The End of Eve by Ariel Gore

The End of Eve Reviews

• 
  Jenna

  It’s getting to be that time of year when I start searching the web for the best books of 2014. I know that it is a bit early for that, but I just want to make sure that I am not missing any quality reading before the year is up or at least weigh in on all the hype when the time comes.
  
  In my search, I came across this book. I tend to go into reading books blind because I don’t like to read about them before hand. I like the element of surprise, which is why I loathe movie previews. Anyway, I decided to read the synopsis because I wanted to know what was so great about a book with a crow on the front. I was instantly intrigued to find out that it was a memoir of a woman who’s narcissistic mother was dying of cancer.
  
  I don’t know what it is about crazy mother’s such as Joan Crawford (allegedly) was that stirs my interest. Maybe it is because I am baffled that a mother can be so self-absorbed and cruel to the worst degree and I always want the daughter to come back at the end and make her feel so horrible, but I am always disappointed when this doesn’t happen because, duh, the mother is a narcissist.
  
  I liked this book on a number of levels. I could see how the daughter was affected by her mother and just couldn’t get away from her power. I was a bit disappointed though that she was the only one in her familly who seemed to bare the responsibility of her mother without any anger toward her sister for not being there very often. I wanted to shake up the author a bit and tell her to give in to her emotions because to me she came across as passive and as a pushover at times. I listened to the audiobook on this one (the author narrated) and to me she just often seemed bored.
  
  I did, however, find the author to be quite amusing at other times and I chuckled quite a bit. I could also relate to some of the helplessness that she went through. In the end, I hope that she is finding some peace in her life for once and I wonder if she ever really misses her mother or if she finally feels free.
• 
  Loren

  Despite the back cover promises, I didn't find the humor in a scared, broken woman caring for her abusive dying mother. I wondered more than once why Ariel didn't just walk away long before Eve was diagnosed with lung cancer, as everyone else in Eve's life did.
  
  I understand that Ariel is trying to behave in such a way that she can be proud of herself -- and maybe she finds pride at the end, but damn this book is harrowing to read. About the halfway point, I skipped ahead to make sure that Eve really did snuff it. Finding out that she does finally die gave me the courage to read the rest of the book.
  
  There are some beautiful moments here. I liked when Ariel carries around scraps of paper with random words written on them. The words drop out of her purse from time to time, like fortunes. I was glad when she starts dating the nameless chef. The details about the seasons in Santa Fe were lovely.
  
  I liked the Sherwin Nuland quote, too: "Death, he writes, is all too frequently a series of destructive events that involve by their very nature the disintegration of the dying person's humanity." Ariel doesn't follow that thought out to wonder what a person loses when she doesn't behave humanely in the first place.
• 
  Kirsten

  One of those books that upon reading I know that somewhere in the world there is someone who understands me. For any daughter who has had a complicated love relationship with her mother, and any daughter who has been her mother's caregiver, well, Ariel Gore has written you a book.
• 
  Bibliophile10

  Stories should help readers understand how to love, and this book does that.
• 
  Susan DeFreitas

  Life isn't fair--we've all had that phrase hurled at us since childhood, but man, sometimes it really isn't. Particularly when your mother is dying of cancer. Particularly when your mother is both a dear, hilarious, wonderful person and a total narcissist. Not all of us were dealt those cards, but every one of us will face circumstance as difficult, as heartbreaking, and as tough to respond to in the manner we would like to at some point in our lives. Gore's journey from Portland to Santa Fe hit me in all the right ways, having recently made such a journey myself; her angle on matters spiritual, skeptical, feminist, and political feels like a breath of pure fresh air in a world of infighting; and her style is smart, intimate, and self-aware. This book will increase your EQ.
• 
  Star

  
  I was eager to get my hands on End of Eve (though at that time I think, it was titled Lung Cancer Noir) after hearing Ariel do a reading at Wild Mountain Memoir Retreat. Later, I knew I wasn't alone in my enthusiasm when during a writing workshop, half the class picked it as the best book they'd read recently. It's a tender and somehow feisty telling of negotiating the emotional morass surrounding the impending death of her drama queen mother. She brings the reader into her story with grace and forgiveness without being sappy. We feel her vulnerability when her mother refers to her by her childhood nickname. "What do you know about evil, Tiniest?"
  
  The End of Eve speaks to our flawed human condition in a believable way, how we are all just trying to stay afloat. A harder thing to do when the person who brought you into the world is going down.
• 
  Jordan

  Ariel's writing alternates between the lyrical and the spare, and though she's writing about the woman who emotionally abused her, she never makes you feel sorry for her. Her narrator is not a victim, but a survivor and not in an overly sentimental New Age way. Gorgeous, unforgettable.
• 
  Allison

  Couldn't put it down. Damnit, Ariel, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!
• 
  Emily

  This book left me feeling like I had spent too long in a steam room and now needed a nap, like I had been crying all day and now also needed a nap, like a steaming wrung out wash cloth. I didn't cry when I was reading it, but I did read a picture book about being kind after and I cried a lot.
• 
  Anne

  I enjoyed this book a lot and related to the author on many levels. It has a quirky modern feel to it. It is great that gen x is middle age now because, even though I qualify as one, I am sick of boomer authority. The author seems like someone who it would be fun to have as a friend.
  
  I ended up caring about the characters and falling in love with wise little Maxito. The book is more about the caregivers than Eve but that was okay. It was liberating when the author let slip those momentary mental rants against her situation that one would not normally say aloud lest they be misconstrued. As a caregiver of a person with issues, I could feel the author's utter resignation at the job, hating it but loving her messed up mother nonetheless. She delivered the beautiful message that just because you have a bad mother, doesn't mean you have to be a bad daughter. "Act in a way you will be proud of."
  
