When My Brother Was an Aztec by Natalie Díaz


When My Brother Was an Aztec
Title : When My Brother Was an Aztec
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 155659383X
ISBN-10 : 9781556593833
Language : English
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 103
Publication : First published April 10, 2012
Awards : American Book Award (2013), PEN Open Book Award Shortlist (2013)

"I write hungry sentences," Natalie Diaz once explained in an interview, "because they want more and more lyricism and imagery to satisfy them." This debut collection is a fast-paced tour of Mojave life and family narrative: A sister fights for or against a brother on meth, and everyone from Antigone, Houdini, Huitzilopochtli, and Jesus is invoked and invited to hash it out. These darkly humorous poems illuminate far corners of the heart, revealing teeth, tails, and more than a few dreams.

I watched a lion eat a man like a piece of fruit, peel tendons from fascia
like pith from rind, then lick the sweet meat from its hard core of bones.
The man had earned this feast and his own deliciousness by ringing a stick
against the lion's cage, calling out Here, Kitty Kitty, Meow!


With one swipe of a paw much like a catcher's mitt with fangs, the lion
pulled the man into the cage, rattling his skeleton against the metal bars.


The lion didn't want to do it—
He didn't want to eat the man like a piece of fruit and he told the crowd
this: I only wanted some goddamn sleep . . .


Natalie Diaz was born and raised on the Fort Mojave Indian Reservation in Needles, California. After playing professional basketball for four years in Europe and Asia, Diaz returned to the states to complete her MFA at Old Dominion University. She lives in Surprise, Arizona, and is working to preserve the Mojave language.



When My Brother Was an Aztec Reviews


  • Roxane

    Whew. The confidence in this poetry collection is impressive. The work here takes on race and identity and poverty and popular culture. There is also a lot of interesting commentary on the body, how it bleeds, how it fails, how it endures. A truly striking collection.

  • Michael

    An expansive debut collection of poems about family ties, queer romance, and Mojave life. Diaz writes plainspoken poetry that’s full of sharp wit and clear images, and she tackles head on a wide array of difficult subjects, from the emotional toll of a loved one’s addiction to the devastating effects of white supremacy. Well worth checking out.

  • julieta

    Identity, family, popular culture, violence, love. All the elements in this book are great, very intense poems. Loved it!

  • Jenny (Reading Envy)

    When My Brother Was an Aztec is a debut poetry collection. The poems are vivid with language, family history, cultural struggle, and struggles in the body.

    Before I wrote this review, I spent almost an hour watching Natalie perform her poems and talk about her poems and life on YouTube. It was interesting to hear her talk about her work to help her people retain the Mojave language, and her family's reactions to her poems. She writes about her brother's meth addiction in particular, and its effect on her family and community.

    Some of my favorites:

    When My Brother Was an Aztec
    "he lived in our basement and sacrificed my parents
    every morning...."

    Why I Hate Raisins

    The Red Blues (possibly the best menstruation poem ever!)

    Tortilla Smoke: A Genesis
    "...Some tortillas wandered the dry ground
    like bright tribes.."

    As a Consequence of My Brother Stealing All the Lightbulbs
    "...-- we are always digging each other out from an intimate
    sort of rubble --..."

    When the Beloved Asks, "What Would You Do If You Woke Up and I Was a Shark?"

  • Ellie

    A book so lush it left me drunk. Serious, painful poems about the narrator's relationship with her drug-addicted brother. Poems of passion and longing. Poems riffing off works by Lorca and Rimbaud. A clever commentary on our paranoid post-9/11 world in which oranges become the new vehicles of evil.

    The power of red, the sensual attraction of apples. The knots of family love.

    These poems contain so much and examine with great intensity love that sometimes borders on hate, on feelings that seem to great for a human to contain.

    Fabulous work.

  • Ken

    Like the cover, colorful. Natalie Díaz does the imagery thing extremely well. It's a rich dish, this book, and her brother is metaphorically sacrificed, like so many young people these days, to drugs (in his case, meth, which I guess involves lightbulbs somehow). Family, the body, love, race, and a few other big honking themes included. Worth a look!

  • Z. F.

