| Title | : | Models: Attract Women Through Honesty |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 1463750358 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9781463750350 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Paperback |
| Number of Pages | : | 246 |
| Publication | : | First published July 1, 2011 |
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty Reviews
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Whether you like it or not, we live in a world where men are seriously screwed up. From the early childhood we are being taught to please women. Most of us don’t have a healthy male role model to follow, our fathers are distraught and generally don’t care about their heritage. This is especially true for Post Soviet countries, where being sensitive for a man is almost a crime.
So, while our fathers pursue career, sport, women or whatever else they find to be exciting, a lot of teen boys are left to themselves all the way to adulthood. There’s no way, other than to go down the road of error and trial. And, with women supervising that road, there’s always a reasonable amount of blame and shame waiting around the corner.
With all that said, there’s no surprise with the fact, that majority of men have issues with women. Unbearable anxiety, fear of rejection and/or inability to have an intimate relationship.
Will this book help you too get any woman you want? No, it won’t. This is not one of these cheesy pickup lines almanacs, that pickup community is notorious of.
This is a self help book, not a Maxim 10 step guide to become an alpha male, the main point of which is too show, that approaching women is not about creating an alter ego or showing off like a clown, but resonating true intentions, emotions and vulnerability.
The book covers a background of an attraction between men and women, and some of the statements are so profound and deep, that I’ve been constantly feeling an urge to make a bunch of stickers with quotes and put them all over my mirror.
But it’s not only about a theory, the book carries a great deal of practical advices on approaching, communication, physical escalation, sex and other parts of the package. I wasn’t able to find a single contradictory fact, every single piece snaps into place perfectly. Well-written piece!
Although it still just a book, it doesn’t make wonders. Whether it helps you or not depends on you and your commitment to self improvement. -
This book was really solid until he got to the actual how-to advice at the end, and then it seemed kind of manipulative and gross, not to mention rapey.
It is NOT a good policy to push ahead with women you hardly know until they force you to stop. DO NOT DO THIS.
Always ask and anything less than an enthusiastic yes is a no.
The first 180 pages or so of this book is excellent advice. Much better than the advice in The Game or No More Mr. Nice Guy or any other book I've read, and I want to tell everyone to read it but I'm kind of dumbfounded by the direction it took at the end. I can't even write a proper review because...wtf.
I feel like there's a glaringly inconsistent attitude toward women. Like he's presenting himself as someone who thinks we're smart and interesting, and that dudes need to be honest with us, and that forming an emotional connection is rewarding and awesome, and then he's also like...yeah, they're kinda dumb and don't know what they want so just look hot, and change your body language, and stick it to them.
Sometimes sexual aggression is hot, sometimes it's incredibly terrifying. There are a lot of factors at work, and you can only know if it's okay if you ASK. If that is what a woman wants...you should trust her to tell you, otherwise you are treading on dangerous ground. -
"First impressions are crucial."
Honestly, I had zero expectations about this book; if anything, I was quite prejudiced against this even before starting, based on how Manson's Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck turned out for me. I bought both books together a couple of years ago, and after reading the Subtle Art, decided to stay away from this one as well. But since I was a little behind my non-fiction reads, and also there's always the option to DNF, I gave in at last and give Models a chance. I'm really glad I did so, for, this is entirely different from the Subtle Art.
"When you change your belief and mindsets, the behavior follows."
What I expected was obviously a series of shallow, superficial advises, like how it usually is with books on this topic, and it would not have been that much of a stretch after how disappointing Subtle Art was for me. But Models is anything but that! Hanson is actually coming from a very sound set of principles here, using the concept of 'non-neediness' as a base point. I believe it was a well thought out system, with contents masterfully arranged, starting with an intriguing introduction and a series of follow-up chapters that delivers on everything promised at the beginning of book.
"Emerson once wrote, 'What you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say.'"
Now, when I said this is a lot different to Subtle Art, I obviously did so with the exception of somewhat offensive language. But to be fair, the level of that is significantly dialed down, and has been used sparingly where using such strong remarks could actually be helpful for stronger emphasis. Overall, it didn't bother me as much as it did with Subtle Art.
"Genuine no-strings-attached appreciation is rare in this world, particularly from men."
"Men have an unbelievable knack for being oblivious to color and how to coordinate them."