  The book has a few inconsistencies and some unanswered questions, but it didn't matter much. She writes in a down to earth way that makes me want to read another of her books.
• 
  Carol

  The End of Eve was a finalist last year for the Publishing Triangle's Judy Grahn Award for Lesbian Nonfiction. I heard Ariel Gore read from it the night before the awards ceremony, and I knew I wanted to read the book. I have a 90-year old mother and I am a long-distance caregiver.
  
  When she learns that her mother had stage 4 lung cancer, one of the things that comes to Ariel's mind is the words, "Behave in a way that you're going to be proud of." And she does. Frankly, I couldn't have. The End of Eve is almost like a thriller--I kept turning the pages to find out what was going to happen next. I was appalled some of the time, yet I couldn't turn away.
  
  This was one of the most memorable memoirs I've ever read.
  
  
  
  
• 
  Kristin

  I came home at 11pm last night, found this in the mail, read the first half, went to sleep, woke up, and finished it. If you look at my 'currently reading' list, you'll see that I am endlessly picking up and putting down books in fits and starts over the last many months, but rarely finishing anything. This one is extra special to me, but that doesn't mean you won't find it just as compelling and impossible to put down. You can get an advance copy from the publisher right now, but otherwise it hits stores in March 2014. Do yourself a favor and order it now. I'm too close to it right now to write a better review.
  http://hawthornebooks.com/catalogue/t...
• 
  Michelle

  i love her writing. i'm looking forward to reading her novels, but i'm starting a long-term care fund TODAY.
• 
  Natalie

  I read this the night after a family funeral: it was complexity's balm.
• 
  Rick

  If you think your mother is narcissistic, manipulating
  and often hurtful, read this memoir and meet
  the new Queen.
• 
  Billie Rain

  made me laugh and cry out loud. made me think deep thoughts.
• 
  Dani

  Good God I loved this book.
  
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  Favorite quotes (which may or may not contain spoilers, depending on what you consider a spoiler in a memoir):
  
  * “Teagan: ‘I’ve met your mom. She’s a narcissist. Narcissists take a long time to die.’”
  
  * “Teagan: ‘You told me not to think on it too hard. You said everything is loneliness. You said there’s no regret and there’s no sacrifice. You said make your choice and let the rest fall away.’”
  
  * “I texted Maia: ’Broke up with Sol.’
  She texted right back: ‘I know. She already updated her Facebook profile.’ Then she texted again: ‘Can I say congratulations, Mama? I love you this much. (Picture my little kid arms open wide).’”
  
  * “‘You better be careful,’ I warned her. ‘There’s a whole lot of Jesus up in this place.’ She laughed, kind of shrugged but then didn’t shrug- winced at the shrugging. ‘I got no problem with Jesus,’ she said.”
  
  * “I knew my mother was impossible, and worse. But some part of me had always liked her.”
  
  * “My friends on Facebook were ‘sending love and light,’ but I needed a darker kind of tenderness.”
  
  * “Abra sat up, tired. ‘How will we look back on these days, Lady Yaga?’
  I glanced up at the painting of the winged house. ‘With relief that they’re over and some odd wish we could go back and do it all better.’”
  
  * “All this ink and story. I thought about cold bricks at my back, thought about the wind in the alley just then for no reason. About the way abuse invents us, sure, but as long as we’re alive there’s time for reinvention; time to imagine some way to integrate the enormity of it all.”
• 
  Milla

  It's like a thriller with a psychopath/narcissist mother controlling and guilt-tripping her adult daughter to take care of her when she's diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer - except it's an autobiography. Ariel Gore never disappoints, her matter-of-fact descriptions of the horrible situation are heart-wrenching, and the way she finds motivation in the desperate situations she lands are inspirational. I would highly recommended the audiobook, read by the author - she let's the dark humour in the book shine through.
• 
  Spokanemadge

  This is my first written review on Goodreads. I generally just give stars, but that didn't seem enough. Ariel and I have many characteristics in common including age, sexual orientation, and a complicated relationship with our mothers. It made so much sense to me and it was so encouraging to read Ariel's struggle on paper. Thank you so much for writing this book, Ariel Gore!
• 
  Penni Jones

  In THE END OF EVE, Ariel Gore details going from finally reaching contentment to caring for her dying, narcissist mother. While her mother's health deteriorates, Gore's long-term relationship begins to unravel. She makes the best of her rapidly changing life, and manages to capture the beauty and pain for all of us to share.
• 
  Ashley

  A lyrical mix of toughness and tenderness. Gore describes a varied range of people, places, and experiences with perspicuous eyes, most memorably, "all the complicated violence she's been taught to call love." This book is both hard to read (dark subject, painful relationship) and hard to put down (full of wisdom and humor). Now I want to read all of her books.
• 
  Kimberly Diaz

  Vividly drawn characters, spare but beautiful language, and I could relate the story of a daughter helping a dying mother who never wanted to be a mother. So many great lines --my favorite: "What was a tattoo anyway, but a visual reminder of pain and healing."
• 
  Allison Floyd

  Welp, what to say, other than it's not every day a memoir manages to be utterly delightful AND have you actively rooting for the narrator's mother's demise!
  
  Also, this really has my doubling down on my dream of one day living in Santa Fe.
• 
  Angela

  It's not the best memoir I've read, but she wrote without fluff...it was real life.
  Worth the read.
• 
  Alley

  Gore is brilliant as always but this one was rough tough to get through for me emotionally
• 
  Leora

  A fantastic memoir, beautifully written, and in Gore's monotone reading, chilling.
• 
  Jami Lin

  an honest & terrifying & darkly funny portrait of a parent's death
• 
  Kendra KB.HG

  More like a 3.5. "And now I was free"
• 
  Tré

  This was so good. That's all I can say. You just have to read it.