Children Are from Heaven: Positive Parenting Skills for Raising Cooperative, Confident, and Compassionate Children by John Gray

Children Are from Heaven: Positive Parenting Skills for Raising Cooperative, Confident, and Compassionate Children Reviews

• 
  Heba Hssn

  كتاب جميل
  عجبتني قصة أستاذ مربع الذي عنده ثلاث أطفال(( دائرة ومثلث ومربع صغير))
  وما أكثر حرصه علي إنتاج مربعات مثالية مثله
  وهنا تبدأ معاناة الاطفال والأب
  وشعور الأطفال والأب بالذنب .
  وظهور أشباه شخصية
  طبعا ما أسعد المربع الصغير
  وأما الباقي أصبحو مشوهيين لم يصبحو أنفسهم كما يجب ولم يصبحو مربع سليم متعافي بدون أضرار وإنبعاج في سطحه وداخل روحه
  أستاذ مربع بدلا من أن تسعي لتربية مربعات مثالية
  في إمكانك. تربية أفضل دائرة وأفضل مثلث
  ((كل طفل سيصبح أفضل في القالب الذي هوا طبيعته))
• 
  Nariman

  At first I thought I was reading this one for work, and I saw from the title that it only concerns parents or teachers... but my interest grew bigger soon after I started with it.
  
  It helps us to know more about ourselves now, when we understand what got us here and this book takes us way back to childhood. It shows us the links between some of our insecurities or securities and the parenting techniques or lack of techniques we received as children. We see how some of our characteristics and tendencies began to evolve.
  
  What I would like to share from this book is some chapters' titles.
  
  The Five Messages of Positive Parenting:
  - It's okay to be different.
  - It's okay to make mistakes.
  - It's okay to express negative emotions.
  - It's okay to want more.
  - It's okay to say no, but remember mom and dad are the bosses.
  
  The Four Temperaments:
  -Sensitive children need listening and understanding.
  - Active children need preparation and structure.
  - Responsive children need distraction and direction.
  - Receptive children need ritual and rhythm.
  
  And The Different intelligences:
  - Academic intelligence.
  - Emotional intelligence.
  - Physical intelligence.
  - Creative intelligence.
  - Artistic intelligence.
  - Common sense intelligence.
  - Intuitive intelligence.
  - Gifted intelligence.
  
  I do recommend it to self-explorers and I think it's a must-read for parents and teachers.
• 
  Eman Helmy

  Very good once he gets to the point!! I think this book should be summarized to half of it. Over 350 pages is too much for what he has to say. And the question" HOW do I do that."arises a lot while I'm reading. Maybe everything will come clear at the end. Otherwise there are a lot of important points about parenting I learned from here that I wouldn't have known elsewhere. I'm a Bit skeptical about the part about avoiding fear based methods,I think there should be at least a tiny part of it. The chapter about minimizing resistance is good though,tells you how to deal with every kind of child.
  
• 
  Hafsa Yusuf

  كتاب جميل، ليس فقط لأنه يعلم كيف يجب أن نتعامل مع الأطفال، بل لأنه يفتح أعيننا على أنفسنا؛ كيف نشأنا يوم كنا أطفال! يساعد الإنسان على أن يراجع نشأته وتربيته ويكون أكثر تفهما لما لا يعجبه في تربيته وأقدر على معالجة أي آثار ظلت في نفسه من تلك المرحلة الأهم في حياة كل إنسان
• 
  أثير النشمي

  وجدت الكتاب تجارياً للغاية ، لم يحتوي بالنسبة لي على أية إضافة تربوية ، لم استمتع به ولم استفد منه
• 
  Megan

  I skimmed a lot, but appreciated the techniques in here. Skip this repetitive read, and give your kids 5 things:
  
  1. Permission to be different, which enables children to discover, appreciate, and develop their unique inner potential and purpose.
  2. Permission to make mistakes, which enables children to self-correct, learn from their mistakes, and achieve greater success.
  3. Permission to express negative emotions, which teaches children to manage their emotions and develop a feeling awareness that makes them more confident, compassionate, and cooperative.
  4. Permission to want more, which helps children develop a healthy sense of what they deserve and the skill of delayed gratification. They are able to want more, and yet be happy with what they have.
  5. Permission to say no, which enables children to exercise their will and to define a true and positive sense of self. This freedom strengthens children’s mind, heart, and will and develops a greater awareness of what they want, feel, and think. This permission to resist authority is at the basis of all the positive-parenting skills.
  