As for the basic guidelines outlined here, I'm not gonna make a list of them or do something similar in the review. I've found that doing so is usually a complete misinterpretation of what a self-help book is trying to convey; though the principles could be simple, it's the elaborate explanations and numerous examples that drive those simple points home, and more importantly, explain in them in prober context.. For me personally, being a Sri Lankan, a country where culture is still very influential in 'dating' culture, most of the contents are not very relevant, but there are some solid principles on developing a proper lifestyle explained here, which is definitely beneficial to all readers.
"Get you life taken care of. Get healthy. Find a happy group of friends. Find a few hobbies that you love. Develop opinions. Start caring about what you spend your time doing. This increases your self-investment and will make you less needy around others. This, in turn, will give you the courage to take the correct action and the wherewithal to communicate effectively."
"They say if you want to master something, teach it." -
A dating advice book that is applicable to life.
Social status is determined by how you behave around other people, how other people behave around you, and how you treat yourself.
Neediness is defined by being more highly invested in other people's perceptions of you than your perceptions of yourself.
Humans are attracted to each other's rough edges.
Intentions speak way louder than lines, it's about why you say it, not what you say.
It comes down to what's being sub-communicated. When in doubt, check your intentions.
True honesty is only possible when it is unconditional. The truth is only the truth when it is given as a gift.
What's important is you expressing your truth, not the outcome.
A non-needy man does not seek to impose himself on the boundaries of others, he's merely interested in maintaining his own boundaries.
You cannot control what happens in every interaction. The sooner one accepts this, the better.
Remove yourself from the equation. Don't make everything about you.
Know what you want, so you can recognise it when it's in front of you.
Contrast stereotypes to make a more lasting impression. (duh.)
Ditch the rating scale. Instead of 1-10, switch to binary: Yes, or No.
Being attractive requires being outstanding, being controversial. Rather than being boring.
Reading more widely allows you to be able to relate to more people.
Having an opinion will lift you above the plague of indifference in society.
There's a certain baseline level of independence and self-sufficiency required from your lifestyle to be able to move forward.
The only important skill in dating is learning how to stop buying into your own bullshit.
(Intellectualisation, blaming,
Blaming shifts the locus of control away from yourself, stripping your power from you.
Challenge yourself to find the good and beautiful thing inside of everyone. It's your job to find it, not their job to show you.
She's looking for the man who can make her feel more alive.
Anxiety gives confidence when backed by competence, and hinders confidence without.
Awareness differentiates social boldness from social disconnectedness.
Acknowledge your behaviour as being bold, so your behaviour becomes a conscious choice to flout norms.
Creepiness is behaving in a way that makes a woman feel insecure.
Emotional connection is about feelings, not facts.
Make statements, not questions. Avoid the interrogation. Share, instead.
Never underestimate the power of non-sequiturs. Better random and interesting than boring and predictable. -
Not too long ago I encountered a great article on the internet about John Lennon vs Trent Reznor and how their different fundamental view on love resulted in a different outcome. It is a nice and enlightening article. Less than two weeks after, I encountered another great article on the internet, about how we should not be worried about being an average person. Those 2 blog post are in no way perfect, but it does opened my eyes into seeing things from a completely different angles.
The interesting fact is that those 2 articles was coming from the same blog, from the same person by the name of Mark Manson. So of course I'm intrigued. Who's this guy? He's definitely a quite literate person (He quote authors like Tolstoy and Dostoevsky after all), and there's a raw psychological edge on his writings. For me, his writings are the Anti-Paulo Coelho.
So it is only natural for me to googled him, only to find out that he used to be a....dating coach. WHAT.(Because if there's a dating coach and a politician in front of me and I have to choose one to hang out with, I will rather pick nearest rock and try to eat it whole). They said that you should never meet your idol. Well, in this case, you shouldn't have googled him
But sure, as curiosity is in my DNA, so I dig deeper and got to know that he wrote some books, mostly on, well, dating advice. And this book appeared to be the most popular one (at least, that's according to all'of'you Goodreads folks. "Okay then", I think to myself, "let's see my recent favorite writer take on this field".
And the result is a mixed baggage. The trace of his brilliant literary references is there. Also his psychological approach on the topic (loved how he keep mentioning along the book about "neediness" and "vulnerability". Although I also hated it how he keep mentioning along the book about "neediness" and "vulnerability". Okay I got it Mark, That's the holy grail).