    Truth is, there may be angels, but if there are angels
    up there, living on clouds or sitting on thrones across the sea wearing
    velvet robes and golden rings, drinking whiskey from silver cups,
    we're better off if they stay rich and fat and ugly and
    'xactly where they are—in their own distant heavens.
    You better hope you never see angels on the rez. If you do, they'll be marching you off to
    Zion or Oklahoma, or some other hell they've mapped out for us.


    Some people just seem to live a lot of life; it has little to do with age, and everything to do with experience.

    For example: Natalie Diaz is a former professional basketball player-turned-poet, teacher, and MFA holder. She is Mojave, an enrolled member of the Gila Indian Community, and has done important work on language revitalization with her home tribe. She is a speaker of English, a speaker of Spanish, a speaker of Mojave, and I'd guess—given that she played basketball for several years in Europe and Asia—others too. If her poetry is autobiographical, which it seems to be, she is also a woman who loves women, and the sister to a brother addicted to methamphetamine.

    On top of all that, Diaz is gifted with a well-tuned ear for words and a talent for transforming memories and sensory impressions into striking poetic images.

    As you might expect, given that background, When My Brother Was an Aztec sees Diaz putting her linguistic and artistic skills to great use interpreting the many sides of her multifaceted identity: fitting them together, pulling them apart, adjusting her angle of approach. Her poems are often intimate and physical, closely attuned to the sensations of individual bodies, but they're also always zooming out, giving those bodies a context in history and space. Her style is experimental but never to the point of incomprehensibility, weaving bits of Spanish and Mojave and symbols from Lorca, Borges, and others in between her own reminiscences and confessions.

    This book is a pretty long one as far as contemporary poetry collections go—forty poems compiled, I'm sure, from many individual pieces and clusters—and there's inevitably some repetition and reiteration. It's also (understandably) quite bleak: almost overwhelmingly so at times, and all the more for its length. But neither of those are marks against its quality, and there are definite moments of humor, acidic though it may be, as well.

    There’s much more that could be said about When My Brother Was an Aztec, but for all its multitudes I find that it's a difficult book to talk about. Maybe that’s not unusual; poetry, even more than other forms, tends to speak best for itself. With that in mind, then, give Aztec a try. If you listen to what Diaz has to say, I’m confident you’ll find it worth your time.

  • Jennifer (Insert Lit Pun)

    Feverish, funny, serious, sensual poems. This collection has TEETH. Whether Díaz is writing about reservation life, her brother's drug addiction, or lovers' jealousy, she ties in themes of conquering and being conquered, of ecstasy and despair, of living the color red (internally and externally). And her phrasing regularly took my breath away. Perfect both for poetry lovers (who'll get more of the allusions than I did) and for those intimidated by poetry (like me).

  • Lauren

    Such a strong debut! This is one of my favorites in my month of poetry reads.
    This book has stayed with me in the days since I read it, and it begs for a re-read.

  • Plagued by Visions

    Genuinely some of the most impassioned, cutting, and intense writing I have experienced in years.

  • Grady

    Natalie Diaz, Conjurer

    Poetry as turgid with metaphors, as disturbing, raw, and, a veces, humorous and sly and naughty doesn't happen often, but in this collection WHEN MY BROTHER WAS AN AZTEC Natalie Diaz manages to travel this bumpy terrain with such a sure hand that the result is staggering. Perhaps a part of the intensity of her writing is that as a woman born and raised on an Indian Reservation - and that, without parody intended, is why she writes like a necromancer, an augurer, a sorceress - a conjurer. This poet sees/feels/defines life in a situation close to her so well that she makes her reader finish a poem ad immediately return to the top of the poem to make sure it is fully digested before moving on to the next experience. Read Natalie Diaz and understand life on a reservation.

