How to Be Perfect: Poems by Ron Padgett

How to Be Perfect: Poems Reviews

• 
  Bill Kerwin

  Ron Padgett is one of the cheekier members of the second generation of what are generally called “The New York School Poets” (although Ron actually comes from Tulsa). Inspired by such figures as Frank O’Hara, John Ashbery, Kenneth Koch and James Schuyler, they adopted a painterly aesthetic, prizing color, movement, immediacy, and a conversational style above all else.
  Perhaps more than the rest, Padgett—and his early collaborator Ted Berrigan—were the funniest and most outrageous of the younger bunch. They seemed to improvise more, and—although they often failed—they were hilarious and often poignant when successful. The following passage from the poem “Method” included in this volume is revealing:

  Sometimes Kenneth Koch’s method I guess you’d call it
  was to have a general notion of the whole poem
  before he started
  such as the history of jazz or the boiling point of water
  or talking to things that can’t talk back (as he put it) that is apostrophes
  whereas my method (I’d guess I’d call it) is to start and go
  wherever the poem seems to lead.

  Oddly enough, though, two of the most effective of Padgett’s poems here are two long onces—each about ten pages—that utlize the Kochian method: “How to Be Perfect” (which includes such memorable advice as “Take care of things close to home first. Straighten up your room before you save the world. Then save the world.”), and “Pikakirjoitusvihko,” a series of journal entries (like “Fyodor = Theodore. Therefore, Ted Dostoevsky.”)
  
  To get an idea of the randomness—and crazy beauty--of Padgett’s stuff, here are three short examples:

  TOOTHBRUSH
  
  As the whisk broom
  is the child of the ordinary broom,
  I am a toothbrush
  when it comes to bristling,
  insufficiently angry
  or maybe too angry
  to keep my bristles intact
  since I know the debris
  of the world is too great
  for me to handle.
  If I could save the world
  by being crucified
  I certainly would.
  But who would nail
  a toothbrush to a cross?
  
  
  HISTORY LESSON
  
  I think that Geoffrey Chaucer did not move
  the way a modern person moves.
  He moved only an inch at a time, in what
  we call stop action. Everyone in his day moved
  like that, so they could be shot into a tapestry,
  but also because time moved in short lurches
  and was slightly jagged and had fewer colors
  for them to be in. But that was good. Humanity
  Aaahas to take it one step at a time.
  
  
  THIS FOR THAT
  
  What will I have for breakfast?
  I wish I had some plums
  like the ones in William’s poem.
  He apologized to his wife
  for eating them
  but what he did not
  do was apologize to those
  who would read his poem
  and also not ber able to eat them.
  That is why I like his poem
  when I am not hungry.
  Right now I do not like him
  or his poem. This is just
  to say that.
• 
  Mike

  This for That
  
  What will I have for breakfast?
  I wish I had some plums
  like the ones in Williams’s poem.
  He apologized to his wife
  for eating them
  but what he did not
  do was apologize to those
  who would read his poem
  and also not be able to eat them.
  That is why I like his poem
  when I am not hungry.
  Right now I do not like him
  or his poem. This is just
  to say that.
• 
  Sophia

  Started out good, but lost interest half way through and struggled through the rest. Billy Collins wanna-be but has so far to go!
• 
  Brad Carl

  It's not that I'm in love with RP. But I am definitely intrigued and inspired by his writings. It's not that every poem makes sense to me. That's okay, too. I am still entertained. The poem titled "How To Be Perfect" is one of the longer pieces in the book and a highlight. But I believe RP is at his best in brevity.
• 
  Keith Taylor

  I was just thinking about Padgett today, particularly about the poems he wrote for that movie, "Paterson." I was wondering if I could find those poems and read them in the cool light away from the film. But that made me remember some of his earlier work, and the pleasure I took in it. And then these few words I wrote about him years ago:
  
  
  https://annarborobserver.com/articles...
• 
  Sarah

  This was very enjoyable and sprinkled with marvels. "How to be Perfect," the title poem, was probably the one I liked least. I have to say, however, that overall I've read better Padgett.
• 
  wkdidka alaska

  Although the poem is just a poem, I decided that this, too, counts as a book read. On the other hand, I am just too busy with work to complete a 350 page book at the same time.
  