Overall, the book structure was okay, but it was VERY REPETITIVE, that I (along with the fact that this is a dating advice book, not some pulitzer prize winning novel) keep skimming it through. On the content, this is exactly why I despise this kind of book, It generalize things. It generalize things on a subject in which every other individual are different from the others. But still, guess this one is still a whole lot better that the other books about this, I assume (since this is Mark Manson and his writings makes sense).
Shit. I have read a book about picking up chicks. -
From the first time I came across Manson's blog I though he might be my spirit animal since he gives a great advice on life and how not to be a needy crazy bitch-person. I am less of a needy crazy bitch-person because of his writings and I am definitely grateful for that.
Having in mind that I am not the target audience for Models, it might be unsurprising that the book didn't strike the chord as eye-opening. It was quite interesting to know a bit more about the possible mindsets - it seems that the target of Models is living in a world full of identity crisis based on shitty advice and unleveled/biased expectations.
Which was sad, because the apperently a revolutionary book is based on idea that women are humans as well as men. I literally quote the book: "Women are people, too." It's very unsettling to know that its not common knowledge.
In any case, it is nice to know that compared to 2005, less people are looking stereotypically into other people and try to keep contact with them based on mutual interests, respect and humor, while at the same time improving their communication and other skills. Hope this tendency will keep up. -
This is a must read book for any man who has struggled to connect with or communicate with women. I was recommended to read this book from a friend and I'm grateful he told me about it. Mark Manson's concepts on True Confidence, False Confidence, and vulnerability are very clear to understand to help a man be more successful in his relationships about women. The difference between True Confidence and False Confidence is the extent to which a man is vulnerable to his emotions and is able to share them with the women he pursues dating.
This isn't solely a dating book, it's more of a starting point for a man to start living life more honestly. I wish I read this book when I started college because a lot of my failures with women were due to my neediness and putting them up on a pedestal. Manson warns about this behavior and gives sound advice on how to invest more into yourself, and not to others for approval, attention, or acceptance. Investment into oneself is a key point Manson drilled into me throughout the book and is something I think about every day. It is what has made me get rid of bad habits and encouraged to read more. I'm glad I realize this now as a young man because the more I invest in myself, the more I can give to a future relationship and bring value to it.
Also another key point Manson taught me was that being controversial/you're ability to polarize women is essential if you want to be a man of True Confidence. This was a idea I was aware before I read the book, but Manson gives solid advice on how you can polarize women without offending them by being honest and vulnerable. His suggestion to approach women as a "1" (I am interested to meet this woman) or a "0" (I'm not interested to meet this woman) in public has surprisingly led me to not be afraid to say what's on my mind and feel any approach anxiety. Also he suggests that any woman you find attractive as you walk into any public setting, make an effort to ask them a simple question or something mundane like "where can I find this?" or even "how's your day?" Just by following such simple advice it has helped me be more open to women and even lead me to go more dates because I'm progressively desensitizing to approaching women in a honest, vulnerable, and confident way.
Manson effectively organizes the book by the categories Honest Living, Honest Action and Honest Communication. He mentions that a goal for a man with True Confidence is to be adequate in all three areas. Honest Living deals with the fact that a man should first be in a career/job field he enjoys. Honest Action deals with how the man can be more honest, vulnerable, and open with his emotions to women. Honest Communication is effective the man is in polarizing women and being clear with his beliefs and not compromising himself to impress women.
This book is highly recommended for any man who is serious on improving his dating lifestyle and his life in general. It will encourage you to invest in yourself and be more vulnerable. -
Highly recommended to every straight guy. Powerful insights on what constitutes an attractive character.
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کتاب خیلی خیلی خوبی بود، می ارزید براش یه پست بنویسم ولی فیلترچی ناراحت میشد.
حتا اگر پسر دختربازی محسوب میشید بازم این کتاب یه سری چیزها داره که بهتون ارائه بده.
در واقع مهمترین چیز مدل سازی هست که منسون میکنه و توی اون مدل میشه بیشتر اتفاقاتی که در هنگام نزدیک شدن به زنان اتفاق میفته رو توضیح بدی.
در کل توصیه میکنم. اگر تونستم از هایلایت هام هم اکسپورت پی دی اف بگیرم لینکش رو همینجا میذارم. -
When in doubt Check Your INTENTIONS
צפו בוידאו סיקור :-)
As a former performer (pick-up), this book saved my life just in time.