    ABECEDARIAN REQUIRING FURTHER EXAMINATION OF ANGLIKAN SERAPHYM SUBJUGATION OF A WILD INDIAN REZERVATION
    Angel's don't come to the reservation.
    Bats, maybe, or owls, boxy mottled things.
    Coyotes, too. They all mean the same thing -
    death. And death
    eats angels, I guess, because I haven't seen an angel
    fly trough this valley ever.
    Gabriel? Never heard of him. Know a Gabe though -
    he came through here one powwow and stayed, typical
    Indian. Sure he had wings,
    jailbird that he was. He flies around In stolen cars. Wherever he stops,
    kids grow like gourds from women's bellies.
    Like I said, no Indian I've ever heard of has ever been or seen an angel.
    Maybe in a Christmas pageant or something -
    Nazarene church holds one every December,
    organized by Pastor John's wife. It's no wonder
    Pastor John's son is the angel - everybody knows angels are white.
    Quit bothering with angels, I say. They're no good for Indians.
    Remember what happened last some white god came floating across the ocean?
    Truth is, there may be angels, but if there are angels
    up there, living on clouds or sitting on thrones across the sea wearing
    velvet robes and golden rings, drinking whiskey form silver cups,
    we're better off if they stay rich and fat and ugly and
    `zactly where they are - in their own distant heavens.
    You better nope you never see angels on the rez. If you do, they'll be
    marching you off to
    Zion or Oklahoma, or some other hell they've mapped out for us.

    The title of this collection suggests that we are going to hear a lot about Diaz' brother, and we do. A fragment of a longer poem follows:

    3. aka delusional parasitosis
    Dope is what my dad calls it. He never says meth.
    And the dope always has my brother. It's that dope,
    my dad sighs, that dope's got him.
    My dad once took us to the railroad tracks,
    gave each of his nine kids a penny to set on the rusted rails.
    My brother wanted a dollar, not a penny.
    Because it's hard to turn a firstborn son away, he got it,
    shoved it down into his pocket, walked away from us.
    We placed our pennies along the rails he balanced on,
    his heels squeaked against the metal, arm stretched
    out on each side. I knew that he'd do it. He'd crucify himself
    one day, just like that day - arms nailed to a horizon of salt cedars,
    date palms, the purple mountains behind him sharp as needles.

    These two samples, seductive though they are, represent only a glimpse at the wealth of philosophy and poetry and social comment that lies within. Natalie Diaz is a poet to heed, to read, to remember, to follow. Brilliant!

    Grady Harp

  • Pascale Petit

    This is one of my favourite all-time poetry collections, one I've read many times and often share poems from it with students. I love how Diaz combines the mythic with the sharp realities of her Mojave family life – uncomfortable but luxurious, vibrant and tragic, erotic and linguistically baroque. If I could give it ten stars I would. I can't wait for her next book and have seen samples published in various magazines that promise it will be even better.

  • Peycho Kanev

    Black Magic Brother

    My brother’s shadow flutters from his shoulders, a magician’s cape.
    My personal charlatan glittering in woofle dust and loaded
    with gimmicks and gaffs.

    A train of dirty cabooses, of once-beautiful girls,
    follows my magus man like a chewed tail
    helping him perform his tricks.
    He calls them his Beloveds, his Sim Sala Bimbos, juggles them,
    shoves them into pipes packed hot hard as cannons and Wham Bam
    Ala-Kazam! whirls them to smoke.
    Sometimes he vanishes their teeth then points his broken wand up
    into the starry desert sky, says, Voilà! There they are!
    and the girls giggle, revealing neon gums and purple throats.

    My brother. My mago.
    The consummate professional, he is dependable—performs daily,
    nightly, in the living room, a forever-matinee, an always-late-shaman-show:
    Come one, come all! Behold the spectacle
    of the Prince of Prestidigitators.

    As the main attraction (drumroll please) he pulls animals from a hole
    in his crotch—
    you thought I’d say hat, but you don’t know my black magic brother—
    and those animals love him like the first animals
    loved God
    when He gave them names.

    My brother. Our perpetual encore—
    he riddles my father with red silk scarves before sawing him in half
    with a steak knife. Now we have two fathers,
    one who weeps anytime he hears the word Presto!
    The other who drags his feet down the hall at night.
    Neither has the stomach for steak anymore.

    My mother, too, is gone somewhere
    in one of the pockets of my brother’s bluest tuxedo:
    Abracadabrantesque!

    The audience is we—we have the stubs to prove it—
    and we have been here for years, in velvet chairs the color of wounds,
    waiting for something to fall,
    maybe the curtain, maybe the crucifix on the wall,
    or, maybe the pretty white doves my brother made disappear—
    Now we see them, now we don’t—
    will fall from his sleeves like angels—
    right before our very eyes.

