| Title | : | The Conqueror Worms |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 0843954167 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9780843954166 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Paperback |
| Number of Pages | : | 326 |
| Publication | : | First published September 1, 2005 |
The Conqueror Worms Reviews
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This is a book that looks good but isn't.
Okay, it started pretty good but quickly went downhill.
I expected to be reading a creature feature with worms, but are there even huge worms in this? Did I miss it? I'm confused.
Seemed to be more about rain, rain, rain and Satanists.
The writing is poor in some places, there's page after page of rambling dialogue and I was bored out of my mind but I finished it because I hate to DNF.
Could have been so much better. -
For Brian's fans (and you can count me squarely in that camp), be sure to read the afterword to this edition. In it Brian talks about this novel's importance not only to his mythos, but to the evolution of his craft. It's a quick piece, but it exemplifies many of the traits I value in Brian's writing: It's raw, it's real, it's emotional.
As for the novel, it's the aforementioned things and more. I've read enough Keene books now that compiling a best-of list would be really difficult to do. I'm not sure where I'd place EARTHWORM GODS on my list of favorite Keene reads, but rest assured it'd be included somewhere in there.
Perhaps the primary reason for this is the protagonist. Brian excels at deep characterization, and for that reason, we not only care about his characters, we come to know them and regard them as real people. That Brian's inspiration for this particular protagonist sprang from real life didn't surprise me; I feel as though I could drive out to the mountains, knock on a specific door, and hang out with Teddy for a while. I'd be sure to bring him a can of chewing tobacco.
So read EARTHWORM GODS. It's inventive, scary, and it manages to be both grand and intimate, a balancing act few writers can achieve.
Brian Keene can. And this novel is a splendid example of why he's regarded as one of the very best in the genre. -
Sometimes you just need to be entertained! If you're a fan of creature-features and character driven stories, when that time comes, choose Earthworm Gods!
This is a tale told mostly from the protagonist's point of view. His name is Teddy Garnett and he's a man over 80 years old and he's suffering from nicotine withdrawal. It has been raining in Teddy's neighborhood for what seems like forever. When Teddy ventures out to see what he can see, he realizes that almost everything is under water, including the nearest towns. There are no cigarettes or dips for poor Teddy. Soon after, a neighbor shows up at his door and together they face the end of the world.
There's much more to the tale than what I've mentioned so far. Leviathans, behemoths, sirens, and krakens. There are cults, yes, more than one!, Ob makes an appearance {kind of}, (readers of Keene's work will recognize that name), and Teddy does get a few more visitors eventually. Will they survive the flood? You'll have to read this to find out!
Things in my life are pretty stressful right now and this audio provided the perfect distraction. The narrator did a marvelous job and the characters seemed very real to me and I liked them. The writing here is vivid-it's very easy to picture everything that happens.
The author added some notes to the end of this edition about why this book was once called The Conqueror Worms and why that edition had a terrible cover. He also speaks about Teddy and Carl, (Teddy's best friend), and how they were loosely based on real men. He also talks about his on and off addiction to nicotine. I just KNEW the author was talking about himself when he talked about how badly Teddy wanted a dip. I guess one ex-smoker can recognize the symptoms and cravings of another. I think that all of these things contributed to the real-ness of the story.
Lastly, yes-I do deem this a creature feature, but just like in most zombie stories, it's not about the zombies or the worms, it's about the characters. This is a character driven story as far as I'm concerned and I enjoyed the hell out of it!
*I bought this audio with my hard earned cash and I'm glad I did.* -
This was my first Keene novel and aside from the title I wasn’t sure what to expect, but a story that features giant worms (and other large beings) was exactly the enjoyably thriller story that I’d hoped it would be.
If other Keene novels are this much fun - then consider me sold!
I was instantly hooked on the crappy 80 year old Teddy Garnett and loved the manner that he narrates the events of the apocalypse in a scatty but charming way.
There’s enough short hand pop cultural references that he would be aware of that gave his recounts a sense of realism.
While the middle section is even more bizarre and epic as the events are told through a different narrator, the story isn’t any less thrilling.
