Living Nonviolent Communication: Practical Tools to Connect and Communicate Skillfully in Every Situation by Marshall B. Rosenberg

Living Nonviolent Communication: Practical Tools to Connect and Communicate Skillfully in Every Situation Reviews

• 
  Beckett

  It's a difficult read (for me - because it's not a story) but well worth the time. I needed help speaking with both my son and students in a way that respects and empathizes with their own "stuff" instead of taking things personally. Honestly, I'm just sick of being defensive all the time. I don't have enough practice yet, but I plan to attend some seminars and read all his other books. A world without war. holla.
• 
  Ana

  “Don’t mix up that which is habitual with that which is natural.”- Gandhi
  
  Read it. Take notes.
  
  Before reading this book I suggest you read
  Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, a book about foundations of NVC, and then come back to read this more practical companion.
  
  Here you'll get stories from Rosenberg's workshops, role-playing dialogues and stories from his personal life. He really breaks it down into simple steps and shows how much relief and joy people find when they connect with each other from place of empathy and compassion even in high conflict situations and relationships that previously brought them a lot of pain.
  
  I want to learn more about how to implement NVC in my life. The steps seem simple but nothing seems easy about this process. We're not educated to think in terms of feelings and needs and the judgmental way we speak and think is always causing problems, but Marshall says that it's not about being perfect, just progressively less stupid and that's something worth keeping in mind.
  
  I know I'll come back to this book a lot.
• 
  John Stepper

  I would give this book 6 stars if I could. It has the power to change how you relate to others and yourself.
  
  As much as I appreciated NVC, hearing (or seeing) Rosenberg talk to an audience about it and interact with them brings the concepts to life. Reading this book, largely excerpts from workshops he has done, is like watching him practice. It gave me a much deeper and also more practical sense of how I can apply NVC in everyday situations.
• 
  Kevan

  Like Rosenberg's main book, this introduces life-changing theories for how to think and speak. A sequel of sorts to the original, it uses case studies, dialogue to help unpack and explain the value of non-violent communication. I found myself wishing I had obtained the foundation first, which I subsequently did by reading the original.
• 
  Saar Steverlinck

  Heel erg interessant boek. Ik wou dat ik dit al altijd in elke situatie kon toepassen. Veel notities genomen! De uitgeschreven workshops brengen het geweldloos communiceren echt tot leven.
• 
  Satoita

  I wish there were training courses online for Nonviolent Communication, but for now I will read all I can and practice when I remember. I am already noticing ways I can improve.
• 
  Dave

  Brilliant,and so very very important. A copy of this book would be an incredibly valuable to everyone-who struggles with communication issues-particularly those folks who think that OTHER people are the ones with the issues.
  #ESSENTIAL
• 
  Areski

  A great completion to the first "Nonviolent communication" book. Great chapter about anger.
• 
  Bruna Rangel

  Um livro excelente para quem já conhece a Comunicação Não Violenta e quer aprimorar.
  
  Em resumo: a Comunicação Não Violenta propõe repensarmos a forma que fomos condicionados a pensar e a nos relacionarmos com os outros. Podemos repensar, e consequente mudar, nossa perspectiva, nossa forma de pensar e principalmente nossa comunicação (com nós mesmos e com os outros).
  
  Desde que li pela primeira vez, a CNV virou o meu modelo de vida e quero me aprimorar muito mais e adquirir cada vez mais confiança para aplicar e também ensinar. Nessa obra, temos diversos casos práticos e discussões e reflexões mais aprofundadas sobre certos assuntos.
  
  Muitas vezes não percebemos como os julgamentos, críticas e até conselhos nos afastam dos outros em vez de promover uma relação aberta e honesta, pautada na compaixão e na vontade real dos outros de atender os nossos pedidos (e não fazer o que queremos por medo, culpa ou vergonha).
  
  Recomendo começar pelo livro Comunicação Não Violenta do mesmo autor e depois ler esse.
• 
  Jorrit Hazeleger

  Ik werd agressief van dit boek. Ik zal je drie redenen geven waarom: 1. Het boek bestond voor 90% uit gespreksverslagen van de workshops geweldloze communicatie. Dat is je er wel heel makkelijk vanaf maken als schrijver. 2. De inhoud was extreem zweverig en zijig. Als christen ben ik zeker niet vies van een beetje spiritualiteit, maar je kan ook overdrijven. 3. Het gedachtegoed Geweldloze Communicatie zelf werd ik ook niet bepaald door geïnspireerd. Kortom, snel vergeten dit boek.
• 
  Livia Vozaryova

  Kniha, kde sú jasne definované potreby a pocity ako aj spôsob ako ich rozlíšiť. Tak isto je tu vysvetlené ako nenásilne komunikovať s okolím a so sebou a ako zvládať hnev.
  Kniha mi prišla pod ruky v pravý čas.
• 
  Lovrenc

  Living Nonviolent Communication is a book, that talks about how we are, as society, use the language and communication the wrong way. The author labels this kind of language violent because we are using it to express ourself but aggressively and can cause pain and bad blood in relationships and life in general.
  
