a dash of jealousy and revenge and scary punishments) to Hades channelling his inner Japanese Manga Emo to Poseidon being a likeable bloke with quite a few barnacles in his closet to Athena being wise but prone to professional rivalry to Aphrodite being the Olympian version of high-school MEAN GIRL - LEVEL 1 to Ares and his nucleur bursts of passion and cowardice and adultery to Hephaestus and his mother-issues to hand-me-a-pair-shades-he-shines-so-bright haiku spouting Apollo to Artemis who had her priorities in place (stalkery creeping men, notwithstanding) to Hermes who spent his first day being born by stealing cows and chomping them down wih Steak sauce to Dionysus who invented the very first wine press to the grand poobah himself, Zeus (or as Percy's refers to him....ol'ThunderPants) and his many MANY affairs;
Percy spills all.
I was snorting gleefully over lines like:
"His big claim to fame was that the Golden Fleece - that magical sheepskin rug I'm related to - ended up in his kingdom, which made the place immune to disease, invasion, stock-market crashes, visits from Justin Beiber and pretty much any other natural disaster."
A must-have for all Percy Jackson fans and a fun introduction into the world of Greek Gods.
(And oh!....it had a tiny *WHEN Percy Jackson MET Carter Kane* short story at the end. Which was rather endearing. And definitely grist for the Riordan myth factory) -
After finishing the Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus series with my sister, we were having rick riordan withdrawals so decided to pick up this book. This book tells the story of the twelve olympians (and some extras), as written by Percy Jackson himself. Some beautiful illustrations by John Rocco were also sprinkled through.
For what it set out to do, Percy Jackson's Greek Gods was perfect. It was educational, while still being able to capture the attention of readers, however young (my sister is 10 for context). It was funny, but still talked about important issues that are present in the mythology (such as consent and misogyny).
Having the book be 'written' by Percy Jackson was truly a stroke of genius. It lent the story a modern, relatable view for readers and helped to make the information more accessible. It was told with Percy's signature sarcasm and humour. But even if you haven't read anything else by Riordan, you can definitely get things out of reading this. While some things are paraphrased and exaggerated by Percy, it is obvious and apparent to readers.
The fun thing about this book was it blended the lines between non-fiction and fiction. Its purpose was both to inform and entertain, through telling stories. I came out of it feeling that I was more knowledgeable of the Greek Gods, and had a stronger grasp on some of their backgrounds.
Fair warning: I can definitely acknowledge that this style will not work for everyone. For those who already know a lot about these gods, or prefer their mythology to be told in a serious way- it may come across as childish and annoying. If you know you are one of these people, do yourself a favour and pass on this one.
But if you like learning, while simultaneously being entertained I cannot recommend this enough. It is also the perfect book to gift to a younger child who has some interest in greek mythology as it is definitely pretty PG. -
This is easily the best book of Greek myths ever! It was interesting, I learned a lot, and best of all, it was narrated by PERCY. FREAKING. JACKSON! All the sass we know and love was back and better than ever! Also, THE FUNNY CHAPTER TITLES YESSSS! Words can't describe how much I miss the chapter titles in the Heroes of Olympus!
All the stories in this book were so well put together, which in itself was great, but they were so funny! It's rare I didn't grin really big at least a few times a chapter. I mean come on, gems like these are what make life worth living. Let me put down some good ones:
"A mass-murdering psychopath who plays the lyre? It doesn't get more charming than that!"
You can't swing a cat in Ancient Greece without hitting one of Zeus's ex-girlfriends."
"If you plan on living forever by sticking the god of death under your bed, you're out of luck."
And the chapter titles! "Demeter turns into Granzilla" Zeus kills everyone" "Ares, the manly man's manly man." "Apollo sings and dances and shoots people" SO MUCH GREATNESS. SO MUCH!
This book was so fun to read, and tided me over for a couple days during he AGONIZING WAIT for The Blood of Olympus. Definitely pick up this book, if only for Persassy's sassy sass! Good luck in the rest of the wait for BOO, fellow Demigods! -
Author's Writing Style: 5 stars.
