Does Anybody Else Look Like Me?: A Parents Guide To Raising Multiracial Children by Donna Jackson Nakazawa

Does Anybody Else Look Like Me?: A Parents Guide To Raising Multiracial Children Reviews

• 
  Camelia Rose

  Does Anybody Else Look Like Me is mostly a collection of interviews from people of multi-racial background, their experiences in dealing with racism and identity issues. It is roughly organized by age. The book also includes some analysis of American society. I am a little disappointed because I was looking for a practical parental guidebook in the fashion of
  How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. Having said that, I still find it an informative book. Here is what I've learned:
  
  1. Parents' attitude of the race and racism matters a lot.
  
  2. Color-blind is bad. Parents must discuss race issues with their kids openly.
  
  3. Help children to build a strong sense of self. Teach them both cultures: two is greater than one, to be a bridge to cultures, to be both, to appreciate both, etc..
  
  4. Parents must stand up for children and teach children to standup for themselves when facing discriminations. Respond to teasing with wits rather than fists.
  
  PS: the author has two mixed-raced kids by birth but the book also includes interviews from families in cross-racial adoptions.
• 
  Jessica

  I learned a lot from this book, but as a prospective adoptive parent, I did skip over large sections that seemed to pertain only to families created through parents having multiracial children by birth. For that group, I'm sure it is an even better resource. Much of the book does transfer over to multiracial adoptive families though.
  
  Early in the book the author goes through multiple age ranges and how children of those particular ages understand and conceptualize race. This will be helpful as our child goes through these stages. I also connected with the various sections devoted to being a family that stands out and somehow invites uninvited questions from strangers about ones family and how it was created. People will undoubtedly touch our child's hair and comment on their features. The author suggests a statement such as "Aren't all children beautiful?" in response to strangers (or anyone) commenting on the features that make our child different from others in the community.
  
  The author spends a chapter or so near the end discussing the community in which multiracial families live. I've thought a lot about this because we may have little to no choice in where we end up geographically. Her rather superficial research suggests that it is possible to overcome the lack of diversity in your community by 1. preparing (through role-playing, etc.) our family for racism, and 2. not moving, allowing our child to grow up in the same community and thus have a stable friend support system. Access to other multiracial families also seems to be incredibly important. There is a really good list of things to think about in terms of the policies of your local school district and how to help them in areas they may be lacking.
  
  One thing about the book that bugged me throughout was her rather constant focus on race being a construct of humans, lacking biological support. This just simply isn't the current thought. There is no reason to believe there is not a
  genetic basis for race.
• 
  Pghgranola

  written by a parent raising Hapa children, so she can honestly appreciate the complexity of such a situation.
  
  one of the few books, that i have found, that approaches the subject in terms of preschoolers. most other books tackle the issue with grade-school ages & up.
  
  
• 
  Abigail

  This book is written by a white woman who's married to a Japanese-American man and has two biracial children. She uses some of her own experience raising her children, as well lots of stories and ideas from other parents and children, to talk about what parents can do to raise their multicultural or transracially adopted children to become confident and competent adults. It's a very thoughtfully written book, as well as well-researched, as shown through the personal testimonies that appear all throughout the book. I think it's an important read, not just for parents (or parents-to-be) of multiracial children, but for educators, caregivers and anyone who interacts with children and young adults. It addresses many theories and ideologies, and also includes the input of many "professionals" in this field.
• 
  craige

  I've been reading anything I can get my hands on from my local library about adoption, specifically transracial adoption. This book had some helpful parts which would be applicable to any parent really, such as how to keep a dialog going throughout your kids' childhoods about racism. But a lot of the book deals specifically with multiracial kids who aren't adopted. Many of the same issues and many issues that just aren't the same. All in all, a worthwhile read to skim. Just be forewarned that it may make you feel like no matter what you aren't going to be able to do a good enough job helping your child navigate racism.
• 
  Rick

  This book was incredibly revealing about the possible future of a multiracial child that we might adopt might have -- the cruel questions in the supermarket as toddlers, the cruel racism of the teenage years, the unforgiving questions of the 5-8 years from peers and teachers. We will be prepared and train ourselves for creating a strong sense of multiracial identity with our child -- like chocolate ice cream and vanilla -- mixed together, but sooooo much more complicated.
• 
  Crystal

  I would recommend this book. As the parent of multiracial children, I saw a lot of my familiy's experiences in it.
• 
  Sunshine Biskaps

  "Does Anybody Else Look Like Me?" by Donna Jackson Nakazawa
  Reviewed on 11 June 2021
  
  I picked this book up at the library as the topic fascinates me. Being of Vietnamese-American background and married to a Latian-European-Austrialian man and hoping to start a family, I thought this book would open my eyes to a few things. One note I would like to add is the author Donna Jackson Nakazawa raises her two biracial children in Annapolis, Maryland. Maryland is also the state I grew up in and am extremely proud to have my formative years there. In my area of Montgomery County, Maryland, there was a smorgasbord of cultures and skin colours. I've since lived in Decatur (Illinois), Las Vegas (Nevada), Los Angeles (California), Jakarta, Indonesia and now residing in Brisbane, Australia. How lucky am I to have grown up in a city where race and the shade of your skin seemed to be a non-issue! Many of my friends and brothers have multiracial children of their own now. In saying that, it surprises me that a book of this topic still needs to be written.
  
  An example in one of the author's interviews said the father of a child that was called out for being "different" simply replied back to his child that he felt sorry for the boy who never go to see the world and see other families like theirs. It shows the importance of implementing a strong sense of self in your children, no matter what ethnic background they may identify with. The book also mentions age-related situations one can explain to their child. For instance, mixing white play dough with a tan play dough to form a beige-colored play dough.
  