  • Jonterri

    This is one of the most exciting poetry collections I've read in a long time. The brutal honesty of these poems is what gets me. There are so many surprises. I found the poems concerning the brother and his relation to the family to be the most powerful/painful. I'll be reading this collection over and over.

  • Paul Ataua

    ‘When My Brother Was an Aztec’ comes from an interesting place with Diaz growing up on a Mojave Indian reservation, having to dealing with her brother’s addiction, and suffering her lover’s jealousy, among other things. She lays her life bare with a brutal honesty. I liked the content, but didn’t really connect with the poetry. Glad I read it, though.

  • Andrea Blancas

    I have only three words: READ THIS BOOK.

  • D.A.

    Spellbinding, meaty, frightening and beautiful. This first collection feels like it carries the weight of a life, illuminated and abiding. Diaz' poems do not spare us the bright stains of life's wounds, but they do not sink into despair. Rather, these are poems born of the magical and majestic art of healing. Highly recommended.

  • Caitlin

    I can't recommend this collection enough. Imagery that will gut you and a seamless mix of traditions and mythologies, taking on the issues of family, identity, history, and suffering from the inside and not just as a spectator. "Why I hate raisins" is a better love poem than most that would call themselves that.

  • Kate

    My copy of this book is 75% highlighter now.

  • Jerrie

    Diaz’s debut collection tackles big questions intelligently and sympathetically. While I found her more recent collection more powerful, the poems here detailing her family’s struggles with her brother’s drug addiction were very moving.

  • ambyr

    Sharp, angry poems with a fine eye toward metaphor and repetition. Part II, which deals primarily with her brother's struggles with drug addition, was particularly brutal. (At times I felt like the book might have benefited from a smaller selection of poems, since so many retread the same thematic territory--but there's no specific poem I would have cut, and perhaps that's just my own discomfort with the subject matter speaking.) Part III, which leans toward lesbian love poetry, was an unexpected treat after that. Some passages that particularly resonated:

    When My Brother Was an Aztec:

    "My parents gathered
    what he'd left of their bodies, trying to stand within legs,
    trying to defend his blows with missing arms, searching for their fingers
    to pray."

    A Woman with No Legs

    "Told me
    to keep my eyes open for the white man named Diabetes who is out
    there somewhere carrying her legs in red biohazard bags tucked
    under his arms Asks me to rub her legs which aren't there so I
    pretend by pressing my hands into the empty sheets at the foot of
    her bed Feels like she's lost part of her memory the part the legs knew
    best like earth Her missing kneecaps are bright bones caught in my throat"

    Reservation Mary

    "Just the other day, at a party on first beach, someone asked
    if she still had that 3-point touch, if she wished she still played ball,
    and she answered that she wished a lot of things,
    but what she wished for most at that minute was that she could turn
    the entire Colorado River into E & J Ripple--
    she went on a beer run instead,
    and as she made her way over the bumpy back roads along the river,
    that smooth-faced baby in the backseat cried out for something."

    Cloud Watching

    "A tongue will wrestle its mouth to death and lose--
    language is a cemetery."

    The Last Mojave Indian Barbie

    "worst of all, Mojave Barbie couldn't find a single soft spot on
    her body to inject her insulin. It had taken years of court cases,
    litigation, letters from tribal council members, testimonials from
    CHR nurses, and a few diabetic comas just to receive permission to
    buy the never-released hypodermic needle accessory kit--before
    that, she'd bought most on the Japanese black market--Mattel
    didn't like toying around with the possibility of a Junkie Barbie."

    Prayers or Oubliettes

    "The world has tired of tears.
    We weep owls now. They live longer.
    They know their way in the dark."

    As a Consequence of My Brother Stealing All the Lightbulbs

    "--when I visit, I hate searching for the door--usually
    my brother's boot print on my dad's ribs, once it was
    a hole in my mom's chest that changed her into a sad guitar
    for three years--these are more like exits than doors.
    They are difficult to get through."

    I Watch Her Eat the Apple

    "She twists the stem, pulls it
    like the pin of a grenade, and I just know
    somewhere someone is sitting alone on a porch,
    bruised, opened up to their wet white ribs,
    riddled by her teeth--
    lucky."