As a kid I knew that being more real and vulnerable is the right way
to have a healthy and fulfilling relationships, and I did have, as a kid.
With more and more poisonous pressure from the majority of my peers at
middle school, to make chatting with girls a challenge,
I was persuaded to think that I WASN'T RIGHT.
They were, of course, pushing around MANIPULATIVE RELATIONSHIPS but
I couldn't tell the difference then.
So, I became manipulative as well and suffered for it.
Because my nature is not manipulative, I took every course
you can imagine (Pick-up, How to, lines etc..) out of sheer neediness
for something I used to have as a kid, a fulfilling relationships. One cannot get that in the wrong route, a Manipulative Relationships.
Thus, I didn't get to have real love in spite of my efforts (or perhaps - because of them).
Models will take you through the why and how society influenced us to be unnaturally needie for girls, and how to overcome the "WHAT IS RIGHT" and
have more control and creativity in choosing your own path in finding love, even in a one night stand.
It's not the convenient book about how to get girls it's a book about emotional development or at least awareness, and how to make the quest for intimacy and love as natural as breathing.
In this book I've also learned to quit spending time and money for the sake of others, and invest more and more in myself smartly. If I don't suffer I won't spend money on gifts and treats. Thus, save money for real purposes, and avoid those who want to be bought and manipulated.
An amazing book every guy and girl should read.
Models is probably the best book on the subject, because it's not ON the subject it's about how to MAKE the subject.
רוצים לשמוע עוד?
צפו בוידאו סיקור :-)
Best of 2015. -
I got about 75% through this book and decided I had enough. I picked up this book somewhat at the urging of a recent ex. He had wanted me to read it while we were dating, under some presumption that it would help me understand him more -- to understand his neediness and how it drives his behavior. I can't tell you how very glad I am that I did NOT do that WHILE we were dating. I don't find that I learned much more about him, other than it seems quite ridiculous that he needed to read this book to understand that one should be honest, open, and vulnerable in dating and relationships. Like many of the other commentators here, I think that this book fails to follow through on its own honesty and vulnerability advice. And yes, the book could absolutely be condensed -- Manson says the same think 3 times in a row while discussing a single topic and broad topics are repeated often. Maybe that is to just simply bash the reader over the head with information, but honestly, are men truly that oblivious? I personally like to think not.
The men that are attracted to this book likely are not being open about being narcissistic -- they think they're being described as the needy, nice guys (the extreme narcissists probably aren't reaching for a self-help book on attracting women through honesty). Any man reading this should take an actual cold hard look at that perceived "neediness" and figure out if it is really just narcissism, making everything about you, disguised through victim-hood. Something tells me that no one is getting anything out of the small, limited takeaway that this book provides because they can't even be honest with themselves about their behavior.
Let's put it this way -- I wouldn't date you if I found out you had to read this book to learn how to date better. It simply would mean that your "vulnerability" is a facade, that you're learning how to feign vulnerability in this book by dressing a certain way, doing certain behaviors, etc. And frankly, my apologies for getting too personal, but, that's exactly what I got from the ex who read this -- fake vulnerability learned from a book, which is ultimately wholly dishonest. In fact, this book is keeping me away from Manson's more recent and very popular titles because this was such trash. -
As far as dating/seduction books go, this is one of the most realistic and down-to-earth. Less about having "game" and more about living as authentically as possible.
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This was a thoroughly enjoyable listen. It deals a lot with accepting rejection, how to be more honest (obviously) and why being honest and vulnerable can be helpful. It also deals with the mistakes you're making, in your personal life and when trying to find a woman to meet. I really wish I would've read this book when I was 20. Ya live and learn
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"- Και τι πρέπει να κάνουμε δηλαδή(ς) για να μας κάτσει καμιά καλή γκόμενα;
-
Να γίνετε άντρες, σαν κι εμένα.
- Μα δεν έχουμε αυτοπεποίθηση δάσκαλε.
- Να αποκτήσετε. 50 ευρώ.
- Είστε σίγουρα dating coach?"
Απροσδόκητα ευανάγνωστο βιβλίο αυτοβοήθειας από το Mark Manson (ξέρετε, αυτόν του
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life ), καταρρίπτει πολλά κλισέ των συνηθισμένων pick-up artists και μας καλεί να είμαστε, αν όχι ο εαυτός μας, μια βελτιωμένη εκδοχή του. Καλό αυτό.