This 1950’s monster movie vibe set in a modern backdrop is highly recommended! -
Satanists on surfboards. A mermaid. Giant worms and Cthulhu. And an End Time rain with two old mountain coots getting to play Beowulf. This is the good stuff. The Conqueror Worms is the second book I've read by Brian Keene (The Rising being the first), and I'm really impressed by this guy. The sheer gusto of his B-movie imagination leaves me hopeful for the future of Horror fiction. In one sense, I'm left thinking Keene is very Old School (see Giant Bug movies from the 50s), but not totally. Conqueror Worms is very much a post 9-11 effort. Keene gives voice to the apocalyptic anxieties, whether it be terrorism or environmental collapse, that currently fill the air, and labels them Behemoth and Leviathan. Bible labels, to be sure, but you can see how Keene is constructing his own mythology, which I fully expect to show up in later novels - much like King's Dark Tower effort. Keene may not have any intention of knitting it all together, but is there a need to? Just hints here and there (much like Lovecraft) of the Labyrinth are more than enough to get the reader's dread going overtime.
The Conqueror Worms is basically two stories in one. The first, told by Teddy Garnett, an 80-something WW II vet, who lies wounded in his rain-soaked house, waiting for help or death. Garnett has to be Keene's best character yet. He is fully realized, his voice consistently strong throughout the novel. His likes (chewing tobacco) and dislikes (bad neighbor Earl), his memories of his beloved wife, Rose, his loneliness and anxiousness over the fate of his children and grandchildren, ratchet things up effectively. Garnett's voice never seemed cliched to me, and you're just simply going to like this guy - and his friend Carl Seaton. A bit less realized is the other tale teller, Kevin, a refugee from underwater Baltimore. His story is a wild one however, and any comparison with Teddy is probably unfair, since Teddy has lived a longer, fuller life. Eventually, these stories converge on a mountain in West Virginia. Time is short, but the characters, despite the hopelessness of it all, refreshingly hold on to their humanity, because in the End maybe that's all you will have as a comfort while the rain beats down and the worms continue to tunnel underneath. -
ALL HAIL THE EARTHWORM GODS!
This is one spectacular achievement for the horror genre and I cannot wait to devour more stories by Keene. -
Reading for Jare's
2010 Spills & Chills Release Challenge.
I haven't read a book where the main protagonist is a crabby 80 year old guy since struggling through King's Insomnia many moons ago. Fortunately, this story is much more interesting. This guy is a lone survivor (or so it seems) in a world nearly buried under water. He has the misfortune to live high up on a secluded mountain when most others have perished in the floods and he faces long days of loneliness, isolation and day after day of rain. His only friend is a little robin who visits each morning and brightens up his otherwise gloomy existence. But then the giant earth worms explode on the scene and begin to wreak havoc. It sounds like a wild premise for a great B horror movie but the characterization makes it all real and surprisingly compelling.
So far this is a very good apocalypse novel that moves at a crisp pace. The characters are nicely developed with only one annoying me with his heavy handed ghetto speak. The author doesn't throw everything in your face and leaves you and the characters in suspense wondering what awful thing is going to happen next. -
This was my first time reading Brian Keene, and I was excited! I wanted to like this story, giant worms eating everything in their path, end of the world and nature's victory over human power...Unfortunately I felt deceived by the title and about what really happened in the book - where are the worms? They were mere filler barely getting any attention, I felt like this was a worm version of Where is Waldo, tough to spot with many pages that did not belong there.
It started off interesting, I was glued to the first ninety pages when I met Teddy and Carl but then pretty fast the story took on a whole different turn and it was no longer about worms. One third into the story I felt trapped in the twilight zone with no way out, skimming pages in order to simply finish the bloody book - mermaids, Satanists, mythological sea monsters, human sacrifices, yikes...a big mess of a tale within a tale that frustrated and actually bored me, I no longer cared who lived and who died, no one was interesting and worst of all instead of answers I was given more questions. The dialogue was choppy and the main character sounded the same as the other main character in the middle tale - told ya it's a confusing book. I can't remember the last time I had such a miserable time with a book, bleh.
I can honestly say that after reading the book I can appreciate the low star reviews, those who liked it - wow, you have guts of iron, I did not take this tale well at all and my mind can appreciate the bizarre. In fact I was angry after reading it because the entire middle did not belong in the book, it ruined the great premise that would have been very enjoyable if it stuck to the plot.