  In this book through examples and explaining, the author presents the " nonviolent communication" or "NVC" for short. He explains that the we need to listen empatheticlly, to hear and express feelings and needs of each other that aren't met, because this are cause the problems in life.
  
  If you want to fix your life to live it better and for others to feel better too, I recommend this book because it will really help to you and all around you. Simple question and listening: What are you feeling and which needs aren't met?"
• 
  Carolyn Carter

  It’s a good read. Light and easy, with simple chapter structures. Rosenberg writes in this book as an interviewer and participant. His chapters are structured in this way between interviewer posing a question and interviewee answering it.
  
  I found myself getting frustrated at his writing format and wishing he would present his material in a lecture format and not question and answer. Because he wrote in this way, there wasn’t much discussion beyond the question and answer format, and his prodding for deeper answers of his participants that he lists in each chapter. However, after looking into this book, I realized it’s a companion for his initial NVC book, which I will need to read to get more of the base I’m looking for.
  
  
• 
  Emily Roach

  I very much think that the world would be a better place if everyone learned about NVC. Not in the same way that I think it would be a better place if everyone tried chai tea, but like, in an actual way. I want to hold this book like a dear baby.
  
  The tenants of NVC are genius but SO SIMPLE. This book contains tons of examples and situational role-playing so that you can see how it really works in real life, which is very helpful. There are tons of clips from Marshall's seminars on YouTube and they're SO worth watching!
• 
  Dooug

  I've learned a lot and reflected on my own relationships, communication, and conflicts thanks to this book. I'm not a big fan of the dialog / transcript format though. A motivating read, I see the real value of the book is finding time to practice in our lives. the potential of healing with empathy leaves me optimistic, but also more aware of the omnipresence of suffering in how we've been socialized.
• 
  Naomi

  Filled with dialogues and helpful examples of the principles of Nonviolent Communication in action, this book makes those principles easier to understand and practice for those of us who do best with stories for learning (for each dialogue becomes a story). Great for small group study.
• 
  Akhil Jain

  My fav quotes (not a review):
  "If I say, “I’d like you to go to the show with me Saturday night,” it’s pretty clear what I want on Saturday night, but it doesn’t necessarily make clear what I want from them at that moment. At that moment I may want them to tell me whether they would be willing to go. I may want them to tell me how they feel about going with me. I may want them to tell me whether they have any reservations about going, and so forth. The more we can be clear about what response we’re wanting right now, the more quickly conflict can move toward resolution."
  "“NVC ears.” [Laughter as Marshall dons a set of NVC ears.] NVC ears serve as a translator: no matter what language the other person speaks, when we have these ears on, we only hear NVC. For example, the other person says, “The problem with you is ____;” but with NVC ears, I hear, “What I would like is ______.” I hear no judgment, criticism, or attack."
  "Notice she didn’t say, “I feel frustrated and hurt because you watch television.” She doesn’t blame me for her feelings, but she attributes them to her own needs: “I feel ____ because I ____.” People who judge, on the other hand, would express their feelings this way: “You hurt me when you watch television while talking to me.” In other words: “I feel ____ because you _____.” Now the fourth question: “What would you like me to do to make life wonderful for you?” PARTICIPANT B: When you are in a conversation, I would appreciate it if you would look into my eyes, as well as tell me back what you heard me say. MARSHALL: Okay. Did everybody hear the four things? “When you watch television while I am talking, I feel frustrated and hurt because I would really like some appreciation or attention regarding what I am saying. Would you be willing to look me in the eye while I’m talking and then afterward repeat back what you heard me say and give me a chance to correct it if it isn’t what I meant to say?”"
  "So if, after the empathy, I see them looking at me, I usually say, “Would you like to hear how I feel about what you said?” Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don’t want to hear how I feel."
  "Nonviolent Communication requires that a very important word come after the word because—the word I, not the word you."
  "It’s not enough to just pour that out. I need him to get it; I need him to hear it empathically. That doesn’t mean he has to agree; he doesn’t even have to change his behavior. I just need him to hear what goes on in me."
  "How I choose to look at that situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse. There’s not a thing another person can do that can make me angry. Any thinking that is in my head that involves the word should is violence-provoking. I don’t think we get angry because our needs aren’t getting met. I think we get angry because we have judgments about others. Anger is a natural feeling created by unnatural thinking. I’m not saying that it is wrong to judge people. What’s important is to be conscious that it’s that judgment that makes us angry."
  
• 
  Marissa

  This is another one of those
  Marshall Rosenberg books where it's like, look, if this is the one NVC book your library has, then check it out and learn about the method. But if you have access to
  Nonviolent Communication, I have no idea why you should bother with this book.
  