  But this one is very nice. I would like to think myself as a person who follows some of these rules. And as a Capricorn, I love rules. Some of these that I loved:
  
  

  
  "Don't be afraid of anything beyond your control. Don't be afraid, for
  instance, that the building will collapse as you sleep, or that someone
  you love will suddenly drop dead."
  
  "Be friendly. It will help make you happy."
  
  "Make eye contact with a tree."
  
  "Don't stay angry about anything for more than a week, but don't
  forget what made you angry. Hold your anger out at arm's length
  and look at it, as if it were a glass ball. Then add it to your glass ball
  collection."
• 
  Seda Hovhannisyan

  Մի անցկացրու շատ ժամանակ մեծ խմբով մարդկանց հետ։
  Հիշիր, որ պրոգրես գոյություն չունի։
  Մաքուր պահիր պատուհաններդ։
  Ինչ-որ բան աճեցրու ։
  Երբեք կուլ մի տուր ծուխը։
  Հեռու մնա բանտից։
  Երբ փողոցում կրակոցներ են, մոտ մի գնա պատուհանին։
  Սովորիր ասել «բարի օր», «շնորհակալություն» ու «ուտելիքի փայտիկներ» չինարեն։
  Կարդա ու նորից կարդա լավագույն գրքերը ։
  Ներիր քո երկրին երբեմն։ Եթե դա անհնար է, տեղափոխվիր մեկ ուրիշը։
  Երգիր։
• 
  Tom

  Padgett makes poetry look easy. He makes the funny serious and the serious funny. You will no doubt want to go back and re-read his poems, and that's good because you may find something new and different each time.
  I think we are living in a time of very good poetry, and Padgett's is among the very best.
  Here's a thought: Read these poems out loud, even if you're alone (and especially if you're not).
  They feel good.
• 
  Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance

  Not everybody likes poetry. Sadly, many people were taught in school that poetry is Complex and is Too Deep for Anyone Other than Literature Professors to Contemplate. Very sad.
  
  Do you feel like that? Do you feel reading poetry is akin to reading in another language?
  
  This little book could change that. Padgett is a Poet for the People. Billy Collins-ish. Readable. Yet thoughtful.
  
  I ran across Padgett a few weeks ago via Garrison Keillor’s Writer’s Almanac. Here’s just a tiny excerpt from this book’s title poem, How to Be Perfect:
  
  Get some sleep.
  
  Eat an orange every morning.
  
  Be friendly. It will help make you happy.
  
  Hope for everything. Expect nothing.
  
  Take care of things close to home first. Straighten up your room
  before you save the world. Then save the world….
  
• 
  Natalie Serber

  Love the eponymous poem. Love many of the lines, these in particular:
  
  --Learn how to whistle at ear-splitting volume.
  --If you're struck with the fear that you've swum out too far in the ocean, turn around and go back to the lifeboat.
  --Imagine what you'd like to see happen, and then don't do anything to make it impossible.
  --Don't be depressed about growing older. It will make you feel even older. Which is depressing.
  --Plan your day so you never have to rush.
  --Live with an animal.
  
  And more and more and more. Serious and silly. Profound and playful. Keep on picking it up.
• 
  Cooper Renner

  This is my first Padgett collection to read. I'd class this as light or humorous verse. Topics can be serious, but approach is light and "positive" rather than ponderous and "deep". A great deal of fun.
• 
  Swasti Lavania

  While starting this poem, I thought to myself 'so what does being perfect really means'? Isn't that too overrated? But then, this poem had me at the first reference line ' Everything is perfect, dear friend. -KEROUAC'
  I believe, Sunday well spent. :)
• 
  Rick

  Most of the poems are short, genial and flavorful. There are four longer poems, two of which are utterly grand.
• 
  Charmi

  Loving it!
• 
  Jessica

  Picked this up after reading the title poem on Stumbledupon. It was one of the few pleasing poems in this collection. Overall, not great.
• 
  M.W.P.M.