I wanted to read about the worms, not another story hidden in this book with some worm filler in beginning and the very end. Even for a library rental this was a weak prize since there are better books out there. Sadly I won't be recommending this to anyone I know, unless I don't like them much... -
Reminiscenze lovecraftiane in salsa b-movie anni 80/90, con un pizzico di country e Johnny Cash, il tutto annegato in un mare di pioggia e vermoni.
Di certo si parla di una situazione al limite dell'impossibile, ma con le continue piogge che hanno caratterizzato tutta l'estate appena passata, una scossa di brivido lungo la schiena l'ho avuta!
"Poi chiusi gli occhi e smisi di ascoltare." -
Okay, I could write a really long and detailed review of this book. I could go on and on about what an amazing and lovable character Teddy is or how Kevin was a strong and likable hero. I could give you plenty of details that included the creepy and genius decision of the author to let the entire story play out during a never ending rainstorm. And do not even get me started talking about the worms!
Sure, I could write a review like that, but really there is only one thing that needs to be said about this book...
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This was a great, fresh take on an apocalypse world. Great characters, monsters and a never-ending feeling of doom.
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Atmosfere anni 50, personaggi ben delineati, sembra davvero di essere in uno di quei Bmovie che diventano cult, mi son divertita ed alcune parti mi han fatto venire i brividi.
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I have nothing but the highest praise for Earthworm Gods. This story captured my imagination, as well as most of my waking hours the last two days, as I poured through this thing. Pardon the pun, but I was hooked. A little history from Brian Keene found in the Afterword of this story. If you're confused, like I was, about why there is a story called Earthworm Gods AND The Conquerer Worms. According to Keene, the story was originally published in hardcover in 2005 from Delirium Books as Earthworm Gods and quickly sold out. Dorchester was publishing Keene's paperbacks at the time and, for whatever reason, decided to change the name to The Conquerer Worms. So that's why there is all this confusion for when you're trying to buy this book. They are the one and the same folks and I think Keene has a voodoo doll that looks like the numb nuts at Dorchester that decided that this clusterf@#k of an idea was a good one and sticks pins in it daily. So now Deadite Press is making the Authors Preferred version of Earthworm Gods (with the correct name) and Keene endorses this whole-heartedly. And he should. This is just a wonderful story.
Keene mines H.G. Wells War of the Worlds, H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu, his grandfather and his best friend as main characters and his own nicotine addiction to form the backbone of this tale. Such personal experiences make for realistic characters and a feeling of familiarity that permeates through the story. The tale is laid out in three parts. The first introduces us to Teddy and his friend Carl, who are in their eighties. They live on a rural mountain in West Virginia where it has rained non-stop for over a month. The world is now underwater and the only places left are the very highest peaks of the earth. No lights, electricity, communications, radio, tv, cell phones, etc. Just rain, rain and more rain. Their world is starting to wash away and an ominous white fuzz is beginning to grow on living things, deer, trees, etc. Worms start piling up on Teddy's carport and the ground is beginning to rumble as a fishy, ammonia odor is evident in the air and around large "sink holes" that begin appearing. Then all hell beaks loose.
Part 2 takes us to the coast where another group of survivors are clinging to life in the top of a Baltimore skyscraper while the world is flooded around them. Attempting to survive, they try to keep away from a crazy group of "satanists" that are performing bizarre rituals on the top of a building off in the distance. Their rituals prove to be more than they appear and not only does Keene pull out his inner-Lovecraft, he also delves into his back catalog of The Rising and City of the Dead. Good stuff.
Part 3 is a marriage of the characters from parts 1 and 2 and thrusts the reader in a rain-soaked climax. Words can't express how much I enjoyed this book. For the last two days, every free moment of mine was consumed by Earthworm Gods. Keene gets my highest praises for this one. I can't wait to jump into Earthworm Gods II. My Kindle app is downloading it as we speak.
5 out of 5 stars
You can also follow my reviews at the following links:
https://kenmckinley.wordpress.com
https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/5...
http://www.amazon.com/gp/profile/A2J1...
TWITTER - @KenMcKinley5 -
EarthWorm Gods by Brian Keene
The second reading of this novel for me. An apocalyptic book that dwells on Lovecraftian Earthworms among other sea creature life. As the rain keeps falling, the Gods become more frightening and terrorizing for the main characters Keene builds for the reader. Sit back and enjoy the rain...and the chaos. -
Thrilling apocaplyptic madness from Brian Keene. This book got me so wrapped in it that I breezed through it in two days. Now I'm looking for the sequel. If you enjoy end-of-the-world survival horror stories, you can't go wrong with this one.
