The Opposite of Love by Julie Buxbaum

The Opposite of Love Reviews

• 
  Sibel Gandy

  2,5 / 5
  300 sayfa boyunca Emily'nin kendini bulmaya çalışmasını okumak pek bana göre değildi 😕
• 
  Kelsey

  Just finished reading this first novel and really wasn't that crazy about it. It's the story of a 29 year-old lawyer, Emily, struggling to find herself (fix her relationship, her job, her family).
  
  Best part of the book: First line of chapter 1: "Last night, I dreamt that I chopped Andrew up into a hundred little pieces, like a Benihana chef, and ate them, one by one." Also, I liked the cold relationship she has with her father.
  
  Worst parts of the book: The extensive use of cliches throughout the novel -- Emily's stuggle throughout the book to say "I love you;" Emily suddenly breaking up the relationship with her fiance for no apparent reason; the older, quirky Grandpa character; the one dimensional "evil" law firm she works for that represents chemical dumpers; the cute-as-all friends including a gorgeous southern guy at her law firm--these characters and plot lines feel so well-worn. Mostly movies come to mind (In Her Shoes, Because I Said So, Erin Brokovich). Books - maybe And now you can go. I read In the Drink by Kate Christensen a long time ago and really liked that book. It had an edge to it. A new take on white women stuggling in Manhattan...
  
  I thought maybe I'd get an insiders look at a big corporate law firm with this book but not a lot of attention is given to this. So I guess I just felt that the writing style, plot, characters, tone, voice -- were all so average and imitations of chick lit books we've seen before.
  
  This book reportedly received a huge advance somewhere in the neighborhood of half a million dollars so I guess that means two things: the publisher will be pushing the hell out of this book and they believe that there is a market for this book. For people who want light fare chick lit I suppose they'll like this book.
  
  Also, I read somewhere that the author spent four months writing this book. Um, is that something you want to go around advertising? I'm not saying everyone should spend 10 years writing their first novel, but really, how can you write anything thoughtful and insightful and good in four months?
• 
  Allison

  I was lucky enough to get my hands on an ARC of this book - due to hit stores in January 2008 - and I wasn't disappointed. An honest, believable portrayal of a 29-year old woman who is paralyzed by life and who has to find the nerves and strength within herself to literally move forward. Very touching, smart and well-written. I expect this will be a huge book come 2008.
• 
  Simge

  Yazarın bu kitabı bana hitap etmedi maalesef😕
• 
  Rachael

  I kept waiting for something to happen-- and yet, nothing. The prologue was bland and didn't tie into the rest of the story, and I think the main character wasn't likeable and quite boring. When things got bad, she drank too much (often) and also relied on the wisdom of the very old a little too often to be believable.
• 
  Leah

  When Emily Haxby suddenly dumps her boyfriend of two years Andrew, just as he’s about to propose, she can’t explain why to anybody, not even to Andrew or her close friends, not really. Once Emily realises her mistake, though, it’s too late and her life soon begins falling apart. She’s fed up of working for a lecherous boss, particularly when he assigns her to a case she doesn’t feel right defending. Then the biggest blow of all comes, her Grandpa Jack, the man she adores most in the world, appears to have something wrong with him. As Emily tries to pull her life back together, and realises she may have some deep-seated issues to deal with, will she finally realise that perhaps what she wanted has been there all along?
  
  I first heard of The Opposite of Love by Julie Buxbaum a while back, and I know it came highly recommended – by Marian Keyes, no less. I finally got around to buying myself a copy in January of this year, but when I started to read the book it didn’t hold my attention much and I always just left it on the shelf for a later date. However her new one was coming out and I decided it was probably high time I gave the book a real go because it sounded fantastic and a book that would be right up my alley.
  
  The Opposite of Love does begin fairly slowly. I mean the Prologue does pull you in, and the first line of Chapter One does even more so: “Last night I dreamt that I chopped Andrew up into a hundred little pieces, like a Benihana chef, and ate them, one by one. He tasted like chicken.” I mean, come on, that’s a fairly intriguing start, no? But after that the book seems to slow down, mostly due to the fact that it’s so hard to get to grips with Emily because she seems so detached, despite the fact the book is written entirely from her point of view. It’s clear from the off that Emily has problems; who dumps their boyfriend of two years just because he’s going to propose? Exactly. Despite my cold feelings towards Emily, I did persevere as I liked the story but it was the developing plot featuring Emily and her Grandpa Jack that really kept me reading.
  
