The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy J. Keller

The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness Reviews

• 
  midnightfaerie

  The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness can be summed up in one sentence, "I don't care what you think, and I don't care what I think." Keller expounds on the premise that his sins and his identity are not connected. His accomplishments and his identity are not connected. We need to stop judging ourselves, that is already done for us. We still sin, but we are loved. "My conscience is clear," he says, "but that does not make me innocent."
  
  Keller uses a quote from Madonna to better be able to relate his idea.
  
  Madonna says, "My drive in life comes from a fear of being mediocre. I push past one spell of it and discover myself as a special human being but then I feel I am still mediocre and uninteresting unless I do something else. Because even though I have become somebody, I still have to prove that I am somebody. My struggle has never ended and I guess it never will."
  
  Keller says Madonna's plight is a common one. It's because we get our self-worth from our ego which is insatiable. We need to stop focusing on us, good or bad, and focus on others. He talks about C.S. Lewis's view of humbleness from his book Mere Christianity. (One of my favorites, by the way.) Lewis says if we met a truly humble person we'd never come away from them thinking they were humble. They would not be telling us they were a nobody because someone who does that is really self-obsessed. The thing we would remember from meeting a truly humble person is:
  "...how much they seemed to be totally interested in us. Because the essence of humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less."
  
  I really like this idea. This little book takes you on a a trip through your conscienceness and self-worth, making you examine how and how often you view yourself. How often do you put yourself in judgment? How often do you compare yourself to others? I know I do it constantly. I mean, what is my accomplishment of reading so many books if everyone has read the same amount? But I also realized I do some of this "unthinking of self". Every time I meet someone new (which being an extrovert, I love), I know, if you can get someone talking, most people really like to talk about themselves. You just have to find the right avenue. And the more I know about someone, the more I see them on the inside, what makes them shine, the more I can love them.
  
  I'm a Christian, so my God calls me to love people like this. But I don't think this concept has to be viewed from a Christian standpoint. Wouldn't the world be a little better if everyone tried to love a little more? Yes, it sounds cheesy, but when I start to censor myself because I think it's too much rainbows and flowers, I think to myself, dammit, we need more rainbows and flowers. And even if people don't admit it, they like it too, and they'd jump in with love if it came to that. Think of 911. Or more recently, the Boston bombings. Think of all the people that ran to and not away from the blast right after it happened. Perhaps I'm an optimist but I believe there's some part of all of us that wants to be that person. The one that runs toward the blast instead of away from it. The one who goes into the crumbling building to rescue someone they don't know because it's been hit by a plane. The one who stands in front of a gun pointed at a child in a school shooting.
  
  I think Keller has a good point here and it can be applied anywhere with anyone. It's a relatively small book, only about fifty pages long. That's probably my biggest beef with it. I would have liked to see more. Maybe some more references to real life experiences and examples. I think a lot of areas of the book could have been expanded on. Overall, I really enjoyed it. I think it teaches a good lesson, and those that focus on themselves less and others more are generally happier people.
  
  
  ClassicsDefined.com
• 
  Steve Hemmeke

  In a booklet barely 40 pages long, Keller explains 1 Corinthians 3:21-4:7 and tackles pride, ego, despair, self-esteem and the condemnation of others and ourselves.
  
  The more I read Keller the more I see a standard format that I like: not A, and not B, but C. Where the world falls into one ditch or the other, he shows the Way.
  
  Here, the two ditches are low self-esteem and high self-esteem. Traditional cultures have dealt with guilt and explained sin by pointing to pride. We think too highly of ourselves and so misbehave. Modern culture deals with guilt and explains sin by pointing to low self-esteem: we think too lowly of ourselves and so misbehave!
  
  Keller says, looking to 1 Corinthians 3-4, neither is right. Not even our own clear conscience justifies us. Instead of looking to ourselves for a guilty or innocent verdict, we look to Jesus Christ who has already brought us a verdict of innocent.
  
  So we are free to forget ourselves. This is the great insight of this booklet. We are free from judging ourselves all the time. Our ego is busy, always comparing us to someone else and concluding that we fall short or that we are better. This falls into the ditch either way. Instead we should look to Christ's performance for our judgment and work for him.
• 
  Natalie Vellacott

  Not sure what to make of this effort from the widely acclaimed Tim Keller. It is the first book I have read by the author due to being warned away from him by someone who shall remain nameless.
  