Ο παραπάνω διάλογος που ίσως και να συνοψίζει το ανάγνωσμα θα μπορούσε να γίνει ένα από τα επόμενα σκίτσα στο Ancient memes. Κακό αυτό.
Σε κάποιο σημείο, μάλιστα, και στα πλαίσια της συνολικής προόδου που πρέπει να κάνει ένας άνδρας για να γίνει πιο ελκυστικός, προτείνει να γίνουμε πιο "καλοδιαβασμένοι" βέβαια (διόλου άσχημη συμβουλή και χαίρω πολύ) αλλά να μη διαβάζουμε τίποτις σκουπίδια του αεροδρομίου (σε καμιά αντίστοιχη Αμερικάνα Δημουλίδου θα αναφέρεται ο καλλιτέχνης) ή κάτι ρηχά έργα, τύπου Stephen King!
#asemaskouklitsamou -
I realise now the objective of this book wasn't for me.
it's not particularly badly written, in fact if you want this sort of picking up woman self help book this should probably be towards the top of the list.
That being said, I personally found it far too preachy and ended up being the step by step guide it at first promised not to be.
I'm now an expert in exactly when to stop talking to woman immediately when they're not interested in a sexual relationship, what to wear to attract woman and how to schedule masturbation to optimise myself for woman.
I realise now I really didn't want to be an expert in these things... -
Read this after seeing it highly recommended on reddit.
It did make me want to become more proactive in life and become more confident, but the premise of the book is basically to become good at approaching women through repeated practice. I have no intention of randomly picking up just any girl andor sleeping around, especially in a small community.
It says nothing about developing and maintaining actual relationships beyond the initial contact part (well, technically I shoulda known that from the title).
Theory: 7/10
Applicability (in my context): 3/10 -
Макар и определено blue pill, книгата е интересна и в нея има някои интересни неща, които не съм срещал в останалите от жанра.
Особено добре се е получило описанието на демонстриране в емоционален план на сила чрез слабост и колко важно е това за общуването. Накратко казано, мъжът, който не показва емоциите си, особено тези, които показват неговата слабост, изглежда слаб, защото си личи, че се страхува да се разкрие - докато силната личност е ок със себе си и недостатъците си. -
As embarrassing as this is: back in 2008 or whenever, I read Neill Strauss’ (really great) non-fiction book called The Game, and I got sucked into the hype just like so many before me. “You mean there’s a formula to hooking up with girls??” was my immediate response, and I soon became an avid follower of the PUA trail, devouring every text on the matter shortly following. Interestingly enough, however, I actually ended up getting laid a lot less. The reason why, I concluded, was that these techniques are designed for people who have no personality nor social skills whatsoever, which is why I still feel like pick-up books have a valuable place in certain cases. But I’ve never really had a problem with women, and upon realising this, I promptly turned away from the silly seduction community forever, and never looked back. 10 years later, however, this Models book fell onto my radar as some brand new landmark approach, and I halfheartedly added it to my Amazon wishlist. Fast forward to Xmas 2016, and my Dad bought it for me (I’m assuming as a joke). Fast forward once again to exactly one year later, and I found myself single and a little discouraged by romance, deciding to pick it up out of some self-loathing curiosity.
Thankfully, I quickly discovered this was not a PUA book in the slightest—or if anything, an anti-PUA book. No games. No tricks. No lines. It was fundamentally about shifting yourself towards an inner perspective of not giving a fuck, which is ideal, because I was never very good at giving a fuck in the first place. The key to this, according to Mr Manson, was to be completely honest at all times, in terms of communication, but also in terms of living the exact life you want, without any fear. Furthermore, it was about blasting every conversation with the most sincerest version of yourself, and in doing so, the listeners would be forced to form a speedy opinion of you, either opting to dismiss your shit, or show further interest. It also encouraged one to define optimal aspects of a partner, specifying exactly what you are looking for, not approaching the people who don't apply, questioning why you are attracted to those people who do, and finally, learning how swallow rejection instantaneously with respect. These were great to read, because they showed me what I had been doing right above anything I had been doing wrong, and I could feel a few screws in my brain tightening up from this validation.
That said, it did come with one HUGE revelation which I’d never considered, potentially the #1 reason as to why all my former relationships have failed, in fact. You see, I met most of my exes in a party scenario, which is not ideal, as my perfect woman would be a workaholic borderline reclusive artist, and she’s not going to be at places like that now, is she? My demographics have been completely off all this time, and I now understand that I need to attend events where people like me will be socialising in order to find THAT girl. So simple. Why I never thought of it, fuck knows.