  • Nancy Boutilier

    "When My Brother Was an Aztec" is a powerful collection from an emerging poet you'll be hearing of soon...so get ahead of the curve and be the one talking about it...

    Fierce and fragile is the world created in Natalie Diaz's debut collection. The poems chronicles the challenges, heartbreak, hunger(s) and means of survival growing up on the reservation. Varied in form (ballads, pantoum, abecedarian...) and consistently strong, these poems explore hunger and history, weakness and courage, in both highly personal and political ways.

    The title poem and "How to Go to Dinner with a Brother on Drugs" are to gut kickers. I'm a sucker for basketball poems, and I know too many women whose stories echo "Reservations Mary" not to love this poem. "Why I Hate Raisins" a moving reflection on rations. I love the way poems move from the very historical and concrete to the metaphysical, the way "The Facts of Art" about Hopi men working on the highways is followed by the mystical and moving "Zoology."

    If the title of the book hadn't hooked me, the title of "When the Beloved Asks, "What Would You Do if You Woke Up and I Was a Shark" would have; first line tease: "My lover doesn't realize that I've contemplated this scenario."

    Anyway, 5 STARS from me.

    Consider giving GOODREADS a reminder that, as Audre Lorde (who, I think, would have loved this book), said: "Poetry is not a luxury." Goodreads does not list poetry as a "favorite genre." You can choose from
    fiction
    nonfiction
    young adult
    children’s
    history & biography
    memoir & autobiography
    mystery & thriller
    romance
    science fiction
    historical fiction
    graphic novels & comics

    BUT NOT POETRY!

  • andreea.

    the poems just kept getting better and better.

    If Eve Side-Stealer and Mary Busted-Chest Ruled the World

    What if Eve was an Indian
    & Adam was never kneaded
    from the earth, Eve wasEarth
    & ribs were her idea all along?

    What if Mary was an Indian
    & when Gabriel visited her wigwam
    she was away at a monthly WIC clinic
    receiving eggs, boxed cheese
    & peanut butter instead of Jesus?

    What if God was an Indian
    with turquoise wings & coral breasts
    who invented a game called White Man Chess
    played on silver boards with all white pieces
    pawns & kings & only one side, the white side
    & the more they won the more they were beaten?

    What if the world was an Indian
    whose head & back were flat from being strapped
    to a cradleboard as a baby & when she slept
    she had nightmares lit up by yellow-haired men & ships
    scraping anchors in her throat? What if she wailed
    all night while great waves rose up carrying the fleets
    across her flat back, over the edge of the flat world?


    some other favourites: Tortilla Smoke: A Genesis, Reservation Grass, Soirée Fantastique.

  • Amy

    I can't think of an adjective to describe this that wouldn't be a cliche, but they're all true: Powerful. Riveting. Etc. Etc.

  • Kristine

    🍂🌫🍳👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🕸🌵🦎���💦💋

  • saïd

    No hay mal que dure cien años, ni cuerpo que lo resista.

  • Victoria

    Stunning. Haunting. Beautiful.

    I loved this poetry collection so much. I Watch Her Eat the Apple is one of my favourite poems of all time and I'm so glad that I finally got to read more of her work. The way she weaves her imaginary is so poignant and purposeful, I can only dream to write 1/4 as good as her.

    Here were some of my favourites:
    1. Abecedarian Requiring Further Examination of Anglikan Seraphym Subjugation of a Wild Indian Rezervation
    2. Why I Hate Raisins
    3. Reservation Mary
    4. The Last Mojave Indian Barbie
    5. My Brother at 3 a.m.
    6. Soirée Fantastique
    7. I Watch Her Eat the Apple
    8. Toward Amaranth Gates of War and Love
    9. I Lean Out the Window and She Nods of in Bed, the Needle Gently Rocking on the Bedside Table
    10. The Beauty of a Busted Fruit

  • Roof Beam Reader (Adam)

    Thoughts will be available at
    https://roofbeamreader.com/2022/02/07... on February 7, 2022.