  Then every time you need cooperation, do the following steps:
  1. Ask for what you want child to do
  2. Listen and validate feelings
  3. Offer a related reward if possible ("If you get PJs on now, we'll have time for a story")
  4. Give a command ("I want you to..."). Repeat this command several times if necessary.
  5. Give a time out (not a punishment, but a chance for child to regain self control)
• 
  Tatuu

  Thanks to my journal, I discover that I read some parenting books in the year 2008. But why???
  
  I remember this to be a bulky book and I definitely can't remember all the principles that are shared until I read it again. Here are 5 messages to positive parenting.
  1. It's okay to be different
  2. It's okay to make mistakes
  3. It's okay to express negative emotions
  4. It's okay to want more. [Though I have an issue with this- if it's okay to want more, then how will I teach them contentment?] Maybe that was explained but I didn't put it down.
  5. It's okay to say no, but Mom and Dad are the bosses.
• 
  امرأة تقرأ

  قبل أن أقتني هذا الكتاب فكرت في استعارته من قريبة لي لديها أربعة أطفال، لما رأيت غلاف كتابها وقد زيدت كلمة بين السطرين فأصبح العنوان ( الأطفال شياطين من الجنة) هكذا قرأته،
  بعد أن شممت رائحة الجنة ورزق بطفلي جنتي
  عرفت بأن هذه الجنة لا يتمتع بها الكثير، وعلى الرغم من أنني قرأت نسخة إلكترونية قررت شراء نسخة ورقية خاصة بي لأقرأ عنوانه فقط في مكتبتي كل يوم.
• 
  ( Ebtsamh )

  كتاب تربوي من الطراز الأول
  
  عجبني وايد واسمتعت فيه
• 
  Randa Elwakil

  كتاب حلو يساعدك في تحسين طريقتك في التعامل مع الأطفال او المراهقين.
• 
  melissa madjid

  Berikut poin-poin bagus yang mel dapet dari bacaan yang remarkable ini...
  
  penulis kawakan ini bahkan membutuhkan 30 tahun untuk mengembangkan kemahiran mengasuh secara positif yang tertuang dalam buku ini. 16 tahun sebagai penasihat, serta mempelajari situasi terutama dari problema para orangtua. 14 tahun untuk mengembangkan aplikasinya...
  
  * Bagian penting dalam mengasuh anak adalah mencurahkan kasih sayang, waktu dan energi sepenuhnya. Kasih sayang adalah hal utama, tapi ternyata kasih sayang saja tidak cukup.
  orangtua perlu memahami apa kebutuhan-kebutuhan unik anak2nya. tanpa pemahaman, orangtua tak akan bisa mendukung mereka dengan efektif. banyak yang sudah melewatkan waktu bersama anak2, tapi tak mampu [belum kali yaa:] untuk memenuhi keinginan/kebutuhan anak. anak malah menolak usaha orantua...
  maka diperlukan cara-cara baru dalam mengasuh anak...dan tinggalkan cara-cara lama...
  
  * Banyak orangtua yang tidak terlibat dalam mengasuh anak2 mereka tidak menyadari betapa besarnya kegembiraan bersama anak2 mereka, yang tak mereka rasakan.
  
  * Masalah pada anak2 bermula dari rumah, dan dapat diatasi di rumah.
  
  * Memupuk kemauan anak & bukan menjinakkannya adalah dasar untuk menciptakan rasa percaya diri, sikap kooperatif, dan memahami perasaan orang lain pada diri anak.
  
  * Tujuan membesarkan anak-anak secara positif adalah menciptakan anak2 yang punya kemauan, tapi bersikap kooperatif. Tujuannya bukan menciptakan anak baik2, tapi membuat anak bersikap mengerti terhadap perasaan orang lain. Tujuan menciptakan anak2 menjadi kooperatif tidak sama dengan menciptakan anak2 'penurut'. Anak-anak kooperatif masih menginginkan apa yang mereka inginkan, tapi mereka lebih ingin menyenangkan orangtua mereka....
  
  * Kehidupan bermoral tidak dipaksakan dari luar pada anak2 tapi timbul dari dalam dan dipelajari melalui kerjasama dengan orangtua.
  
  * Hukuman membuat orangtua/guru menjadi musuh yang harus ditinggal bersembunyi, bukan menjadi orangtua yang harus didatangi untuk dimintai dukungan. Dulu hukuman untuk mempertahankan kendali sebagai orangtua, tapi sekarang malah sebaliknya. Karena anak-anak sekarang lebih sensitif, dalam artian mudah meng-copy tindakan buruk dengan membalas keburukan pula.
  
  * Anak anak mendengarkan bila orangtua juga mendengarkan mereka.
  
  wah..itu baru poin-poin pendahuluan, lom ke halaman 1....
  amazing!
  
  * Anak juga membutuhkan waktu 'sendiri' walau dalam hitungan beberapa menit saja, namun anak manja biasanya membutuhkan waktu sendiri lebih banyak, untuk dapat memahami sitasinya.
  
