Inanimate Things: Volume One by Stephen Rhoades

Inanimate Things: Volume One Reviews

• 
  Joseph

  Inanimate Things: Volume One is a delightfully batshit anthology of short horror stories centering around—you guessed it—inanimate objects. It’s a fun and weird collection that has a bit of horror from all over the spectrum.
  
  These are not, however, the ancient tomes, cursed amulets, haunted dolls, or other MacGuffins endemic to horror stories. We’ve got rugby balls harboring demonic—possibly cosmic?—powers, sentient iron lungs, coma patients, wooden companions come to life, and more. Every author in this collection gets creative.
  
  A few standouts for me:
  
  “The Maul” by Chelsea Pumpkins—Taking place after tragedy struck during a high school girls rugby game, the students try coming to terms with the violent (possibly supernatural) events. This one opens the collection and has maybe the most crazy/cool concept of the bunch.
  
  “Echoes of the Iron Lung” by Brett Mitchell Kent—Narrated by an (almost) obsolete iron lung who desperately just wants to be heard, this story had the collection’s most creative POV.
  
  “Normal” by Justin Hunter—Oh boy. This one played on one of my absolute worst fears. A conscious coma patient realizes that his caretakers might not have the most benevolent motives (to put it lightly). The most genuinely frightening/disturbing story in the collection.
  
  “The Year of the Cruise” by Alan Bax—What if H.P. Lovecraft rewrote David Foster Wallace’s “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again”? This story was an absolute weird blast but did fall victim to one flaw a few stories in this collection also had (discussed below).
  
  “The Ocean at Night” by Stephen Rhoades—Did you ever wish that Lars and the Real Girl was retold as a horror story? Or that Pin was even more psychosexual? Like it or not, editor Stephen Rhoades has contributed a story that shows what that might look like.
  
  However, this is just personal opinion. There are no badly-written stories here and you may find you have totally different favorites.
  My one knock on this collection is that some of the stories here didn’t always quite seem to fit the theme. Such as “The Year of the Cruise,” mentioned above. There are a number of inanimate objects that might have been the central one, but I couldn’t really tell. The author more than makes up for this by writing a super fun story regardless, but still, it and a few others left me scratching my head looking for what I was supposed to be focusing on.
  I definitely recommend Inanimate Things: Volume One for fans of diverse, creative weird fiction. There’s something here for every horror fan. Bring on Volume Two!
• 
  Jordan

  'Inanimate Things: Volume One' is an interesting collection of ordinary objects going rogue. It's a great lesson in being careful how you treat the things around you (living or "dead") because something might just take exception.
  
  Let's talk the standout: "The Detective" by Jason Fischer. This gave me the skin shivers....it hit so many notes for me and is exactly what I look for in a collection! The scene with the toenails...beautifully horrifying. I don't even want to know what my face looked like the whole time I was reading it! I'd love to see this expanded! I have so many fun questions about the cobbler, the people that he's "helped" and what happens to them. I could very happily read a whole book about this!
  
  Another one that blew me away was "To Kill a Clown" by Victor Aldritch. I hate clowns, plain and simple, and these ones were right on par with everything that gives me the creeps about them. They were very "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" but terrifying, and I hated everything about it (in the best way)!
  
  I could easily see the statues in M.J. McClymont's "Wire and Flesh" being an SCP, so that was a really fun nod to something I loved growing up. They reminded me a little of SCP-173, but with some added features. I'm going to give any statue I come across a wide berth now, there's no telling what will happen otherwise....
  
  And, of course, I would be remiss without mentioning Stephen Rhoades' "The Ocean at Night." The ending was almost nostalgic in a way I wasn't expecting, and I've not read a more perfect ending to a collection that this. This is another one that I'd love to see expanded and made into a full novel with a quirky cast of characters, a "found/made" family, and that watercolour, nostalgic ending!
  
  All in all, I really enjoyed this collection. I did feel that a few of the stories weren't as successful at integrating the theme as others, but they were still great stories on their own! Burial Books Publishing is relatively new on the scene, but if this is what I have to look forward to from them, then they've gained themselves an instant fan!
• 
  Horror Reads

  This might be the first great horror anthology of the year. It's a great blend of traditional, speculative, and gruesomely weird horror. There's something in here for everyone no matter what type of horror you enjoy. Or, like myself, just enjoy each one for what it is. There's no weak stories, that's for sure.
  
  In this collection we have pirate zombies, killer sex dolls and wooden toys come to life on a murderous rampage, dolls made of mesh and wire that will steal your soul and take over your body, and a shoe repairman with special "gifts" for certain customers. Many more also.
  
  These stories are extremely creative and well written. I love a good story where the author uses their imagination to give us something different and unique. The authors in this anthology do that very thing. And despite the truly terrifying nature of these tales, there's a surprising amount of touching heartfelt moments in some of them. Can you feel sympathetic towards the bad thing that's stalking its victims? Well, yes. And you'll find that out as you're reading.
  
  Some of these stories are short and some are longer but none of them overstay their welcom. Each one is the length it needs to be in order to tell the story it wants. But the editor did a fantastic job in placing them as such so a longer story is followed by a shorter one. As with any anthology being able to read one or two stories at a time is perfect on those busy days. So great job there!
  
  You'll enjoy this anthology for the scares but also for the obvious talent these authors display. It's an eclectic, frightening, razor sharp collection of bone chilling horrors and I highly recommend it.
  
  I received an ARC of this book with no consideration. This review is voluntary and is my own personal opinion.
• 
  Cindy M

  I liked many of the stories within this anthology, however many of them didn't follow the theme of "inanimate objects". They were still good stories, and hit the spot if you're looking to read something spooky, which is why I've rated it 3 stars. Overall a nice, short read- but not all stories fit the theme so some feel out of place (not through the fault of any of the authors, they didn't put all the stories together and they did amazing)