Character/s Development: 5 stars.
Plot/Story: 5 stars.
Done reading PERCY JACKSON'S GREEK GODS. This is a no ordinary Mythology book ridiculously narrated by Percy Jackson, mainly in first-person-POV in past tenses. In 21 chapters, Percy Jackson opens the stories of the 12 popular Greek gods with Gaea. She is the Mother Earth goddess who needs to sleep all the time to protect the planet from calamities, wars and famine.
The story of Hephaestus moves me to tears. He is the creative god of fire and metalworking who is conceived by Hera without any father. Born ugly, Hera kicks him out the Olympus. Revenge in mind, Dionysus decides to talk with Hephaestus and help him bury the hatchet, "... you can't hold a grudge forever. If you bottle it up, well... even the finest wine eventually turns to vinegar. Did your revenge make you feel any better? (Chapter 16, page 301)" -
I haven't laughed so much reading a book in a while. This was so refreshing. I love Rick Riordan, and Percy obviously haha
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Han pasado ochenta mil años pero por fin he conseguido terminar este libro. Y mirad que me duele darle esta puntuación a Rick Riordan, pero es que ha sido un coñazo.
No sé, yo cuando leo un libro de este señor espero que sea algo ameno, ligero y que me haga reír. Pero este libro era torrentes y torrentes de información que ni siquiera era gracioso. Creo que sobran muchas cosas en este libro, idk. Que a ver sé que no es una novela como tal (ni esperaba que lo fuera leyéndola) pero le falta ritmo. Algo que haga que la cosa tire para delante, como en Héroes Nórdicos.
En fin, que no me ha gustado este libro. Coñazo total, el que menos me gusta de todos los que he leído de Rick Riordan. Pero bueeeeeeno, algún día tenía que pasar esto. See you soon, tito Rick. -
Adoré este libro. Percy contando las historias de los dioses fue una experiencia en sí. El humor y las referencias a la cultura pop fueron unas de las cosas que más me gustaron.
Reseña completa en Gracias a los Libros. -
So goddamn excited about this it's unreal.
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I've read all the Percy Jackson books, and the Heroes of Olympus series, so thought I'd enjoy this. I did.
Rick Riordan took on a mammoth task in compiling this book, with so many myths and legends surrounding Greek mythology. This is a great introduction to the twelve main Gods of Olympus for middle school children, with enough of the gore and violence left in to keep it interesting. By managing to stick solely to the main Gods, Riordan manages to keep the stories within the book on track, without getting bogged down by various side Gods, nymphs or hero quests. This allows the narrative to stick quite rigidly to a set pattern, which as a reader I certainly valued. I've read a fair few books now on Greek mythology, and although not the most comprehensive, this is certainly the most readable, and is easily accessible to readers on all levels.
The only downside for me was Percy as the narrator. He's rather unreliable at times, and embellished some of the stories more than necessary. After a while this became a little tiresome. This might appeal more to a younger audience however.
I understand that there's also a heroes book written in a similar vein, which I'll be sure to look into. -
This book was very informative (I learned so much!) but was also fun to read and had a lot of the distinctive Percy Jackson writing style from the original series.
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I wake up every morning and think: You know what would be good today? Not dying.
I really liked this novella about the greek gods because i got to learn even more about then than i can in the main series and having Percy narrate this is even better.
One thing that i really enjoy about these books is how much history that Rick has gone through to make sure these are as accurate as they can possibly be for a middle grade series and it always makes these books more than just learning. Hestia, Demeter, Persephone, Hera, Hades, Poseidon, Zeus, Athena, Aphrodite, Ares, Hephaestus, Apollo, Artemis, Hermes and Dionysus are the main focus in this book as there are way to many different gods to but into just one book so i'm glad it was just a selected few.
My favourite three gods are Apollo, Artemis and Athena all for different reasons but my most favourite one out of them all would have to be Athena because she is just smart and knows how to be direct with everyone.
I also enjoyed the little backstory each god got before there little adventure began and i can always count on Rick to make these stories more interesting rather than just spit out the facts of each god.