  * Ajari anak untuk meminta, bukan memerintah. dampingi untuk memilih kata yang tepat, seperti kata "tolong.. , ayo.."
  bukan dengan kata "jangan.. , sana! ..."
  
  * Kata- ajakan seperti "ayo kita.." efektif untuk anak berumur 9 thn kebawah. untuk setelahnya, lebih efektif dengan bertindak bersama..
  
  * menangani anak remaja ;
  bukan dengan memberi kebebasan , tapi menguatkan komunikasi...yang jelas dan terbuka.
  karna bila ia merasa tidak diterima di rumah, maka ia akan mencari dukungan dari temannya.
  
  salah satu poin yang bagus :
  
  "Anak-anak tidak pernah jelak, mereka hanya lepas dari kendali"
  
  * kalau orangtua berpinmdah ke bawah garis generasi, maka anak mungkin terpaksa menjadi dewasa terlalu dini.
  
  * kalau orangtua membutuhkan dukungan emosional, sepantasnya mereka mendapatkan dari orang yang berada diatas generasinya, bukan kepada anak.
  
  
  
• 
  Huda Albahrani

  (أن تكون والدا أمر صعب، و لكن كما نعلم جميعا فهذه اهم وظيفة نقوم بها في الح��اة و أجدرها بالاهتمام)
  
  كتاب رائع جدا و انصح الاباء و الامهات بقراءته😃👍🏻
• 
  Marci

  I found some of his advice to be interesting, but he tends to go on and on in his writing and I found myself skipping over paragraphs because it seemed so repetitive. I do really like his steps for encouraging obedience from children...although he doesnt call it obedience really, he calls it childrens natural desire to please their parents. I have been discouraged lately as I hear my son mimic orders to me and I don't like it. So, following Dr. Gray's advice to ask "Would you....please?" brought about immediate changes in how my son talks to me now. There are some more steps that come after the initial request, should the child choose to say No, that I still need to work on in order to see how effective it is, but overall - reading this book was a nice reminder to just be more polite to my son and even my husband. The atmosphere in the house has changed for the better.
• 
  Fanny

  I felt quite disappointed and did not even finish reading this book. Some of the advice are interesting but others seem pretty unrealistic to me. I agree with Gray's approach of avoiding punishment, physical or psychological, but his method has not convinced me fully. The practical examples he gives on how to speak to children seem very unlikely to me. Furthermore, the book is quite repetitive and lengthy.
• 
  Marius

  Loved the “positive parenting” concept. Some of my personal education towards son was so undescribed, I did not have any pattern or felt bad while telling him things too roughly according to my personal feeling, as my parents did. I am happy that I found information how to tell hard things without negativity, pressure or motiv. That’s a really great book which I think to use as notes for many years in advance.
• 
  Tasneem Zafer

  Was very helpful!
  I don't agree though with some of the ideas but in general I really learned something that has helped me a lot when I first started teaching kg1s!
  I highly recommend teachers and parents to go through it once at least!
  Thank you Miss Mariam for recommending the book.
• 
  Rawan J.

  This is an excellent book for (new) mamas who are as confused and anxious as I am as my baby approaches toddlerhood! The messages were very clear and came in small chunks. Very easy to absorb and apply. I felt some sort of comfort cloud over me as I read this book. I would definitely recommend it!
• 
  Kara

  I hated this book. I couldn't even finish it. Very opinionated and full of crap.
• 
  Afnan Nasser

  تدور فكرة الكتاب عن مهارات تربوية ايجابية يجب ان يتعلمها الأهل و يتقنوها لتنشئة اطفال متعاونين و واثقين و متعاطفين .
  
  الكتاب يركز على خمس رسائل من اجل تربية ايجابية صحية و صحيحة :
  لا بأس في ان تكون مختلفا
  لا بأس في ارتكاب الاخطاء
  لا بأس في التعبير عن المشاعر السلبية
  لا بأس في ان ترغب في المزيد
  لا باس في ان تقول لا و لكن تذكر بان الاب و الام هما المتحكمان في زمام الامور
  
  الجميل في الكتاب ان الكاتب يشرح كل نقطه و يفسرها ويوضح الفرق بين تطبيق مثل هذه الرسائل على كل من الطفل و الطفلة كنوعين مختلفين ذكر وانثى ، على المراحل العمرية المختلفة والتي قسمها الى ثلاث مراحل .
  
  المزعج ان الفكرة تعاد و تتكرر بشكل مبالغ فيه احيانا لدرجة اشعرتني بالملل في مواقع معينة .
  