  I don’t know how it happened or what page it happened, but I suddenly found myself feeling different toward the book. Emily didn’t change, not drastically anyway, but I began to understand her more, and suddenly I saw the book in a whole new light. It wasn’t too far in, either, and all of a sudden I was hooked and I could barely stop reading. There are many plot strands to the book, Emily’s work life is a big focus but it’s mainly about Emily’s inability to have a proper, adult relationship. It seems the only man Emily is able to have a relationship of any sort with is her Grandpa Jack; she doesn’t even have a real relationship with her own father. It was interesting to get to the bottom of why Emily was so bad with the men in her life, excepting Grandpa Jack, and to see if Emily could ever overcome the reasons why.
  
  Despite the cold-fish vibe I got from Emily at the beginning of the book I did manage to like her eventually. She is definitely a ‘Marmite’ kind of character and either you’ll end up loving her or hating her. Thankfully I fall in the former category and Buxbaum manages to write Emily in such a way that I was able to love Emily eventually. Guess who my absolute favourite character was though? Yes, that’s right, folks, Grandpa Jack stole the book. He seemed to be the only presence in Emily’s life that was able to thaw her out a bit and the interaction between the two of them was so beautifully written and I kind of wished Jack was my Grandpa, too. The synopsis alludes to something being wrong with Jack and I was hoping and praying it wouldn’t be anything too serious. Not that I’m going to tell you either way. Because Emily breaks up with Andrew, we don’t see too much of him, but what I could tell about him was that he was, undoubtedly, the best thing to happen to Emily and it was a shame he wasn’t around more. Those three make up the backbone of the book but we also have Emily’s father who didn’t appear to be very good at being a father, as well as Emily’s friends and Jack’s lovely neighbour Ruth. It was a good set of characters, no doubt about that.
  
  I will admit that the book made me cry. I knew right from the off something sad was going to happen and although I was prepared for it, it still made me cry. It was such a sad ending to the book and yet, there was still hope of some kind there. The book ended really well, sometimes a book just peters out with no explanations or anything but not The Opposite of Love. It had a very strong ending and I didn’t feel disappointed about it at all (which is such a rare feat). But what really sets apart The Opposite of Love is the fact it isn’t your run of the mill chick lit. Yes, Emily needs to ‘find herself’, something that only the American’s could do, but it doesn’t come across as false or stupid but it truly seemed that that was what Emily needed to do. There’s no ditzy best friend, or stupid love triangle, it’s a straight forward story of a woman trying to figure out her place in life and sort through some serious issues. I hugely recommend the book and furthermore I recommend you persevere if you find yourself struggling to like Emily, because she turns out good in the end!
• 
  Scribblegirl

  I was leery of reading another voyage of self-discovery book after the self-involved garbage of Patti Callahan Henry's Between the Tides, but Buxbaum gets right every single thing Henry does not, with none of the missteps and narcissism. Her heroine, Em, is someone you could know and like in real life. She has flaws and quirks and the capacity to care for others, even when she is being bitchy. Which isn't that often. Here is a woman I felt actually modeled on real life, who breathes through prose which is evocative when it needs to be without heavy-handedly beating the reader over the head with the writer's grasp of vocabulary and purple turns of phrase. This is Buxbaum's first novel, and she did a helluva job right out of the gate. Comparing her novel to Henry's really just shoves the short and dirty end of the stick at the latter. Maybe Henry should quit writing and take up law, as doing the reverse certainly worked out well for Buxbaum. I really enjoyed her book and characters.
• 
  N.T.

  This book really got me, brought me in -- where a title like that can rarely get my attention.
  
  The characters, and main character Emily, were endearing, funny, their own voice, brought to life, and surrounded and engulfed Emily in a way that rang true.
  
  There were many heart tearing moments, surprising me constantly, and a deep exploration at other moments that left me blushing or feeling as if it hit very close to home.
  
  There has been a theme of leaving or losing on purpose (or forcefully) an unhealthy job and the turning point of recognition in 30something professional women that have suddenly crossed my path. :) They've all meant a great deal to me.
  
  This book was a force, a ride across the Atlantic perhaps, with all the joy, wonder, stomach dropping, laughter, yearning that one could imagine. But a great ride.
  