  I agree with him in principle that self-forgetfulness is a worthy goal for a Christian and that we could all do with a greater focus on others rather than ourselves. However, suggesting that we should not care at all what people think of us could lead to a lack of accountability or the encouragement of an independent spirit that goes where it pleases having apparently received special revelation from God. Iron sharpens iron and we need our Christian brothers and sisters to keep us on track. I think the author is trying to make the point that we should primarily pay attention to what God wants rather than what others say, but surely God uses others to guide and direct us.....
  
  I also wasn't impressed with his admiration of Madonna due to her work ethic....
  
  This is a small booklet and it's difficult to make a proper assessment after such a short read. I'm reading another of Keller's books now so watch this space!
• 
  Tim Casteel

  Super short book. Some would say Keller was mailing it in. I thought it was great. And I think it might be the gospel message this generation needs, based on I Cor 4:4: "My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me."
  
  "[Paul] does not look to them for the verdict nor, does he look to himself for the verdict.
  What Paul is looking for…what we are all looking for, is an ultimate verdict that we are important and valuable."
  
  Modern people think "my conscience is clear". There is no guilt. So when we present a guiltiness before God, it falls on deaf ears: "I am true to myself."
  
  Keller does a good job of showing how self-acceptance is not the answer.
  We need a verdict from outside of ourselves and our culture.
• 
  Théo d'Or

  I think there is a concrete correlation between low intelligence and the tendency to self-delusion, self-lying.
  I mean, the lower the IQ, the longer one can believe in a fiction/ appearance that he experiences as real. This is where the drama of the intelligent one who looks at the happiness of the least intelligent is really formed, because the latter can tell himself his own stories, for to stay asleep, while the former is doomed to eternal awakening by the sense of reality.
  Finally, I see freedom of self-forgetfulness as an independence of illusion. I mean - to be free, means first of all to be able to lead a life in which you accept things as they are, without having to deny them, or to decorate them, in order to face existence, to do what you like every day - without having a specific purpose in it - not having to lie yourself about anything - that's one of the few things I haven't changed my mind about, lately. This is freedom.
• 
  Miwaza Jemimah

  How to live freely and joyfully in God. Awesome book. Life changing.
  
  "The essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less" - Tim Keller
  
  Here is a sermon from 2002 by Tim Keller on "Blessed Self-Forgetfulness"
  
  
  http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/...
• 
  Ezra

  In this teeny weeny book, Keller shows us Pauls self forgetfulness and whats more is he shows it to be a verymuch attractive and relieving lifestyle, something to aim for to be sure.
  
  Second read edit:
  
  I've read this book multiple times now and I think it hits home more every time. Maybe it's that I've lived a little more life than last I read it. Kellers talk seems so very relevant and so simple. I wish I would remember every word in this book and put it to use daily. Great stuff.
• 
  Priscila Dinah

  "A humildade do evangelho mata a necessidade que tenho de pensar em mim."
• 
  Justin

  A Mary Kay Barnett recommendation. Well worth the hour or so it will take to read.
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  Nermine Hosni

  نحن عادة لا نسمع أناساً واثقين بأنفسهم جداً ويقولون انهم اسوأ الجميع ونحن لسنا معتادين سماع شخص صادق يعترف بجميع مفاسده الاخلاقيه رغم منزلته الرفيعة وثقته الشديدة بنفسه
  
  ان التواضع وفق مفهوم الكتاب المقدس يعني عدم حاجتي الي التفكير في نفسي وعدم حاجتي الي ربط الامور بشخصيتي بل هو التوقف عن التفكير بالمنطق التالي : مادمت موجوداً مع هؤلاء الاشخاص في هذه الغرفة هل هذا يجعلني اظهر بمظهر الشخص المهم ؟ وهل انا راغب في وجودي هنا ؟ فالتواضع بمفهوم الكتاب المقدس يعني ان اتوقف عن ربط كل عمل او حديث بنفسي كما يعني ايضاً ان اتوقف عن التفكير في نفسي انها حرية نسيان الذات
  
  الحقيقة انه كلما زاد فهمنا لكلمة الله زادت رغبتنا في التغيير ألا ترغب في ان تكون شخصاً لا ينتظر الاكرام من الناس ولا يخشاه ؟ كذلك ألا ترغب ان تكون شخصاً لا يتوق الي سماع عبارات المدح والثناء من الآخرين ولكنه في الوقت نفسه لا يخشي سماعها ؟
  
  ففي وسعنا ان نستمتع بالاشياء التي لا نقوم بها نحن او التي لا تخصنا فما اقوم به هو ليس لتمجيد ذاتي فالحقيقة هي اني استطيع ان استمتع بالامور كما هي
  