  اشعر في كل مرة اقرا فيها كتاب تربية انني خرجت بكم هائل من المعلومات المرصوصة و بافكار كثيرة و كبيرة و ليس من السهل تنفيذها و الذي يحتاج الى صبر و تدريب و وقت و جهد ، بالإضافة الى انك تشعر بان الكاتب يضيء لك فكرة معينه بدون طرق مساعدة لكيفية البدء او العمل على الفكرة لتصبح واقع وهذا ما يشعرني كأم احيانا بالإحباط او التوتر من كم المعلومات
  
  
  ولكن ما شعرت
• 
  Asta Dagienė

  The book is repetetive as most of educational books, but the idea and methods inside it are simple and amazing. I started fixing my parenting skills right away and simply was astonished of the fact that they workied imediately !
  I do recommend this book to all parents and all teachers.
• 
  Adriana

  This book started out great - a new method of parenting with its own principles that I was excited to learn. Then at the halfway mark it started to get very repetitive. It was like Gray didn't know what words he preferred to use so he rewrote the whole book multiple times. Over and over again he focused on WHY positive parenting is great, but I found myself asking HOW a lot - especially with the principle of keeping your authority. In the end, even the basics of positive parenting seemed quite obvious to me without having to read this book - don't hit your child, listen to them and keep it positive. I would love to learn more about this method with the focus on the practical side of it and from a different author.
• 
  Rachel

  I am still reading this book. I am not sure whatto say yet. It is new and different than other parenting books I have read and I like the direction it is going in. I want to talk about it more and think about it more but I need to read more!
  
  My husband said when I mentioned one concept,"That is the opposite as the the other book we read!" I said,"I know, just go with it! It cannot hurt to try."
  
  I still am going to get to this book but the one I am reading right now takes priority! (Hold Onto Your Kids)
  
  Some day I will read them all!
• 
  Leahjoypro

  I picked up this book b/c years ago I read a lot of his relationship books and found them to be spot-on - especially "Mars and Venus on a Date". This book has a lot of great things to say, although I didn't necessarily agree with everything. His explanations of time-outs are helpful and interesting. He also has a lot of insight into understanding your child's point of view. Like many other parenting books I've read, he seems to borrow heavily from "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen...", but it's still definitely worth a read.
• 
  Hamdanil

  Interesting book with a lot of useful material here. The author draws from his extensive experience as a parent and also as a professional counselor. But note that they are not based on scientific or rigorously proven research. The messages are simple and explained with easy-to-follow explanation and practical examples. Some of the themes explained are the importance of time-outs, "five messages of positive parenting", and four temperaments of children. Sometimes sounds gimmicky and repetitive, but probably that's the prevailing style of writing when this book was published 15 years ago.
• 
  Somaya A. Eita

  الكتاب الثاني الذي أقرأه لجون جراي بعد (الرجال من المريخ والنساء من الزهرة)، ولا يزال الكاتب يحدث باقتدار..
  
  كتاب جميل، بأفكار جديدة، كم نحن بحاجة إلى الثورة على طرق التربية الكلاسيكية/القمعية التي شوهت نفسيات الإنسان العربي وأنتجت مواطنين يسهل قمعهم ...
  النجمة الخامسة مفقودة للتكرار والإطالة خاصة في الفصل الأخير، وأتمنى أن يكون الإطناب مشكلة الترجمة فقط، رغم أن وجود العبارات التلخيصية بين الفقرات خففت من حدته..
  
  كتاب جميل أنصح به بإلحاح جميع الأمهات ،، والآباء أيضا ..
• 
  Maryam A-al khalifa

  الكتاب له نظرى اخرى عن التربيه لكنه ساعدني ع المستوى الشخصي لفهم بعض الاعمال التي نقوم بها ولماذا نحن كهذا ذكرني بأشياء كثيره عن طريقت تربيت اهلي وماوجب فعله ،
  - بدلاً من البحث والتركيز ع اخطاء الطفل حاول تشجيعه وهو يقوم بأشياء صحيحه
  - الوقت المستقطع بديلاً للعقاب او الضرب
  - اذا لم تطلب فإنك لن تحصل ع شيء ولكن عندما تطلب فإنك لن تحصل ع كل شيء دائماً
  - تحت الضغوط يميل الاولاد إلى التركيز بينما تميل الفتيات إلى المزيد من الحديث
  - احياناً مايحتاج الطفل إلى البكاء حتى يعود للشعور بتحسن
• 
  Melanie Curren

  This is the single best parenting book I have ever read. I own it in paperback, and I bought the audio cd. I have it on my ipod, and try to listen to every 6 months or so. It is so fantastic, and so good about how to parent all different types of kids in a positive way with firmness, but not meanness. I really love this book, and highly recommend it to everyone who deals with children.