Overall i really enjoyed this little extra bit of story and i would recommend this to any Percy Jackson fan who either wants more out of this story or just wants to learn about the greek gods. -
Can Percy narrate more books? I mean if it wasn't for him this book wouldn't be as fun as it was and I mean it. Before this I "tried" to read the Kane Chronicles and I didn't even get to finish the first book because it was so dense and no humor whatsoever. And I'm in a tough place so humor in books is a must.
Oh and I know there is Greek Heroes and I hope it is narrated by Percy.
Okay for now bye, see you soon. *starts to read the next book tomorrow * lol okay bye -
By the gods, I missed Percy's narrative so much that starting this book I almost physically started hurting from the rainbows that developed in my tummy. I pretty much loved The Heroes of Olympus, but third POV just didn't suit Percy at all and I think he missed some of his magic that way.
Seriously, could you imagine this:"...First I'll tell you how the world got made. Then I'll run down a list of gods and give you my two cents about each of them. I just hope I don't make them so mad they incinerate me before I-
AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Just kidding. Still here."
...in 3rd person POV? It just doesn't fit.
Now.
About the book: It's in Percy's narrative. Need I say more?
But seriously, if you read The Heroes of Olympus and Percy Jackson and the Olympians, or just the latter, you know you have to read this. What better way to learn about that adorable, dysfuctional family based on incest and gods know what else than by having its wonderful descendant pointing out to you the bad, the worse and the worst about this lovely and tight-knitted family of immortals?
You are right. There is no better way.
With chapter titles like:
→ The Golden Age of Cannibalism
→ Demeter Turns into Grainzilla
→ Ares, the Manly Man's Manly Man and
→ Hermes Goes to Juvie
And scenes like:"Fine. Let's see what you've got, old lady!"
"Oooooo," said the crowd.
"What I've got?" Athena shot back. "The little girl from Lydia's going to show me how to weave? When I get through, this crowd's going to be using your tapestries for toiler paper!"
"Burn!" said the crowd.
"Oh, yeah?" Arachne sneered. "Must've been dark inside your daddy's head if you think you can weave better than me. Zeus probably swallowed your mama just to keep you from getting born and embarrassing yourself."
"Snap!" the crowd yelled.
And:Every so often Typhoeus would stomp on the earth, open a huge crevice, and reach inside to pull out some magma-like yolk from the inside of an egg. He'd throw fiery globs of lava all over the earth, setting fields on fire, melting cities, and write burning graffiti on the sides of mountains like ZEUS SUX and TYPHOEUS WUZ HERE.
And we can never forget Percy's daddy, the powerful and wise, Poseidon:"Hey, girl," he said, wiggling his eyebrows. "You must be the riptide, 'cause you sweep me off my feet."
Let's just say that the assembly of those powerful and wise immortal gods that people used to worship, weren't working so right in the head and they're definitely more stupid than we thought and, of course, deserve those little nicknames that Percy made for them, like Old Thunderbritches *cough*we all know who we're talking about*cough*.
To end this crazy review , I'm just going to close it with Percy again, because I fucking missed him that much.We've covered most of the major players. You probably know enough now to avoid getting zapped into a pile of ash if you ever come across any of the twelve Olympians.
Probably.
Me, I'm late to meet my girlfriend. Annabeth is going to kill me.
Hope you enjoyed the stories. Stay safe out there, demigods.
P.S. If you ever get any nightmares, remember to smack your fist on the floor and yell, "Hades, tell your stupid daimons to knock it off!". It's probably their fault. -
Already giving it 5 stars because I read the first chapter and it's hilarious xD You're going to love this so much.
http://chbwiki.tumblr.com/post/801278... (Introduction)
http://chbwiki.tumblr.com/post/801308... ( I )
http://chbwiki.tumblr.com/post/801311... ( II ) -
Wäre es nicht in dieser schrecklichen Möchtegern - Jugendsprache geschrieben worden, wäre es ein glattes 5* Buch gewesen. Aber so MUSS ich 1* abziehen! :"(