  I cannot wait to read more from this author and await her next book.
• 
  Sarah

  Not my genre of choice, but it is a fine choice for a beach read/travel book...meaty chick lit. Very funny characters, and surprisingly realitstically writen. If I met the author, I can safely assume I won't see someone wearing pink and carrying around bridal magazines.
• 
  jessica

  ughhh. im so sad to say that i wish i had never read this. i absolutely adored both of julie buxbaums YA novels - they were both 5+ star reads for me. which is why i was desperate to read more of her work. but this particular book just fell below average for me. the writing is decent, a little overbearing at times with all the superfluous descriptions, but it wasnt terrible. and the plot itself was okay. i really liked the idea of sometimes having to wreck the entire foundation of a life in order to build a better, stronger one. but i just could not connect with the main character, which made it difficult for me to empathise with her. i actually found myself skimming through a lot of this and hitting only the major plot points of the story. also, what was even the point of that prologue!? sigh. i really, really wish i could have loved this as much as i love her other books, but i think i will just be sticking with her YA novels for the time being.
  
  ↠ 2.5 stars
• 
  Annabelle

  While the framework is stale--a 29-year-old New York lawyer who just dumped her boyfriend and hates her job has a quarter-life crisis--I thought the writing had surprising depth. The main character is haunted by her mother's death, struggles with her grandfather's illness and is believably conflicted about her relationship with her former boyfriend. There are some one-dimensional side characters and, like most chick-lit, the upbeat ending is somewhat forced. But there were quite a few genuinely moving scenes and skillfully crafted descriptions that I thought elevated this beyond pure escapism.
• 
  Carol

  This is a debut novel that got a lot of attention in review journals, etc so I have had in on my TBR list for a long time. I wasn’t disappointed. Emily is a 29-year old lawyer frustrated with her job as a litigation attorney. Her relationship with her father is strained, her beloved grandfather is ill and she has just broken up with the perfect boyfriend. Emily’s comments often made me smile and I even had a few tears during reading this book. Definitely a step above the chick lit/single women's fiction out there.
• 
  Angeld01

  I randomly picked this up at the library and it was so good. Some of the themes were definitely covered territory.
  
  A successful lawyer uncertain of her relationship, her career and her sense of family. But I really enjoyed Buxbaum's writing. She was gentle and compassionate in her story of Emily.
  
  Of course too, I really enjoyed Emily's relationship with Grandpa Jack. It was really special and caused other supportive relationships in her life, such as the one with Ruth.
  
  I look forward to the career of Buxbaums
• 
  Julie

  I thought this was an amazing debut novel. Lots of interesting, complex characters and relationships. At the beginning of the book, Emily makes a rash decision that she later realizes was terribly wrong, but she can't quickly make it right again - with the help of some good friends, relatives and therapy she learns to grow and make positive changes in all parts of her life. A great example of more serious chick lit that's touching and humorous at the same time.
• 
  Jen

  This book stressed me out. The main character just kept making bad decisions even though she knew she was . . . dnf'd at about 40%.
• 
  Natasa

  The Opposite of Love, by Julie Buxbaum, is a terrific read. It is an emotional book that goes to the edges of feelings and relationships. At times humorous in its raw honesty, at times sad as her protagonist, Emily Haxby, struggles with discovering herself, one in which she is capable to put herself in a position to love, a position of vulnerability. 
• 
  Karen

  I really enjoyed this book. It reminded me a little of Lolly Winston or Sarah Dunn, but with its own distinct voice. I like books that are funny (without being too biting) and wise, and this one fit the bill.
  
  There is has been a lot pre-pub buzz surrounding this novel and it definitely lives up to expectations.
• 
  Marielis

  Esperaba que The Opposite of Love fuera una de esas historias ligeras que emocionan.
  Lamentablemente no logré conectar con Emily y su "confusión".
• 
  Karin Mika

  I did not really care for this book in the beginning, but it really hit home on a lot of levels ... from grief, to loneliness, to dealing with the deterioration of an elder, to trying to do it all, to being emotionally dysfunctional, to even being an attorney in a difficult and competitive environment. I could relate to the main character in pretty much everything she did, from the reasons for her self-sabotage, to her desire to try to carefully commit the details of our fleeting lives (and the people we love) to memory so they never leave us. I enjoyed how the author did not sugar coat the fact that, as we move forward in life, pretty much everything that happens to us involves dealing with loss. The book did have sort of a happy ending, but it is was also a realistic one that didn't involve any proselytizing about living in the moment. Rather, the book seemed more focused on all of us understanding that we all sort of live both in the moment while simultaneously understanding that the moment leaves us very quickly too. We are, in some ways, just an audience of our past the entire time we are here. For my part, I can't say that insight into the reality makes anything any better. The bad stuff is really bad, and it does beat us up and reshape us, and sometimes it really doesn't completely heal.
• 
  MELANIE

  Emily est une brillante avocate et fiancée à Andrew, tout pour la vie rêvée sauf qu'elle n'est plus sûre de rien. Elle rompt avec Andrew et va essayer de comprendre ce qu'elle veut, qui elle est...
  