  فلأن الله يحبني ويقبلني ، انا لست مضطراً الي القيام بأي عمل لبناء سيرتي الذاتية وانا لست مضطراً الي القيام بأي شئ كي اظهر بمظهر حسن بل يمكنني القيام بالامور لمجرد التمتع بالقيام بها ويمكنني ان اساعد الناس لمجرد تقديم يد العون اليهم لا لكي اعزز مشاعري تجاه نفسي ولا لكي املأ الفراغ الذي اشعر به في اعماقي
• 
  Beau

  The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness fits into that category of books where it's so small but so incredibly rich and insightful that it needs to be read twice a year (at least!) Keller's querying of the human heart, centring around it's ego and subsequent prideful state at times, had me reflecting on my own sense of pride and a lot of questions came up which will no doubt shape a lot of my thoughts and actions henceforth.
• 
  Derek Jones

  Literally, if you’ve never read this I don’t want to talk to you again until you have. 45 measly pages of pure gold.
• 
  Erin

  Sometimes the most powerful books are the shortest ones. I could re-read this one every week and still find conviction and encouragement. May we all learn to live to think not less of ourselves, but think of ourselves less.
• 
  Amy

  Powerful and insightful essay about identity in Christ. Really helpful word picture that hit me at the right time. I am so grateful to the people who recommended it!
• 
  Charlotte Vazquez

  Feels strange to rate a book that’s read felt more like the read of an article…but a splendid little read at that. Short but full of rich truth and needed reflections!
• 
  Jordan Shirkman

  Short, helpful, biblical, challenging. Classic Keller.
• 
  Cody Zedaker

  Read during my lunch break. Super easy but beneficial read. CS Lewis's pride chapter messed up my whole life freshman year of college and this felt like a good reminder of how obsessed with myself I am.
  
  Not counting towards my reading goal because it's basically an essay.
• 
  Ada Tarcau

  I have first read the book a few years back and i remember it had struck a really deep chord in me. That diagnosis of the empty, swollen, painful, busy, fragile ego that crumbles under criticism, that deflates and is self-defeating in the face of failures - did seem such a sharp description of my disease. The image followed me for years, all the while that "deep humility and profound joy" being a star of mine to wish upon. But i remember that even then the path to get there remained in the fog (yes, I understood that I failed to let only His verdict matter, but i could not force upon myself the belief that this verdict is simply Christ’s won verdict substituting mine on account of simply me believing it.. there’s plenty of uneasy “work out your salvation”-type of exhortations all over scripture, not least in the words of Jesus, “not everyone who says Lord Lord…but only the one who does the will of my Father“, and the judgement of identity - goat/sheep - on account of our doings or the lack thereof), which make me question whether it is right to make no kind of connections between our sins and our identity, as the booklet suggests … but I do agree our doing must not come out of proving our worth/gaining our verdict (there is but failure in the attempt) but rather our doing should flow out of our worth in the deeply loving eyes of God, “be imitators of God as beloved children”, we do to become who we really are, though I do not comprehend this very well… 

  
  Now, at my second reading, i find the solution even less satisfactory, as i have gotten into much trouble being a forgetful type of person that easily drifts into interior musings and becomes unaware of matters pertaining to the mundane reality or unaware of how i come across to those around me in familiar everyday settings (otherwise I still find the diagnostic of the book very telling and sadly still true of me). But what I mean is there is a significant thread of exhortations - that I know I fall short of - to be awake, watchful, attentive, self-examining with regard to personal failures (“the log in your eye”), that seems somehow very different from a self-forgetful attitude, but perhaps i compare apples with pears, perhaps both can be true: to be vigilant about the ways of your heart and also self-forgetful. I do see there is something true, liberating and loving in the true sort of self-forgetfulness, but it is hard to articulate it in a still sinful person in a manner that separates it from a “head-in-the-clouds” sort of forgetfulness. Anyway, i have been reading “Humility” by Andrew Murray lately, and his description of the solution of humility ("the displacement of self by the enthronement of God") seems more full and solid to me, though surely both books speak of the same heart-attitude. He talks about viewing ourselves as empty vessels (instead of full with arrogance, ambition, self-realisation, vain deceit/glory, control, self-righteousness) as truly, everything good that we are and do comes from God alone, the Creator and Sustainer. When we understand ourselves to be nothing apart from God, when we realise our possition, our dependance, our limitations and our hopelessly deceitful, desperately wicked bending of our heart, we can relish in our God-given glorious opportunity to empty ourselves so that God can be all in us. What’s more, this is the way the meek and lowly in heart Christ modeled: emptying Himself, doing/speaking nothing of Himself but only what the Father sent Him to do and to speak, seeking not His will/glory but that of the Father, one sublime example (apart from the cross, of course) being the victory in the wilderness over Satan’s temptations for popularity, recognition, power&glory.
• 
  Ainsley