  When I was little I had a top
  that spun on its point.
  A lot of kids had tops,
  I guess they spun them.
  The tops went round and
  around - but?
  (The mystery
  of centrifugal force?)
  My top slowed down and
  went crazy-wobble, and I
  got up and spun
  and staggered dizzy,
  flopped and threw
  the spin into the floor.
  

  - Tops, pg. 3

  
  * * *
  
  As the whisk broom
  is the child of the ordinary broom,
  which is cousin to the janitor's broom,
  I am a toothbrush
  when it comes to bristling,
  insufficiently angry
  or maybe too angry
  to keep my bristles intact
  since I know the debris
  of the world is too great
  for me to handle.
  If I could save the world
  by being crucified
  I certainly would.
  But who would nail
  a toothbrush to a cross.
  

  - Toothbrush, pg. 13

  
  * * *
  
  Where are those books I ordered and what
  were they, oh yes, the Divine Comedy in three volumes
  which I keep telling myself I am going to read
  in toto, although I wonder about the "divine" part
  that Dante himself didn't even have in his title
  and to us "comedy" sounds like Shecky Greene
  at the Sahara, Shecky who was funny and actually
  kind of sad though not tragic. What is tragic is
  that I started out thinking about Dante and
  ended up thinking about Shecky Greene!
  

  - Now at the Sahara, pg. 21

  
  * * *
  
  You are in a room
  in the country
  in a country
  that has plenty of room
  
  to walk around
  in.
  You walk to one
  end of the room,
  
  turn and walk
  out the door
  into the room next
  to the door
  
  that leads out
  to the country
  side and to
  everywhere
  
  so you turn
  around and go
  back in to
  where you were.
  
  But now the room
  has advanced
  in time ahead
  of you and you
  
  will have to hurry
  up or else
  the room will leave
  you far behind.
  

  - Country Room, pg. 35-36

  
  * * *
  
  What will I have for breakfast?
  I wish I had some plums
  like the ones in Williams's poem.
  He apologized to his wife
  for eating them
  but what he did not
  do was apologize to those
  who would read his poem
  and also not be able to eat them.
  That is why I like his poem
  when I am not hungry.
  Right now I do not like him
  or his poem. This is just
  to say that.
  

  - This for That, pg. 45

  
  * * *
  
  You hammer away on
  the hills and braes of
  bonny Scotland, where
  oh the thrill of the thought
  of it the heather
  runs up like a girl all fresh
  and wind-blown to shake
  her head and wag a
  finger at your naughty
  naughty thoughts,
  about her, of
  course, and you
  hammer those hills and braes
  with all your might.
  

  - Whiz and bang, pg. 63

  
  * * *
  
  We don't look as young
  as we used to
  except in dim light
  especially in
  the soft warmth of candlelight
  when we say
  in all sincerity
  You're so cute
  and
  You're my cutie.
  Imagine
  two old people
  behaving like this.
  It's enough
  to make you happy.
  

  - Words from the Front, pg. 71

  
  * * *
  
  What if she, in her magnificence,
  picked you up and held you high aloft
  in a glittering instant, then, with
  a grunt, threw you down the beach
  two hundred yards, to where
  the stars are now both in the sky
  and circling round your head as she
  comes loping down the long decline
  to pick you up and hurl you once again?
  

  - The Idea of Being Hurled at Key West, pg. 86

  
  * * *
  
  There's a saying
  "You can\t make the bed you're lying in."
  Actually you can,
  though it takes a bit of practice,
  and when you've finished
  it is nice to lie there
  as part of the bed. But soon
  you have the urge to move
  that surges up against the urge
  to keep the bed as is and you
  become the background.
  Before this point it's best
  to slip out twixt the sheets
  and go about your day,
  the figure from a Japanese screen
  who was there only a moment.
  

  - Bed, pg. 95
• 
  C. de L.