So far so good! But then… it completely ruined everything by contradicting itself halfway through. After driving the point into my skull that I had to be genuine to myself, the book began to explain how to approach, how to communicate better, how to dress, how to stand, how to exercise, when to phone, how to date etc etc etc, all of which didn’t necessary gel with my own brand of honest Jared. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was good advice, I took a lot of it on board, and I suppose any guide about attraction would be incomplete without these tips. However, it just felt wrong to me, like I was spiralling back into some run-of-the-mill PUA rubbish, and this totally put me off, because I have no interest in making any effort for anything whatsoever ever again. And then when he began to heavily suggest masturbation/porn restrictions... well, that’s none of your business, mate.
Regardless, Mark Manson came across like the right dude for the job. His open honesty about his (often shameful) personal stories and his colourful I-don’t-give-a-fuck-attitude came through loud and clear on these pages, a convincing testament to the life he is preaching. Furthermore, in a self-help coaching genre which is notorious for its macho chauvinism, it’s clear how conscious he is of misogyny, placing much effort into promoting the respect and fair treatment of women, which is what this whole unsettling industry is generally lacking. Which is why I say (and I repeat) this is not a PUA book. It’s simply sold as such for financial purposes, and is instead much closer to a self development guide intended to evolve your mindset into one of blind earnestness, using the social dynamics between men and women as examples of how to do so. This notion is further solidified when considering his follow-up book, called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. That specific title has enjoyed even greater success for the author, as it obviously dives much deeper into the core concept of his teachings without hiding beneath some seduction tag, and I truly look forward to reading that too.
What it finally comes down to, is this: pick-up books teach the same moves and the same lines to everyone, creating these generic carbon copies of men desperately running around with their cocks out, trying to remember their training on how to inflict manipulation on a girl who has already heard it all before. Models, on the other hand, could be read by everyone, and the results would vastly differ from person to person, as we are all different people, and should be nurturing that individualistic seed rather than rewiring our traits based on someone else’s results. My only real problem with this concept is one of a personal nature, for if I am to be completely honest with every girl I meet from now on, I’ll probably end up with some suicidal devil worshipping girlfriend, and that is not exactly what I need right now. I actually would never trust anyone who fell for me, to be fair. -
A good book disguised about a book of how to be attractive to women, that actually focuses on how to be honest and direct to yourself and others and live your life with passion. Main take-aways are that women are attracted to high-status men who invest more in themselves than they do in the first beautiful women they come across. So invest in yourself, in your passions and live your life for no-one but yourself. Be honest about your intentions and don't let your confidence hinge on whether she likes you or not.
Good book for the (insecure) man who lives his life living up to others' expectations. -
This book offers contradictory - if valuable - insight and advice.
The first half of the book, which is mostly theoretical, is full of gems. Manson encourages radical authenticity, and criticizes the "typical dating advice books" for trying to teach guys how to "perform." Great so far.
Then, Manson literally goes on to do just that. The 2nd half of the book is full of practical advice including specific regiments for things like how to dress to impress, how to approach, how to be funny, how to make conversation, how to make physical contact, how to escalate, etc. Ummm... this is precisely the kind of thing he was ceaselessly bashing.
It feels as though Manson had a seizure midway through writing the book.
Blaring inconsistencies aside though, the (first half of the) book is worth a read. -
Amazing and so funny and well-written book about seduction. Highly recommended for everybody.
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When I was growing up, after breaking up with my first girlfriend I thought I have to get to the bottom of this stuff. Awkward adolescence of a skinny dude with nerdy hobbies but a persistence in problem solving lead me to read lots of material on this. I followed the works of a few pick up artists, but it left me all disappointed. There was a lot of truth to it all, yes, but there was also a lot of pressure to learn some behavior which just seemed like dishonest performance. Being dishonest with who I felt I was.
I gave up on the materials years ago, since love/sex life was going okay even without trying to hack it.
However a friend brought up Mark in a conversation insisted this book was really really good and that its full of perspectives which go beyond the goal of having success with women. And I already read some Mark's blog and lately randomly his book The Subtle art of not giving a f*** and realized he has very intriguing writing style and his insights were deep, very much in sync with buddhistic philosophies I got interested in.