  Later in the book, the author speaks about the importance of having a peer group that the child is familiar with and an extra emphasis on staying within a specific local community. This is a good idea, but can be unrealistic for certain families such as ours who move around across the world. Joining an organisation is a helpful tip, too.
  
  The point I most learned from this book is that love is NOT all that matters. We do need to talk to our children about race and their ethnic backgrounds and cultures, too. We need to prepare our kids for the rude comments and ridicule they may experience due to someone else's ignorance. If parents are happy to speak about their backgrounds and race, than our children are also more self-assured and can live confidently in their own skin.
  
  Mixed-race children are exceptionally beautiful and exotic, but they can become hyper exposed to these comments and they can negatively effect them. It's important to teach them about their parents roots. As for me, I feel a bit like a cheat as I'm American with Vietnamese parents. I speak the language fluently, but don't know much about cooking, so my friends joke and call me a "Twinkie" or "Banana", yellow on the outside and white in the inside. It would be difficult for me to teach my child much about Vietnam when I myself have left the country many years ago, as a four-year old child and my children will be born the opposite side of the world to my parents who can better teach them about what it means to be truly Vietnamese. Thank goodness to the Vietnamese community in Brisbane.
  
  Overall, mixed races are very common now and every child is beautiful. We need to be extra sensitive with our children who are growing up around people who are not as fortunate to be as worldly and sophisticated as others. The only thing that I found annoying was how the author included the race of most of her characters that she named in the book. I guess with a book like this, though, it was necessary. It reminded me of a book I once read when the author repeatedly and perfunctorily included ages of all their characters. This is only a minor gripe. This is an important book with many interviews on a very important topic and what it means to be mixed raced in the world these days.
• 
  Joan

  Bad. Didn’t finish.
• 
  Jeremiah Peter

  Good. Informative and helpful. Minus one star for being a little repetitive.
• 
  Susie

  Helpful, hopeful, and thought-provoking.
• 
  Stephanie

  book jacket description -
  
  "The author, a freelance writer, is from a western European background, while her husband is Japanese American. Although Nakazawa initially hoped to raise her son and daughter to be "color blind," they couldn't ignore the many comments made by both adults and children concerning Christian and Claire's appearance. When Christian was a toddler he was asked if he spoke Chinese, and the author was assured that little Claire didn't "even look Asian." Nakazawa decided to develop strategies to ensure that her son and daughter would be proud of their heritage and confident about their multiracial identity. Finding no useful book on the subject, she decided to write her own. Based on personal experience and interviews conducted with 60 other multiracial families, Nakazawa has skillfully combined anecdotal research with a strong knowledge of childhood and educational development philosophy to provide this useful guide for raising multiracial children in a color- and race-conscious world. Nakazawa believes that, although most three-year-olds are not racially aware, it is important to deflect insensitive comments from strangers about appearance. As a child grows older, this early dialogue should deepen, so that children will feel safe and comfortable discussing their racial identity with parents and be able to bring up any racially charged experiences that have occurred at school or with friends. Included are suggestions for the special problems that may arise during adolescence."
  
• 
  Bob Bellamy

  Poorly edited to the point of distraction. She gives too many qualifiers on people she introduced and utilized throughout the book. I guess the author thinks you can't remember a few names. Sometimes this is helpful if they have not been mentioned for a while but seriously, she gives the same information about an author two pages later. It is too much.
  
  The information seems fine but as I read elsewhere, this is a Caucasian mother writing about raising her multiethnic children. Also, it is somewhat well-researched but she is a journalist, not a professional sociologist, psychiatrist, etc.
  
  The info was a little helpful but ultimately fell short of being a great book.
• 
  Jenny

  In a world where the once-rigid lines of race are becoming (thankfully) more blurred, Donna does a great job addressing this question. What is it about human nature that desires to fit other in "nice, neat compartments" so we can feel secure about ourselves? This is a book for anyone who does not fit into a nice, neat compartment...and also for anyone who desires to know a multiracial's experience.
• 
  Tonya

  I gave up on finishing this book. I got about 1/3 of the way through and realized that it is much more of a resource for biracial/whatever type of mixed race parents and kids than my situation, which IS transracial adoption but neither of my kids are biracial. it has a lot of good insight and I'd recommend it to any who feel they'd benefit from reading it.
• 
  Christy

  I found this book to be useful for me from a professional perspective and a parental perspective. Lots of anecdotal information and useful suggestions for parents to promote positive racial/ethnic socialization in their children.
• 
  K Anderson

  This book was interesting to read from a teachers perspective. Interesting book, but this is definitely written as white parents guide to raising multiracial kids. I read it for a book club and multiracial parents in the group had the same feeling.
• 
  Jessica

  This is a good book if you are raising a multiracial child. It gives you some things to think about before the awkward situations come. My daughter is only 8 months old, but we've already gotten the questions of "Oh, is she adopted?". "No, she's my daughter. Stop being nosy!".
• 
  Jen Chau

  some good points...but overall, horrible advice for parents of mixed kids. DO NOT use as a resource!
• 
  Vive-un-Livre

  Sent to us by our agency while we waited to go get our daughter. Gave some good insight - and zingers - to use on friendly and not so friendly stranger observations of our family.
• 
  Celeste Ng

  research, but not surprisingly, also relevant to my life.
• 
  Christine

  I registered a book at BookCrossing.com!
  
  http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/11464572