  "Una vez me apoyé contra un árbol a descansar
  Tanto
  Que me quedé atrapado ahí
  Ese tipo de amor es terrible"
  
  "Ah, qué agradable
  vivir así, hacerte llorar, o levantarse
  y estornudar, y apagar la luz"
  
  "es la forma en que
  me siento, deseando
  que el resto de ti
  estuviese conmigo"
  
  "Todos
  quieren ser
  hermosos pero
  pocos lo son"
  
  "Si sufres y nadie te conoce
  siempre existe la posibilidad
  de que seas horrible
  (...) y
  todo está en calma, todo está radiante"
  
  "Cuando me despierto antes que tú y tú
  estás vuelta hacia mí, tu cara
  en la almohada y el cabello revuelto,
  me arriesgo a quedarme mirándote,
  con el asombro del amor y el miedo
  a que abras los ojos y que
  la luz te mate del susto.
  (...) Me ato los cordones
  y bajo a calentar café"
  
  "Me fui de casa
  para convertirme en
  el poeta que pensé
  que me gustaría ser"
  
  "Recuerda la belleza, que existe, y la verdad, que no. Fíjate que la idea de verdad es tan poderosa como la idea de belleza".
  
  "-todo puede ser una barrera para la compasión. ¿Pero qué hay de la inteligencia? ¿Cuántas personas de inteligencia notablemente inferior cuentas entre tus verdaderos amigos?"
  
  "Es irritante ser casi viejo sin haber crecido"
  
  "Envidiar el talento de alguien a quien amas es particularmente hermoso y estimulante"
  
  "Por siempre,
  todo lo que siempre has querido,
  al alcance de la mano"
  
  "No habrá nunca nadie como tú.
  Qué vergüenza".
  
  
• 
  W.B.

  A scholar and a gentleman. And Woody Woodpecker. And Hokusai. And Ted Berrigan. And bagels. You could probably give Ron Padgett a one word prompt that was any word in the lexicon (or outside of it) and he would probably gladly sit down and come up with a poem that was memorable for being 1) honest 2) weird 3) twisty 4) in the vernacular and 5) hugely discursive. And therein lies the charm. Padgett is the modern Lucretius, interested in explaining the entire universe to you and perfectly fine with his explanations being much, much more poetry than science. I enjoy the explanations, even when they are shaggy dog peregrinations. New York School is talky, right? He's one of those poets who can write fantastic very short poems too. That's so rare. Between his own poetry and his invaluable work as a translator, educator and memoirist (love the Joe Brainard book) I'd say we have an American treasure here. My favorite Padgett poem isn't in this collection, though. That would be "Who and Each." Unfortunately, I can't find a link for that. But looking for that I did find Michael Leddy's fine appreciation of Padgett here:
  http://www.ronpadgett.com/RonPadgettB...
• 
  Jan

  Some poems and thoughts in here are so random, yet so precious that I want to put them away in a little box and look at them each time the world seems grey and dreary, which - trust me - is actually quite a lot. Half a point deduction for the poems that were just a bit too random for me and half a point deduction for the things I found a bit problematic in here. And I know, art is allowed to do everything blablabla, but I am and remain uptight.
• 
  Haines Eason

  Most poets should care less and share more; Padgett does and is enthralling. Of course, as with any late(r) career writer, there are moments here where he has given himself much license--poems he should have cut, for instance (the book is 114 pages!). Less is more, yes, but I bet he'd insist more is more, too.
• 
  Christy Baker

  I'm new to Ron Padgett's poetry and this seemed to be a good mixture of shorter and longer with a wide variety of topics with a generally light tone, such as the title piece, though there are more serious contemplations such as why people are so mean. I enjoyed the wit present in many of the pieces and felt the work broadly accessible. I'll seek out more of his work in the future.
• 
  Brandon

  Weird book of poetry. I was attracted to Padgett because he wrote the poetry for 'Paterson'. The best stuff here is in that same vein: succinct, simple, spacious. However, most stuff has a modernist spin that left me dizzy.
• 
  Janiela Cid

  Llegué a Ron Padgett gracias a la peli Paterson protagonizada por Adam Driver. El libro fue un regalo de fin de año y no dudé en empezarlo pronto y tomarlo a sorbitos. Ron Padgett es maravilloso, su poesía lo es. Me encantaron la mayoría de los poemas del libro, sinceramente, te llenan el corazón.
• 
  Minhaz

  YA'LL NEED TO READ THIS.
• 
  Behoove

  "I hope to see you later."
• 
  Matthew

  Some very good stuff.
• 
  Randy Cauthen

  Smarm.