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As far a pulp horror books go, this one is pretty much perfect. Weird and gory and tense and surprising and even (at times) emotional and funny. I loved it.
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This book was good, but the last 30-40 pages were particularly great. The tension just keeps building, and everything comes to a head in just the right way, at just the right time.
If you’re a writer, the ending of Earthworm Gods should be a case study in horror for the denouement and conclusion alone. In that respect it is one of the highest watermarks in horror that I have read so far. -
Nobody Apocalypses like Brian Keene. Or as often. Whether by zombies (The Rising, City of the Dead, Dead Sea), a dark zone that appears on the edge of town (Darkness on the Edge of Town), a loud horn-like sound after which a large percentage of the population just isn’t there any more (Take the Long Way Home), giant crabs and miscellaneous other deep sea creepy creatures (Clickers 2-4), or any combination of the above, he does it better than anyone.
In the first Earthworm Gods book (there are 2) he does it with rain....rain and worms. At least to start. Lets just say if the land is bad, you don’t even want to hear about what is going on in the oceans.
And unlike the typical horror story where some scientist or shaman or bulked up guy with a shot gun kicks the monster’s butt and sends it home to whatever dark crevice or dimensional worm hole it came from, the cavalry is most likely a day late and a dollar short if they arrive at all. Keene takes these stories all the way to end.
The worms appear on the first page, folks, and the action just keeps steamrolling throughout the whole novel. Great characters if a bit (ok, a lot) stereotypical. You will care about them anyway. Naaaaasty creatures (the worms are just the beginning). Even nastier humans. Little hope of survival. Satanists on surf boards! I kid you not. Great fights, totally creepy scenes, huge doses of carnage and destruction, edge of your seat action.
A great big bag full of awesome. -
Earthworm Gods is oddly slow-paced and mundane for a novel featuring never-ending storms, world-swallowing floods, black magic, a murderous mermaid and, of course, gigantic earthworms. It's clear Keene is still learning his craft at this point, and it shows in his pacing, characterization, command of tone and his dialogue. Keene admits in the afterward that this novel is dear to him because, in writing it, he was training himself to do "voice" by channeling his very fond memories of his grandfather into our octogenarian protagonist. On the page this choice still reads as workmanlike rather than stylish, a point further driven home by the shift in POV for the middle portion of the novel, which doesn't vary enough in tone and diction to distinguish itself as being necessary for the story. All in all, Earthworm Gods has its share of cliches and eye-rolling sentimentality, but it is still entertaining enough, much like watching a competent straight-to-DVD monster movie with friends.
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I'm not one to normally read a Brian Keene novel (well, I have read three...I think), but when I saw the title of this one, and the fantastic campy-B-flick picture for a cover, I knew I had to read it. And, you know, it wasn't that bad. The first part of the book was a mid-post-apocalyptic tale that tells the story of how some of the characters are surviving. But Keene didn't think that a random monster book about the end of the world was enough. Enter the second half of the book. This half was straight from H.P. Lovecraft's playbook. There was definitely a Cthulhu mythos vibe permeating through the pages. Overall, not a bad book. If you have a few hours, and are open-minded, there are worse things that you could read.
RECOMMENDED -
If I could give half stars, I’d say 3.5/5.0 stars for this. I enjoy creature features, and this definitely fits the bill. This is my second book by Keene, and I did like this one a little better, maybe because it was a little less over the top on the gore. I think if I were a little more up on Lovecraft mythos, I may have enjoyed this a little more also. Overall, I’m glad I read it.
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This book is both exactly what I thought it wanted it to be, but also so much more than that.
What I wanted: a tense and fun creature feature involving gigantic worms that eat people. That box is checked for sure.
What I got instead: the giant worms are there, but so are well-developed characters I actually cared about, as well as slower-burn beginning for world building and suspense. The book also takes a turn in the second half that I was NOT expecting. No spoilers, but my jaw literally dropped open when I realized where it was going, and I immediately messaged several people I know who've read the book so I could gush about it. Like the book is instantly elevated from amazing to top 10 reads of the year.