  The really irritating thing about all Rosenberg's NVC books is that he uses the same examples over and over. The prisoner who said he wouldn't have had to kill his friend, the husband and wife at war over spending, the anti-Semitic cabbie -- they're all here, and they're all in all his other books. The man did this for 50 or so years, but every time he wanted to write about the people he helped, he came back to the same tiny cast of characters. I don't understand it at all.
  
  That being said, this book offers the same basic information as the other ones of his I've read, so, again, if this is the one you can get your mitts on, then it's as good as any. A lot of the book is just transcribed dialogue from Rosenberg's workshops (which admittedly feels like quasi-icky double dipping -- i.e. it just feels a little off for the NVC folks to be selling access to a workshop and also transcriptions of the workshop). I liked the dialogue format more in some places than in others. At its best it's a really in-depth exploration of one particular problem; at worst it's gimmicky.
  
  I'm three books into Rosenberg's NVC catalog and I have a lot of questions that I suspect his books will never answer. (Is apology always violence? What if I spill my coffee on your shirt???) But I do appreciate becoming versed in his communication principles.
• 
  Daniel Hardy

  It wasn't exactly what i thought, but i found it really useful. Some of the communication techniques would work best if both parties had read the book (some required a level of give-and-take that wouldn't be easy if only one party was using the techniques) but a lot of the book would be really helpful for someone who just wanted to be able to help ensure the other party understood that they were really trying to understand and help them.
  It's got a "Mr. Rodgers" type feel to it- gentle and a little hippie but reasonable when you understand it. He doesn't paint himself as a perfect example of a nonviolent communicator either- he explains how sometimes he fails at his attempts and how he course-corrects.
  Anyone could benefit from this but as someone working in a psych facility and planning on going into an advanced practice role, I think this book will really be helpful for me.
• 
  Francesco Petretto

  Marshall Rosenberg has created one of the most powerful tools that has been ever created.
  
  By introducing the world to Non Violent Communication he's giving us the wonderful opportunity to contribute to the enrichment of the lives of others as well as our own, through true connection.
  
  We are born with these abilities, however, through modern education we un-learn these natural processes and instead we use means of punishment and awards to meet our needs.
  
  Marshall teaches us how to re-learn these natural skills and he does so through a very understandable and comprehensive book.
  Must read! It will change your life
• 
  Tiffany

  NVC is one of my short list of “life changing” books. Reading this book years after I’d first become introduced to the concepts really brought them to life.
  
  Most of the chapters consisted of excerpts and dialogues taken from live workshops, which were fascinating to read. I also love how this book gave a more complete, “human” picture of Marshall and what happens inside of him as he practices nvc.
  
  Super powerful info and an opportunity to experiment with a huge shift in thinking and communication away from how we are conditioned to in our culture.
  
  Yes, yes, and more yes.
• 
  Quentin Paquette

  Even if you are dubious about the mechanics or the method, you should read this book for the underlying concept. If you are feeling divided from your neighbor, is it enough to feel superior and justified? Or, do you have a need to live in community?
  [Mr. Rosenberg also stresses that it is not the method that is important, but the underlying alignment of your self, both towards others and to your own needs.]
• 
  Elke DP

  Nuttig advies staat hier verstopt tussen 'gesprekken' die zeer moeilijk zijn om te lezen. Ik begon delen diagonaal te lezen en ontdekte dat ik door de vele herhalingen niet zoveel miste. Hoofdstuk zes ('spiritualiteit') zelfs.volledig geskipt. Waar ik zelf het meest nood aan had, de hoofdstukken over boosheid en implementeren bij kinderen zijn helaas ook minder goed uitgewerkt. Misschien dat het originele boek, en niet deze 'praktische gids' beter is.
• 
  Ivy

  This book has a good procedure to try to personalize and implement when you want to improve your interpersonal communication skills. Sometimes it's presented in a roundabout way and I don't always agree with Rosenberg's premises, but definitely the application of these principles can be beneficial for both avoiding and resolving conflict.
  
  "When you _____, I feel ____ because I ______."
  
  Focus on personal feelings and needs, minimal mention of others actions and past events.
• 
  Mar

  Okay book. He gives a lot of examples from sessions he's led in prisons, marriage counselling etc. Basically Rosenberg believes we're not great at communicating our "needs" as opposed to our strategies. We need to practice hearing what people actually mean and use positive present language with one another.
• 
  Adrianne

  This book profoundly changed my life and my perspective. A lot of what he explains in this book were ideas and thoughts that I already had about how violent communication has become. I really believe that everyone should be required to read this to communicate more effectively and to resolve conflicts for the best of everyone involved.
• 
  Patricia Soares

  Eu comecei assistindo a um workshop do Marshall e depois li esse livro, que, pelo que eu vi, é uma compilação de outros títulos.
  Como são vários livros em um, algumas coisas são repetidas, mas eu acho isso um ponto positivo, porque serve pra rever coisas importantes.
  O texto é bem claro e tem muuita coisa construtiva.