  Je m'attendais à quelque chose de plus léger, de plus drôle. Je ne me suis pas du tout attachée à Emily, elle est trop passive. Il faut attendre la moitié du roman avant qu'elle fasse quelque chose.
  C'est un roman introspectif, ce n'est pas du tout ce que je recherche. Le résumé est conforme au roman mais je m'en étais fait une fausse idée.
  Ni romance, ni comédie, ni feelgood, je me suis ennuyée. Il y a quelques idées intéressantes, mais rien n'est suffisamment développé à mon goût.
  
  En bref, ce roman n'est pas fait pour moi.
• 
  ırmak güner

  ben karakterlerin kendi hayat amaclarini bulmaya calistiklari kitaplari severim genelde cunku kendimden bi sey bulurum ama emily'de oyle olmadi. cok bi olay ortusu yoktu yani (spoiler geliyo) sevgilinden ayriliyorsun isinden ayriliyorsun kendini bulmaya calisuyorsun ve deden vefat ediyo bla bla bi olay orgusu falan heyrcanlandiran bi olay yoktu. HELE EN YAKIN ARKADASIYLS opustu ama exini hatırladı diye sevisemedi ve en yakin arkadaşını Baska bi arkadasina pasladi???? tf???? bu avrupa amerikaliladdakj genislik bende asla olamicak ya...bravo valla nasi miden aldi la.....neyse oyle...okumama cok da degmezmis ama sayesinde yillik okuma hedefimi tamamladim
• 
  Nicole

  DNF at page 106. I just couldn't get into this one.
• 
  Livia Rabelo

  This was a really wierd reading for me, it had one great moment surrounded by some unsettling ones..... Overall it had potential but it didn't really work out for me.
• 
  Kathleen Vallejo

  I liked Tell Me Three Things, but this one was just ok. It just didn't flow for me and I was frustrated with the main character.
• 
  Cynthia

  This was a quick read and I enjoyed the story. Parts of it were very relatable to my own life before marriage and career. The major characters were all likable and fun to get to know throughout the book. I felt like I grew with Emily as the book progressed.
• 
  Yelania Nightwalker

  ¡Pañuelos desechables por favor!
  
  He llorado como no se imaginan con esta novela, sufrí con Emily, con Andrew, me divertí con Jack, en fin…
  
  Emily es abogada y odia a su jefe (yo lo odiaría también), es hija única, huérfana de madre, con su papá no tiene una comunicación muy buena que digamos. La persona a la que más quiere es a su abuelo Jack, que por si fuera poco, está muriéndose…
  
  Un día, Emily se da cuenta que no puede seguir adelante con la relación que lleva con Andrew, su novio. Aunque ambos se aman, por que sí, se aman, ella corta la relación. Después, renuncia a su trabajo, se hunde en la depresión y termina finalmente visitando a un psicólogo.
  
  La historia, contada en primera persona, es muy triste. Aunque sólo ves todo desde la perspectiva de Emily, a mí me gustó por eso. Es una manera hermosa de conocer a un personaje, de saber qué siente, qué piensa, sus temores, sus necesidades…
  
  Conocer a Emily fue tan conmovedor que no podía despegarme del libro. Lo devoré como una loca y usé muchísimos pañuelos desechables por que lloré bastante.
  
  Es extraño como una novela que me ha emocionado tanto, me es difícil de describir, de contarles a ustedes cómo la viví y creo que por eso tardé bastante en hacer la reseña. Y aun hoy, sigo sin poder decirlo.
  
  Así que bien, la novela me encantó. Me hizo reír, me hizo llorar y me hizo reflexionar sobre las relaciones que a veces tenemos con nuestros seres queridos, como nos cerramos a ellos por miedo a sufrir sin darnos cuenta que eso es lo que más nos lastima y que además; por ello, terminamos hiriendo a quienes más amamos.
  
  Una lectura hermosa para un día tranquilo en casa, con una tacita de café bien cargado (mejor si es Chiapaneco *-*) y un ejército de pañuelitos. Aunque si no son tan lloronas como yo, tal vez no los necesiten, pero quedan advertidos que Emily, cuenta su historia de un modo muy intenso y que te llega al corazón. Le daría un cien, pero no puedo.