  • Jolene

    Since quarantine began, I've made a habit of reading a poem a day in the morning. When My Brother Was an Aztec was both perfect for that and not at all. These poems are DENSE. Between the frequent allusions to history, the Bible, and other writers' style and Diaz's penchant for experimenting with specific poem structures, this collection sometimes feels designed to be a studied. I noted the ones that I'd like to bring to my American Literature classroom during the fall semester when we read
    There There by Tommy Orange, but it's also difficult to imagine any of them being taught as a supplement. These poems demand their own study and research. They allude to an important history that requires context, and they allude to each other in a way that would be a shame to brush past.

    It's insane to critique such powerful and well-crafted writing, but if I had one it would be that this collection had me in my thinking more than my feeling.

    But then there are the lines that kick you in the gut.

    Her diabetic grandmother asks the speaker to rub her amputated legs: “Her missing kneecaps are bright bones caught in my throat” (16).

    A semi drives over a migration of tarantulas: “I can still hear the crunch. I can feel the ones that kept crawling, / over the others, their brothers and sisters. / Busted scabs in the road” (57).

    A woman eats an apple that “pulses like a red bird in her hand”: “She bites, cleaving away a red wing. / The red bird sings. Yes, / she bites the apple and there is music-- / a branch breaking, a ship undone by the shore, / a knife making love to a wound, the sweet scrape / of a match lighting the lamp of her mouth” (74).

    When she imagines her lover being with someone else: “Tonight I am riddled by this thick skull / this white bowling ball zipped in the sad-sack carrying case of my face” (79)

    Her meth-addicted brother makes a mess of her parents' home: “--my mom tries to dress the place up: riddled doilies, / the burning-heart Jesus with eyes that used to follow us / around the room until someone plucked out each bright circle. / Now my fingers slip down into the slick holes in Jesus’s face” (55).

    The most powerful are the ones about how her brother's meth addiction impacts her family. In "How to Go to Dinner with a Brother on Drugs" (46), her brother comes downstairs dressed in a three-piece skeleton suit as if for a Day of the Dead parade and, when she makes him go change, comes down again as a Judas effigy. Anyone who knows the pain of loving someone who won't love themselves can feel the speaker's exasperation: "because tonight you are not in the mood / to have your heart ripped out. It gets old, / having your heart ripped out, / being opened that way." She remembers taking him in once, not so much as "a three-quarter-court / heave, a buzzer-beater to win something of him back" than as a way to "ease / the guilt of never having tried." When she finally asked him to leave, he "left [her] / with his meth pipe ringing in the dryer." So at dinner, when the speaker pours her "thirty pieces of silver / onto the table and ask[s], 'What can I get for this?'", you can't blame her.

  • Ilias

    There were a fair number of poems in here I liked a lot. And there were some that didn't do so much for me. Generally, I liked the ones about the history of conflict between American Indians and European settlers [and how her own experiences growing up reflected that conflict], about women, about desire/sex, and about her brother going to war.

    I didn’t so much like the ones about the eponymous brother and his meth habit. Which is maybe because some drug usage is sort of squicky to me, but also, I think, because there was a lot of repetition in those poems. And there was a sort of niceness there, in that they all flowed into each other, and read as a cohesive series. But it felt like there wasn’t enough to distinguish them from each other. I guess I didn’t really understand what she was doing with form in each poem. I didn’t understand what it was that separated them, and so it ended up feeling like just a compilation of everything she’d written on the subject, with a lot of similar lines used in each because she couldn’t quite decide where they went best.

    I’m just trying to describe what there was in me that wasn’t enraptured by those poems. I really don’t mean to criticize Diaz’s depictions of her life. I’m glad that she wrote the poems, and I do feel that they were effective in conveying the feeling of the experiences she’s describing.

    And actually, the poem that was most interesting [not most arresting, but most interesting] to me, was “My Brother at 3 A.M.“, which was written as a sort of pontoon that wasn’t a pontoon? The lines were repeated, but not exactly, so that “He pointed to the corner house.” became “My brother pointed to the corner house.”, and “His lips flickered with sores.” became “Mom winced at the sores on his lips.”. And that was. Interesting, and, I felt, hinted at the unpredictable nature of a life disrupted in that manner. Not that I. Know what I’m talking about at all in that respect, but. I don’t know. It was interesting.

    And so yeah. As a whole, the book was good. I enjoyed it. I recommend it.