  This slender volume is a tremendous little read. It's very accessible, whether you're a Christian or not. Tim Keller asserts that before the 20th century, we assumed all problems were due to thinking of oneself too highly--high self-esteem--and that since the 20th century, we attribute all problems to not loving ourselves enough--low self-esteem. And he proposes a third way:
  
  "...the problem with self-esteem--whether it is high or low--is that, every single day, we are in the courtroom. Every single day, we are on trial...some days we feel we are winning the trial and other days we feel we are losing it. But Paul says that he has found the secret. The trial is over for him. He is out of the courtroom."
  
  Keller's take on pride, which really comes from CS Lewis, was new to me. Pride eliminates my ability to take pleasure in things about myself, because it really is enjoyment of the fact that I have more of whatever that is than someone else. Someone comes into my orbit with more than me, and poof! All my happiness is gone.
  
  There's a beautiful description of what a self-forgetful life can be like:
  "Wouldn't you like to be the skater who wins the silver, and yet is thrilled about those three triple jumps that the gold medal winner did? To love it the way you love a sunrise? Just to love the fact that it was done? For it not to matter whether it was their success or your success. Not to care if they did it or you did it. You are as happy that they did it as if you had done it yourself - because you are just so happy to see it."
  
  Why yes, yes I would like some of that kind of life.
  Thanks, Tim Keller, for a book that's hopeful, insightful, and not heavy-handed--pointing to what's possible.
  
• 
  Jeff

  How can a 40 pg book be so life changing? Keller expounds on 1 Cor 3:21-4:7. He fully explains what Paul means by not caring what others think about him, how a court would judge him and doesn't even judge himself.
  
  He writes about high and low self esteem and how neither of them are legitimate. The only thing that matters is what the Lord thinks of us. And that is based on the gospel. Because God imputes his righteousness to us when we are born again, we can do things for the joy of doing them, not because we want to build our self esteem or even try to become more humble.
  
  With the gospel, the verdict comes first, then the performance follows. Jesus went on trial for us. All that matters is how He sees us.
  
  This would be good to read multiple times, maybe once a year.
  
  Only 2.74 at Westminster. Buy them for your friends.
  
  http://www.wtsbooks.com/product-exec/...+
• 
  Laura

  Tiny (only 46 pages), but full of wisdom explaining First Corinthians 3:21-4:7.
  
  Favorite quote:
  “Because the essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less. ...True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness. The blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings.”
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  Luiz

  Como pode ser tão pequeno? Keller faz um livro pequeno sobre o orgulho tão sensacional que até o tamanho do livro me faz pensar que ele escolheu propositalmente não responder as perguntas propostas no final para não se orgulhar disso enquanto trata do tema (ainda que ele já tenha falado muito sobre elas)....
• 
  Evan

  A very worthwhile short read breaking down the human ego, how we view ourselves, and how to change the way that we look at ourselves. I really liked Keller's descriptions and the way he explained his points in a way that made complex topics make a lot of sense, particularly the part of the book that compared the human ego to any other body part (we only notice it when it is in pain, and it is always in pain, read to find out more). My big takeaway: don't think less of yourself, think of yourself less. I don't care what you think, and I don't care what I think either.
  A quote from this book I really like, and strive to shape my view of myself more around: "Don't you want to be the kind of person who, when they see themselves reflected in a shop window, does not admire what they see but does not cringe either?"
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  Lachie Macdonald

  Short and sweet
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  Liza Sealy

  Not kidding, this book changed my whole perspective on the way I live my life and it’s only like 40 pages it’s insane. It walks through 1 Corinthians and how Paul explains his view of himself through Jesus READ IT READ IT READ IT like $4 on Amazon
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  Katie

  A very short reflection on the human ego and our natural tendency to think too much about ourselves- we either love ourselves and become super arrogant, or we hate ourselves and spend all our time worrying about our mistakes. Spoiler alert: neither of these approaches are good as both are inherently ego-centric.
  “The essence of gospel humility is not thinking more of myself or less of myself, it is thinking of myself less.”
  
  I’m really glad I read this. Another Tim Keller book filled with wisdom!
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  Leandro Texeira

  Um livro falando sobre o ego, na perspectiva cristã, não poderia mesmo ser um catatau. Não está inflado, nem mesmo desinflado (uso as palavras do autor): está na medida exata. É um livro obrigatório para afastar de si ideias erradas sobre a autoestima e as formas erradas de lidar com ela.
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  Sandis

  A great short book!