So I gave it a go. And I loved it. I wish this was the first book I'd read as an adolescent about this. It would definitely be the last one.
Manson is successful in helping you realize the values women find generally attractive and actually gives pointers to how to develop a better self, which naturally brings results, without forcing you to do anything specific (well yes, he does tell you to wear good clothes, take care of your fitness and have social hobbies. But if you consider that not being the real you, maybe think about why a girl would pick you in the first place). He promotes honesty as the primary principle to build your (love) life around. Be vulnerable, honest in your intentions, honest in action, communication and live an honest life (in sync with your values and desires) and this in itself will bear the sweet fruit of deep connections with the women waiting for you out there. -
First off, I hate giving negative reviews. "There are many great books written with great efforts which cold-heartedly receive 1-star reviews." This is what I used to think before starting to read this book.
Before
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, I finished reading
The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them and gave it a 5-star review. It probably increased my expectation of what a brilliant seduction book should be, and it is definitely for the best. I am much past the whole newbie and virgin period, thus looking at these practices partly in hindsight. The advice from
The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them highly resonated with the feelings I had back in the old days; what I actually did, the hard way, to get past them. Afterwards, I read the theories of
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty. It started off rather weak, alluding to concepts borrowed from other sources--one being vulnerability, which has its own section in the book, and he directly mentions
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead--making it far from original. In the beginning, it seemed like a book any male in his mid-twenties could write: look good, take action, be less invested than the woman, accept rejection, etc. and, trust me, I am saving you much time saying these platitudes in a sentence rather than a whole book repeating each to the extent of exasperation.
The weaknesses do not stop just here. It has devoted a whole chapter on how to look handsome:Bar none, fitness and fashion will do more attract women in a shorter amount of time than anything else... Buy a few pair of designer jeans and a dozen or so shirts. [in an attempt to cost you even more money than buying a nonsense book] You pick a pair of jeans, a nice shirt, and then throw your "brown set" or "black set" on...
Boy it was a moment of shame and vulnerability when I first read these paragraphs. It reminded me of my days of virginity and my mindset of "attracting women": going to gym, buying accessories, wearing matching clothes... Why? To "attract women". Anyone who has attracted women more than once in his life would testify that fitness and fashion are neither the fastest way to attract women nor the best way. Nowadays, whenever I see a male self-consciously wearing accessories and trying to accentuate his muscles by wearing revealing, A.K.A "nice", shirts I sense neediness; the lack of confidence so deep that makes him think his accessories and muscles can fill the gap.
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty advocates fashion and fitness, the looks, so excessively, one would be paralyzed when he is not wearing his gold ring out trying to seduce a woman he finds attractive.
When I started reading this book I thought of it as a banal piece that points out true points which would make it a 4 starer. Then its advice reached the point that they actually became counter productive, that they would rob a person off his self-esteem, scaring him to the point of not even approaching, hence the 1 star. If you are not going to make the world a better place, please, do not make it a worse one. -
This was a good book to read, from start till finish. As my friend mentioned, it's a 'healthier' approach to meeting women, compared to other schools of thought such as Real Social Dynamics.
He mentions 'TRUE confidence' which involves caring less about what people think of you, than YOUR opinion of yourself. FALSE confidence, on the other hand, stems from being unconfident and highly invested in what others think of you.
"To develop true confidence, a man must develop self-respect, a healthy sense of boundaries, social competence and healthy life habits. It's often a painful long-term process that entails quite a bit of introspection, questioning, doubt, anger, frustration, personal development, lifestyle changes, and so on."
This book contrasts with the mindset of Real Social Dynamics by saying 'if you don't find her attractive, don't feel a need to pursue her.' RSD would recommend pursuing regardless, for the 'reference experience'. Both ideas are relevant, in my opinion. But one can end up pursuing for the sake of 'validation' rather than actual attraction.
To pursue based on actual attraction, goes with being honest with yourself. Honesty in this book is defined as:
1) living based on your life-style (values)
2) becoming comfortable with your intentions (boldness)
3) expressing sexuality freely (communication)
By fearing approaching, you are in fact fearing your own sexuality, and sexual interests in approaching a woman. You are not being honest with yourself, and are ultimately invested more in her opinion of you, than of yourself.