I absolutely love the post-apocalyptic setup for this book. One day it started raining and then it never stopped. Such a simple yet chilling premise. The book starts some 40 days in after the rain began, and is written from the perspective of an elderly man named Teddy. Like any good creature feature we're given unnerving scenes of mysterious incidents to build up to the terrifying reveal of the mammoth worms. It's so creepy, and at the same time it does such a good job of populating the story with multi-faceted and engaging characters.
Like I said, the book takes some turns that shocked and surprised me. It also does a good job of pulling back the curtain some to show destruction on a global scale, while also shrouding the life-altering events in mystery to keep you guessing. It's not necessarily a "fast-paced" read, but it never stops moving and there are plenty of scenes involving intense action and suspense to keep the pages turning. This is my first book by Brian Keene, though I've always known him to be an author whom many consider a master in the field of horror. After reading this I can certainly see why, and I will definitely be seeking out more of his work! -
"Brian Keene is the next big thing in horror."
How many times have I heard that?
How many times have you heard that?
The Conqueror Worms is the third Keene book I've read. I enjoyed The Rising and City of the Dead. I thought they were both fun books that did some new things with the zombie genre. I thought Keene was a good writer, who showed a lot of promise.
Then came The Conqueror Worms.
The book is told for the most part by a mountain man who's lived long enough to see what amounts to the end of the world. You see, some forty-odd days ago, it started to rain worldwide, and it hasn't stopped since. Not once. The rain hasn't stopped and it's brought some terrible things with it. You know how earthworms surface after a hard rain? Well, pump that fact through Keene's fantastic imagination and you'll get The Conqueror Worms.
The story takes on a whole new facet about halfway through, when the narration switches to a former video store employee who's trying to survive in Baltimore. I won't spoil it for you, but let's just say that worms aren't the only thing that are surfacing...
I'll be entirely honest with you, this book was right up my alley. The perfect mix of horror and adventure-based science fiction, The Conqueror Worms made me a Keene Fan. I highly, highly recommend it.
www.falknerreviews.blogspot.com -
I must admit that Brian Keene knows how to write a really good Post Apocalyptic story. I'm still new to the Keene Universe, up until now the only other book's I've read are The Last Zombie graphic novels and The Rising novels. I've always enjoyed the compassion mixed with the horror that exists in some of the "good" characters of his stories. In Earthworms Gods the character of Teddy is an example of what I cherish most in Keene's work. It's a good counter balance to how cruel and harsh Keene's other characters can be.
The one thing I love the most about Brian Keene's books is that he has this ever growing universe existing in the background of most of his books. This was something of goat headed demonic baby he has been nursing since the early days of his career. In case you don't know "The Thirteen" are supernatural entities that have brief cameos in fan favorites like The Rising, Dark Hallow, Jack's Magic Beans and the book I've just finished Earthworm gods.
I finished this book with my good friends, Lisa, Krys, Mehmet, Ken, Pamela, and Tom. The link to our discussions on the book can be found here:
https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
Inside that link you'll find me gushing over Keene's lore and coming up with crazy theories involving The Thirteen. Come join our ever growing numbers as we continue forward with Brian Keene's other Earthworm Gods books. -
Mr. Keene does it again :)
Checklist of things for a great story....
* Cranky old fart living in a forest cabin missing his wife and complaining about his body's betrayal.
* Incessant rain.
* Worms.
* Cranky old fart's long-time friend who's a bit of a dumb-ass.
* More rain.
* Worms, lots of them.
* A bit more rain.
* A sprinkling of new, likeable characters.
* More rain, more worms.
* Bigger worms.
* Funny stories from cranky old fart.
* Much, MUCH bigger worms.
* MUCH, MUCH BIGGER WORMS AND THINGS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE GREAT PALS WITH SAID PHYLUM ANNELIDA.
I loved this book, not just because of the hideous beasties, (and I do love me some hideous beasties), but because I loved the characters, and could not put this down. When thezombieworm apocalypse arrives, I definitely want Brian Keene and all his characters on my team. -
Brian Keene and I have a very troubled history. Just to clarify, it is a very one-sided troubled history. I'm guessing Mr. Keene has never thought of me or been troubled by anything I have done historically. I really want to love his work, but he hurt me with his series "The Rising." He lured me into a literary windowless panel van with promises of candy and zombies, only to mind-f*ck me by turning the books into a religious battle between god and demons.