Similar to the author, when I make an excuse not to approach (given plenty of opportunity), I engage in apathy... pretending and ultimately convincing myself that 'I don't care'. This is just being dishonest with what I actually want, and preventing full and free expression of myself.
But at the same time, the author mentions Napoleon Hill's 'Think and Grow Rich'; specifically, the chapter on 'Sexual Transfiguration'. Very successful males have extremely high sex drives... but they convert that sexual energy into work and accomplishments. By abstaining from sex and masturbation for a long time, they felt more energized over the long-term.
And ultimately, it's fun to boast about your results with women, but it comes down, more importantly to finding women that actually make you happy. At the root of all female attraction, is feeling secure with the man they are with. This is why women seek men who are more confident than themselves, and are therefore attracted to men who behave with status and confidence; 'men who behave in line with their intentions.'
I recommend this book to all men in the pursuit of self-actualization and understanding the world around them - 5/5
"Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived." ~ Dalai Lama -
This book is an incredible read for those who want to be successful and confident with women!
Earlier in the year I was in the middle of a promising friendship that was on the cusp of forming into a relationship, sadly as time went on the amazing connection I had faded away this prompted me to examine why and what made this happen. Before reading this book I thought the ending of this amazing connection was rooted in problems in the last 2 weeks, but after reading this book I realized the seeds of this connection being undone was cast much earlier than that.
As a Practicing Catholic, I am called to teeter-tooter between that fine line between Lust and Prudishness so that I might find a Loving Relationship. This book because it is grounded in Self-Mastery and Self-Respect actually sets a tone that rises higher than most raunchy pick-up artists, for in here I am surprised at how the author encourages long-term emotional involvement both out of practicality and ethical reasons. Granted, certain suggestions exceed the bound of the life I seek to live, but it is my belief that this book has a comparatively Higher Degree of Assimilation to a practicing religious individual.
Gone are all the silly formulae and rigid formalities of old pickup artists, Gone also are all the feelings of Neediness and Dependence, Gone also are all the Guilts, Rejections, and Remorse. This author makes the point clear that only through not caring about "getting laid" and focusing beyond it will you ever have hope of being the Man who Women want to be around. The authors sense of realism is astonishing! -
As obvious as it is that I'm not a guy who needs help with the ladies, I reasonably enjoyed this book and picking up women.
When I first read The subtle art of not giving a fuck I found Mr Manson quite funny and engaging. He had a lot of good points about life and I really liked his writing style, so I figured I would give Models a go as well.
In the first three-quarters of the book, he gives quite reasonable advice, even though some of them are a little strange, but they do make sense. For some reason, he writes like he is talking to oblivious idiots and I would say that it really gives an insight into the modern and western perception of masculinity, even more, the masculinity of North America. I especially enjoyed the part where he gives advice on grooming and reading.
I listened to this as an audiobook produced by the author himself and I think he read the whole thing in one go because after the second hour it's obvious that he's getting tired and that he can't read properly anymore. He also sounded incredibly bored at times which in turn made me bored as well. -
When I 15 and had completely no experience with girls, my friend recommended The Game. At the time, I thought it was great book on getting girls, only as I mature did I realised that it was not actually good advise but instead a cautionary tale. After a break-up, I wondered if there's book out that helps you attract women without changing yourself into something you wouldn't like. Apparently there's one.
A few basic common sense is covered in this book such as: dress well, be confident, live an interesting life but the in-depth explanation he goes through with regards to confidence is eye-opening. There are different ways people have tried to be confident but it seems the way is to be vulnerable, which seems like a weird concept when most males think the ultimate man shows no emotions.
I guess the main take away from this book is on how to connect and relate with women emotionally by opening up. In other words, attract women by allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
I might change this review in the future, it's going to take a while to process a few things. -
My favorite aphorism from the book - `The only way to build true confidence is to build yourself.' A true relationship is not about erasing ourselves or attempt to change someone. This boils down to the core principle of you are enough and be yourself. It's about being strong in the body (exercise of any kind), constantly progressing in the mind (reading, getting a range of experiences by experimenting different things, getting out of your comfort zone) and developed in the spirit (meditation and mindfulness, travel). I also like how this book emphasizes openness and vulnerability to create true connections rather than just being arrogant with negs, like other pickup books usually suggest. After all, relationship is all about being honest and respectful to each other. I honestly don't know how a man could read this book and not improve his life in some way from it. Without a doubt, this book is a necessity for every man out there.