But I had been seeing "Earthworm Gods" in my kindle recommended section and then the group Horror Aficionados here on Goodreads chose "Aquatic Horror" as the summer reading theme and I knew I had to give Brian (May call you Brian?) another chance.
Just to clarify, there are giant earthworms in this book, so Brian has already done me better than my last foray into his world. But on top of that there are mermaids, a kurakkan (leviathan), devil worshippers, a smidge of H.P Lovecraft, little worms that take over people's brains, exploding seagulls and a global flood. When I tried to describe the storyline to someone, they said, "well, it sounds busy." and that is the thing. This would have been better off being marketed as a three story anthology set in the same world instead of one book, because the stories all together were "busy" indeed, and frankly were held together tentatively at best.
That being said, I already own the other two books in this series and am going to make a hard effort to read them this summer.
Clarification on this series and the titles of the books. If you go on goodreads and look this series up by the name "Earthworm Gods" you will find
Earthworm Gods,
Earthworm Gods II: Deluge, and
Earthworm Gods: Selected Scenes from the End of the World. If instead you look up the series as The Conqueror Worms, you will get
The Conqueror Worms, and
Deluge: The Conqueror Worms II,
Earthworm Gods: Selected Scenes from the End of the World. They are the same series, but published by different agencies and given different titles. Go figure! -
This was a quick fun read. Very typical Keene, so if you're a fan like me, you'll enjoy it. Having just read an amazing post apocalyptic book, I'd have to say that this one lacked something like substance, it was very much B movie material, sort of like Tremors. Still entertaining, though. Reminded me a lot of Keene's Dead Sea. Recommended for horror and/or Keene fans.
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Earthworm Gods completely surpassed my expectations, I thought it would be some over-the-top horror fun, which it was, however there was also skillful character development and moments of real emotion. I cared about the characters and quickly felt that I knew them well, this added a lot of extra depth to a story featuring epic monsters and an earth assaulted by a never ending torrent of rain. This is among the best of Brian's books that I've read so far and I'd highly recommend it.
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You ready to be sad or in a gloomy mood? Here you go. It rains non-stop an old man stuck on a mountain bc its basically the only land left bc of the non-stop raining water levels just keep rising. A white fungus if touched grows on you quickly and kills you. THERE ARE GIANT HUGE WORMS AND THEY ARE GROSS AND i NEVER KNEW I WAS SO GROSSED OUT BY WORMS. He later meets up with his friend and 2 strangers that survive a helicopter crash on the mountain. The 2 from the crash tell their story and it's pretty cool, its got a Siren leading people to their death like all sirens do. Surf board satanists doing as hardcore cliche satanists do.. so ritual murders, drugs, orgies, and bring up Cthulhu from the depths... you know the usual. That part was super fun, but as i said the books got a full doom and gloom mood and I'm not one for constant unending "bad times". Idk I like the more clearer happy end to my horror and this didn't have it. It was a good read don't get me wrong.
But yeah worms are gross.
Also: sad dog and puppy deaths :,(
Update: still upset about the dog deaths. Worms still gross.. want more surfboard Satanists.. like.. srsly, plz
Update update: still thinkin about the surfing satanists... that should be like a terribly good bad movie from the 80s or 90s. But this thought is tainted by icky worms and sad doggo and puppers deaths and 2 old guys that die that I liked in the story.. :( 3 stars are just for the cool dumb surfer idea lol -
Writing as a person who is not a good writer (Teddy Garnett) is the perfect method for Brian Keene. He fits into the role so flawlessly, it is hard to figure out if the words on the page are from Brian or Teddy. Maybe the book itself is a satire on Brian's poor writing skills.
Perhaps starting into the book by looking at the title and cover was the wrong approach. They say you should never judge a book by its cover, but somehow, the cover describes the novel perfectly. Five giant earthworms poke out of a city street, apparently trying to escape the novel they were cruelly forced into, and I can't say I blame them. They would make for better company than this book. If it were a B-movie, this illustration would be the poster, with a subscript saying, "They're eating more than dirt this time." But perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself. (Caution: Grimy, icky, yucky, oozy, slimy, spoilers. Only read ahead if you have a strong stomach for bad stories.)
